"So I Could Find My Way" by Stacey L. Bolin

My hands are trembling as I find the ability to write once again, it's like riding a bike, you never forget. The sounds of the keyboard clicking beneath my fingers brings a comforting feeling like a hug from that special person you haven't seen in years. Since my travels that took me from my home of 22 years, I fell off the face of the earth in the world of writing.  My love for writing had soured. I won't lie, never have, and won't start now. I was so FUCKEN angry!! I could spit nails every time I opened my mouth. I was pissed off that my home was now occupied by anyone other than my family. I loved my home, I loved my life, and all I wanted was my husband and boys with me. I also lived with a sense of peace by having all my doctors so close...I felt safe. Yet, all that safety was ripped from me when the one person I needed the most told me he didn't love me at the time. He had been mislead for years, with the biggest lie being that life would be better when he moved back to the west. The only thing I will say is that the reality of that painted wonderful life lasted only six months. In December his soul that believed all things were good and kind had been destroyed and had to be rebuilt once again, but I'll get back to that.

For years I honestly thought I was invincible, nothing could hurt me, or at least I could pretend it didn't when in actuality, I had transformed into a clinical case of what I like to call the Hollow Bunny syndrome, Solid on the outside, empty and dark on the inside and so deeply saddened. My sugar coated hope was to transition into a new life in a remote location on a Ranch to rent that was located in a place called Rocky Hollow, that my husband had found only three days before selling our home. It was a relief to know I finally knew we had a place to rest our head and I hoped from what I had seen from google earth, a place to call home until the next move.  Life in Rocky Hollow was like being a part of the Wonderful World of Disney shows that were televised on Sunday nights. It reminded me of my favorite documentary that had been about the life of the cougar. It was like living on a Disney set that was an animal reservation, and I was in love with the feeling of peace that consumed me soon as we drove down into the Hollows. It was everything I envisioned at the age of 9 of what the wild west would and should be like.  When we pulled into the driveway I was overjoyed that the world up on the prairie lands no longer existed in my mind. We were nestled within the trees and rocky hills. It was a dream come true and all was wonderful until my husband went back to work. For the first few months I did all I could to convince myself that all was right in the world, but day by day my intuition was screaming in the back of my mind and one day I decided to act upon this feeling and discovered on August 3, 2016 a negative element found its way into our lives again, or better yet had not been dealt with as I had been promised, but neither of us had the strength to put it in its place and it set a ticking health bomb that was waiting to explode.

My days were filled with a whole new set of challenges with the most worrisome being when the health bomb eventually went off and I had a heart attack in September 2016. A nurses honest words still haunt... noticing that my ER doctors bedside manner sucked, she provided some words of guidance, she was calm as she told me that I was very sick and if my younger son had not been with me to see the signs and if I sign myself out of the hospital, because I'm so goddamn stubborn... they would been planning my funeral that following Tuesday. Talk about shake some sense into a person, a sense that was also laced with sheer fear and that non-stop want to runaway. I'm not proud of myself when I say I let fear take control and I left my home in Rocky Hollow, on Oct 5th, 2016. I left my husband, I left my boys, I left everything behind with no plans to return. 

My husband took me to the airport and I did my best to  conceal any emotion that I was broken, and as scary as it sounds, he had no idea I was leaving and he was the only person who could fix the problem if he wanted me back.  It was later, in my travels, that I learned that I had just as much fixing to do with myself. I hugged him and gave him a quick kiss then turned and walked away. I was leaving the man of my dreams. The one who had stepped into my sleeping dreams on that cool winter night in November of 1988 the man in the red van that needed my help. I had only bought a one way ticket to NH to see my mother and then my plans were to go back to Annapolis to see my friends before veering off into a new and unknown world that left me feeling old, cold and alone.

Being back in New Hampshire was bittersweet. I was home, but I carried an emptiness along with my luggage while my husband and boys were living their lives back in Nebraska. As I drove, I began the long journey of self discovery. What had I done to those around me, what had I said, but all I could feel was the reactions of being angry to things that were of no control of mine. That I had made so many promises...AND KEPT THEM ALL! But those who had made promises to me didn't keep them. I needed to find the woman I was before I went into the service and the woman that fought a battle with cancer and survived, the woman who stood up to a bullies, that believed in the power within herself, the woman that would do anything to help someone, the woman who was caring, loving, and compassionate.  The woman who had built herself a small company and loved art. Yet the most important lesson that needed to be figured out...how to find the woman within me who loved herself again, because she knows you have to learn to love yourself before you can honestly love another.

My mother and I spent much needed quality time together, something we had not done in years. She had always been my rock, and this time wasn't any different, she set me straight and what I needed to do to be the woman she knew that lived inside me. It was a great feeling to have a sense of confidence back as I worked feverishly on an order of Crystal snowflakes for a wedding. This was to be my first order since I had temporarily shut my business down during the move. For the three and a half weeks I was there, I had completed the order and felt accomplished. My husband and I had as many phone conversations as his over the road trucking job, without much time off, would allow us. As we shared phone calls with each other into the wee hours of the night at times, I felt myself going back in time, back too 1992 when my mother lived in Hillsboro, NH, and when my Seabee guy decided to fly to New Hampshire to get Married on May 6th.  I felt like that gitty young twenty something girl falling in love all over again. Something was changing inside me that I had never felt before. I was finally letting go of many years of sadness, I was learning that the only person that had control over my happiness was me. It was then I discovered I still loved him, maybe even more than I had thought. I decided that the past was the past and if I wanted things to work out, we had to get back to the place that we were when we met. Baby step...but we've gone through worse. On October 18th, I had decided I was not up for the long drive to Annapolis, and hopped a Southwest flight to Baltimore. I was a bit over confident, how hard could it be to go back and see all my friends and  do a follow up with my doctor. With my new found independence, I believed that going back to Annapolis would be a piece of cake...I WAS SO SO WRONG.

Not a lot of people know that I suffer from Anxiety/PTSD that can result in panic attacks that are so sever that the best of inhalers can't stop the effect and before you know it, you're in the ER. As the plane landed, I was relatively calm, and the sights outside the airplane window found comfort within my subconscious as a feeling that I was home. I was in complete denial that I had ever left and that my family was home waiting for me in Annapolis. I was so excited to see them. To sit out on our deck and listen to the sounds of the city. Karma was about to hit me with everything it had. When I got off the plane and made my way to the rental car transportation pick-up point, something immediately changed, something was horribly wrong and it was at that moment I felt so alone. I took a selfie of me smiling and sent it to my friend Radene, trying to hide the panic that was trying to consume my ability to function. Questions by the thousands hit me like a load of brinks. All revolving around the same topic that I was there and my family wasn't.

I got my rental car and headed for Annapolis. As I merged with the evening rush hour traffic, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I was lost both mentally and physically. What seemed like hours trying to get out of the airport location and back to the highways I knew and had driven for 20 plus years, The only place I managed to get to was the Walmart on Quarterfield road.  I sat in the parking lot suffering from a total melt down as I was faced with a sinking feeling that the reality I was facing was that I no longer had a place to go home too  in Annapolis. Our little Blue Rancher on Boxwood Road no longer belonged to us. WHAT HAD I DONE! I hadn't only given up my home, I was giving up my family, but for what? The past, old memories that I can look through pictures and enjoy. As I sat alone weeping for the past, and wanting to know what my future was, I completely gave myself  for the first time to god and asked him for a sign. Immediately my phone rang, it was my husband. I know he didn't understand me as I let myself cry without worry who would hear or see me. He got me calmed down and suggested it may be better to stay in a different hotel rather than the one he and I used to stay at when we wanted a hot tub fix. I agreed and I got a room on the Naval Base. I'm glad I did. While I stayed on the base, I realized what I wanted and what I needed to do to get my life back. One by one my husband and my boys realized that the lies that I had been accused of creating were not of my doing I was just the prime target so they would see me in a different light, again I thank the good lord that they are seeing and hearing first hand I was not the liar they were led to believe I was. It's still difficult for them to accept what and who are the real problems and the players, but day by day, the behaviors of others are showing their true colors. Part of this is the reason my husband decided to leave his job to regroup, the other reason I am not at liberty to share. I know he has dreams of owning his own business and I know as a family we will make all our dreams come true. I'm so proud of him and my boys and together we will keep that CAN-DO spirit that drives us forward.

Another wonderful moment was when I discovered my intuition had finally come back full steam and I've added a little something more to the me I want to be. I thank both my therapists who have finally helped me see that I am not allowed to take on other peoples problems. My new belief is that when people do you wrong, you ask for an apology and move on. never let anyone blame you for their unhappiness, lies, and bad choices. I chose to be a kind, loving, understanding, honest, compassionate, and trustworthy person, but I also chose not to hold on to what hurts me or to take blame for what is not mine and to teach myself that once a person/s loose my trust, it may never come back and that too is not my problem. I will take care of problems immediately and if I did something wrong I take responsibility and apologize. I will protect my family from those who intentionally seek out to hurt them, emotionally, verbally, physically, and financially. My family knows exactly what is expected of them and what I expect out of myself.  I will hold people accountable for their negative actions and I am no longer any body's personal punching bag because of their life choices, AND I WON'T BE BLAMED FOR SHIT I DIDN'T SAY OR DO! No more!

Anyways, as for my stay in Annapolis, it was cut short to five days, as I realized it was time for me to get back to my family. I am thankful that I was able to spend some time with my friend Radene and Paula (Miss you ladies), but my instinct told me it was time for me to go home and regain control over my life and make my business everything I dream it can be. To be the wife, best friend and lover that I had always been, just got lost but now found. To be the mother my boys can come to and know that I will guide them the best way I know how, but that their choices in life is exactly that...their choices. It is still so hard to believe that I had been gone for almost five weeks and at the beginning of those weeks I had just about given up on everything and everyone I loved, but it really makes me step back and take a look at my life. I can see clearly now that obviously this is where I am supposed to be, Here on the Ranch where I now call home. Business is doing great, my dreams to open up an art studio to teach art and ceramics to Veterans is still kinda on hold until we figure out where to put our new roots in the ground, but that hasn't stopped me instead I teach art classes at a great place called Laura Lee's Double L Country Store and Café. in Harrisburg, NE.

As life does, it's given me another challenge and I have another pending medical issue that has come upon me, but this time I'm not afraid to ask for love and prayers from friends and family, and I welcome my name placed upon the prayer tree. I'll know more in a few days, and if all else, maybe this is another reason I chose this day to put my hands upon my keyboards and let my words appear once again. Now before I forget, I have something else to share about the changes in my life....

And it's the best news of all, my kids are doing great and  hold on to your hats folks... my husband and I are going to be Grandparents. WOOT! WOOT! Can't think of a better reason to start writing again. Life is all about ups and downs, but as long as you're with the people that you love and love you, you can take the good and the bad of what life dishes out and overcome. Stay Positive My Friends and gonna keep this promise too...I will Blog ya later.

"Is It illegal to take my Cat's Valium? It is one of those days. Special Segment.

"Is It illegal to take my Cat's Valium?

It is one of those days.

Special Segment.

Written By: Stacey L. Bolin

Copyright 5/8/2016

I'm going to start out as wildly cautious as possible - Oxymoron? I'm thinking so.  

I'd be lying if I said the last few days have been pure bliss that had been filled with glittery winged unicorns burping candy rainbows and fluffy white clouds chucking pure gold coins from the sky. If only.

Because the past several days have been filled with endless anxiety and drama, then simmered nicely with love and affection, and topped with spontaneous excitement and surprises - this stuff just can't be written in a night. But I'll have you know, and you know me well by now, the truth is the best way to tell any story of reality that sometimes I can't help but wonder - Did God have a script, for me, already written on the number of different life challenges he was going to throw my way or did the Devil get a hold of my biography and rip out some pages without replacing them.

If there was ever a time in my life that I was wishing I was my cat - now is that time. Thank God for great friends, a loving family and my husband and boys. They can tell, what this mom is about to do, has been a long time coming - ROAD TRIP. What I'd like to do, is get these glorious mind numbing events down on paper, because seriously, I don't even believe it myself when I try to write how my last few days in the state of Maryland are seriously changing my life forever. So much so, before we begin our journey west, I am planning a quick trip within the month of May and I'm going back to my roots, and no not my real hair color, I'm headed back to New England to find the person I know I still am.

I will be keeping a journal and ask for a few days of patience, as I piece together why my blog title is perfect to describe this crazy ride I'm on.  I will be sharing my stories - as well as pictures I capture along the way - with you my readers. Hold on tight, you about to board one Hell of a ride and just when you think you can handle it - WOOSH! HOLD ON TIGHT!

Until then - Blog ya later.

2015 Already? How Time Flies.

 

 

Photo: By Stacey Bolin 8/2012

Greetings Everyone and welcome to the year 2015. Like riding a bike, it's great to be writing again. What a busy year it has been for my family and I. Our lives have been on this huge rollercoaster with the typical ups and downs in careers, health, finances, dreams and plans, but even when things feel like they can't get any worse or can't get any better, each New Year still arrives right on schedule and a feeling of another chance and a sense of new beginnings begin to appear on the horizon.  For my family and I, this is the year that I'd like to call - Opening the door when positive opportunity knocks.

Notice the word underlined...Positive. As we lived our lives in 2014, we couldn't help but notice how many struggles had overcome friends and family members, that even if I could extend out my hand and offer an ear, I just felt I couldn't do enough to make a positive change. I'm sure that I am not the only person who has ever felt that way, but it made me realize how thankful I am to have the many special people in my life, especially a husband who loves and cares for me, my two boys who are growing into young men - faster than the speed of light and to know that I am still in remission. So this year my vow is to steer clear of the negative darkness that works hard to shadow over happiness and stay positive.

 

While hanging out on Facebook, a friend of mine posted a quote that I don't even know if she realizes it is one of many favorites.

 

"It is what it is...not what it should have been and not what it could have been. It is what it is". 

 

There are days when I forget the peace within this quote and that the world can not be fixed or changed in one day. I'd like to look at life in a new perspective and knowing that I can not go back to the past, or even change the past or change people within it, but simply understand - "It is what it is." 

 

So my love for taking photographs, and feeling inspired by a friend I created this with the hopes that as people sit down for their morning coffee, or just talking to someone on your phone, or looking to give a unique gift, someone will be touched that this was made from the heart with the hopes to turn a frown upside down. You can check out my link.

https://teechip.com/beepositive#id=1001&c=014695


Until tomorrow - have a wonderful day and smile - it has the ability to be addictive and also makes people wonder what your up to.

 

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

 

A quote from the back seat:

"This much pain should be illegal - but got to keep smiling" 

 

Helllloooo everyone in Internet Land.  Yes, I will say it has been almost three weeks since I've enjoyed my morning coffee and let the words form at the tips of my fingers as my thumbs do their best to keep up with the space bar to keep my words from being jumbled. Last I wrote, I was in the temporary empty nesters training, that has now ended on Aug 1st, 2014, and that I am happy to report - WE PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS. WAA WHOO!!

My youngest son flew out to Nebraska on June 24th, to work with his grandfather on his wheat farm and on July 19th, my husband and I drove out to spend two weeks with friends and family and then the three of us were driving home together on Aug 1st. (So glad everyone in our family now has a license).  Now, the drama of this plan began on July 15th, when I was scheduled for a Lumbar Puncture A.K.A. a Spinal Tap. I was told this procedure was routine and that my doctor had done many of these procedures. Now in this 45 year old brain of mine, I am under this false belief that I'm 25 - O.K. 30 and that I can bounce back from any procedure in just a matter of a day and a few hours of bed rest. NOT THIS TIME! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING! - I wasn’t that was the problem.

My husband takes time off on that Tuesday morning so he could drive me home. I was never told that I had to lie still 6 hours after the procedure. I was told about the possibility of a Spinal Headache, but having had migraines for the past 23 years - this would be a piece of cake. I got through the procedure, the doctor let me get up and leave after 25 minutes of remaining on the procedure bed. I felt rather well, just pain from the two places they accessed my spine. Got in the truck, even went out for brunch at a restaurant. No headache. I had overcome the odds - so I had thought.

By morning of the 16th, life was not as I had envisioned and the only thing I wanted was to be placed into a coma for six weeks to survive the extreme pain that I was in. I could not walk, or sit - only lay down. I had so much to do and had left it until last minute thinking that I would still have three days after the procedure to get stuff done and be ready for our 27 hour drive to Nebraska. My vision of success turned into a Nightmare that was so riddled with extreme pain, that I felt paralyzed. By Thursday, my husband took more time off that morning to rush me to the emergency room in Bethesda, Maryland to see if I could get a Spinal patch done - nope only pain meds and sent home. They didn't have much empathy for our concern about our pending vacation that we had chosen to drive instead of fly.

Now you all know, if I can find a great story to write about, I'm on it, but having to lay down in the back of my Suburban to get some relief, and my husband having to do all the driving - I started seeing and doing some strange things - I blame the pain meds. But in that time, many things had happened to us that I still find funny, so I condensed it to one liners and I entitle this piece –

 

"Possible Book Titles Inspired by Pain from a Back Seat" By Stacey L. Bolin - Enjoy.

·        The Alarm Clock Assault

·        Didn’t leave til 6:30 – Sudden Shits

·        We stopped in Breeze wood, MD, could only eat a hash brown.

·        Spinal Headache on the road – Kill me now!

·        Jurassic Bug Guts Graveyard on the Windshield (See photo below)

 

·        Haunted by the Cinnabon scent from the vendor while in a Love’s truck stop restroom.

·        Sweaty Skin Stuck to the leather back seat.

·        Pain so bad, afraid to fart

·        Saw a huge cross in Kansas – Am I dead?

·        Hubbies Cell Phone Ringing – Again!

·        My man bitchin’ he’d been Looking for Lodging – No luck for Miles…in St. Louis

·        Denny’s and its dinner in my bra – Just couldn’t hold it down.

·        Puke Explosion in Terre Haute

·        The Nebraska Cup Port-a-pisser on the road – When you gotta go you gotta go.

·        Ron the Driver – Rated M for Mature: harsh language and hand gestures and toxic farts

·        Broke Bitch Mountain (Had to be there for that one ;)

·        Broke Dick Mountain (Was my response to the comment above)

·        I made it to the rest room – my shorts didn’t

And the number one title that would have everyone shocked for weeks – was inspired when my husband said to me as we finally got to our destination and climbed into bed for the night and I was still dealing with the pain – “Rub my back Fucka – I drove the whole trip.”

 

I hope you enjoyed my commentary about the first day on our trip. Even though I was dealing with some tremendous pain, after about 8 days, I was back to my old self, movin’ and grovin’. Below are a few pictures I captured during our travels. Thanks for reading and looking forward to sharing more stories that I have put together during the summer and during my empty nester training. Until next time – Blog ya later Alligators.

 

Seeing our oldest son for the first time.
He's now on a new Crew since this picture.

 

Wild Sunflower in Potter, Nebraska

 

My husbands Super "Sonic" weiner

 

Over the Rainbow in Stereo

 

Our youngest farming in the Panhandle of Nebraska

 

A Western Sunset in a mirror heading East.

 

"Gold Rings"



This is the mantel in our dining room that displays
over 50 Crystal Snowflakes from my collection.

Greetings One and All - I hope this post finds everyone Happy and Healthy this Holiday Season.

 

I'm sorry that I have not been available for my story writing, as some of you know I have an online store that keeps me very busy this time of year - and I love it. I have also been working on one story that has become very sentimental to me that needed the time to develop  vs. writing many stories for the entire month of November and December. It is a piece near and dear to my heart and is a true story.

 

I hope you join me for its debut on Christmas Eve 2013.  

"Gold Rings"

 

By: Stacey L. Bolin

Hex of the VooDoo Witch - "The Gray Hair Curse" - Original story

~Hex of the Voodoo Witch~

"The Gray Hair Curse"

Original Story written by:

Stacey L. Bolin
copyright: October 21, 2013

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer:

Please note that the story below is for mature

readers as it contains explicit material of a sexual nature and references alcohol use.

 

 

A couple, married in their early twenties, stood before friends and family and confessed their love for one another until death did them part. She was a buxom beauty with long auburn hair, sheer beauty, flawless skin and a toned body; he was tall and tan with dark chestnut colored hair and was as handsome and as strong as any man could be. Over the years they built their lives together and did their best to follow the most traditional life plan and did just about everything their parents and their grandparents had done - Marry, purchase a home, get a car, and plan for having a family of their own. One by one over four years they acquired all of the necessary material items while at the same time - a handsome son and two beautiful girls had been created and brought into the world. It was a home filled with love and built on trust and respect.

When their children began arriving into their teen years and early twenties, this married couple found a new past time to their days spent together. Dinners out alone, long afternoon naps, and weekends filled with football and great food. They had many friends and acquaintances and often times their kids still found the time to gather together with mom and dad, and everyone and make a great time out of it. Yet along the way, as most couples do, their age began to greet them in the mirror each morning - a wrinkle here and wrinkle there and few pounds here and a few pounds there. For her, the gray came quickly, for him – his chestnut hair was still as rich in its color as the day they married.

Knowing that it was important to be together as they transitioned through each stage of marriage, the wife also realized the importance of having time away from one another. She had always suggested that her husband go out with the guys, do something with the guys and be just one of the guys. She enjoyed his company but she also enjoyed the house to herself which was sometimes hard to do, in their home, of 4.5 people instead of 5, since their oldest son spent more time with his girlfriend than at home,

It was mid-October when her husband finally decided to take his wife's advice after 20 years of marriage, and went out with the guys on a Saturday night to the local sports bar and grill located on the town dock that they lived in. He wore is best blue jeans and a nice shirt, yet with very limited girth, but he wore it just the same. He pulled on his boots and put on an old ball cap, kissed his wife good-bye and headed out the door. She was relieved that he finally decided to go and do something for himself, while at the same time she was already missing his company, but filled her small bout with loneliness with movies, popcorn and pop. During a commercial that was talking about families - she stopped to wonder what the men might be doing with their new found guy time - watching football - Drinking beer - Having their ego's stroked by female patrons? - Probably all of the above. With that she paid it never a thought again.

The owners of the bar and grill knew just want to do to create an atmosphere that would have you losing all sense of time.  There were dozens of 38" LCD thin screened televisions perfectly placed all around the rather dimly lit bar, so not to miss any golden sports moments. The moment they entered the building there was a feeling that was overwhelming, and enticing at the same time. The music in the room was a familiar tone that all the men remembered during their High School days in the 80’s. The song was “It’s a dead man’s party” and was being performed by a no name band called the – The Bone Keepers.  There where various Halloween decorations of bats hanging from the ceiling and black and orange garland that had been braided with purple lights, wrapped every pole and railing in the place. The sounds of the various bar glasses hitting together to be filled, with that perfect drink or two, was the trigger the men needed to get their night underway. The air was drenched in a stench of perfume, cologne, and alcohol and they marveled at the fact that there wasn't a kid or crying baby in the place. Being without family they bellied up to the bar and did their best to flirt with any waitress, or female species that would make eye contact. It was their guy’s night and there were no girlfriends or wives to snap at them for taking in an eye full of a nice pair of boobs. They laughed and cut up while eating all the appetizers they wanted and relished in the thought that they didn't have to share them with their wives and children, and to top it off – the frosty mugs of beer just kept on coming and they just kept on drinking without a care in the world. The biggest surprise was  the endless  special of Red Devil Tequila shots now and then, that were always on the house when the waitress brought them to their group. With each shot, the men lost their ability to think of home or anything but the enticing want to be wild and crazy. To them there was only one word to describe their night so far - Heaven.

As the men consumed the alcohol of bravery, the men who were single had no problems luring women to their section of the bar. The women would laugh and rub up against them trying to be the girl chosen to hang with them for the night, but the men who were married began to feel the effects of life known as old age. Suddenly what had been just a guy’s night began to feel like a single man’s night out in the military accompanied by some one's dad that was there to supervise the choices they made and/or be the designated driver.

As the night grew later and later, All but one of the married men found some strategic way to excuse themselves to return home, without looking like their wives had them wrapped around their finger. The only one who stayed was the one who had never gone out with the guys since his wedding day. He liked that the place helped him forget all of his responsibilities that he had forged over the years.

Occasionally women would smile and say hello to him as they passed by, while others would stop and engage in small talk that would fall into a twisted form of playful teen age banter that always became sexual.  His ego was fully charged when he caught the attention of a tall woman with curves that never ended and silky hair that harbored an illusion that it was heavenly rays of sunlight. He was smitten with her and welcomed the small talk and eye contact that cleverly turned into physical touches and suggestive questioning on what they enjoyed sexually. Deep down he knew what he was doing, but the excitement of it all placed him in a position that at any point could be a costly mistake. As they got closer the talk became whispering within each other ears, until a mysterious woman graced his attention that immediately brought the coddling to an abrupt halt. She wore a long gown of multiple exotic colors and a veiled black hat that topped her long curly red hair. Her long beautiful nails were painted a blood red that had the sheen of Patton leather. As she touched his face and slowly ran her fingernails down the back of his neck her deep green eyes, looked thought his eyes and down into the depths of his soul making his body feel paralyzed, while without any acknowledgement to the curvaceous woman - the mysterious lady waved her away like fly buzzing around a dead rodent that was more of a nuisance and needed to be squashed.

She spoke to him in a low sultry southern accent, her skin was tight and tan and her lips were full and sensual and wore the color of blood red wine. He felt a magical sensation with her near and never gave the other women a second thought. She asked why a married man would place himself in a situation filled with great sexual temptation, to which he replied, while wearing a look of confusion, “I love how it makes me feel young again.”

She continued to look deeply into his eyes that made him feel an urgency to share with her how he was struggling with the sensation that half of him wanted to enjoy the feeling of something new, something exciting, but wanted it to be nothing more than a great sexual experience with the woman without a name just a label of a wife for a night. However the trusting, faithful side of him knew that he had a true love that had been left behind in the home they made together and she was his wife for life.

She told him that she sensed great destruction if he chose the path of poison and that keeping such feelings and tempting interactions, concealed from his wife, would cause him and those around him great distress.

It was at that point he went from intrigued to irritate and he laughed at her as his eyes revealed the label of crazy that he had now placed upon her. He believed his wife had put this woman up to this.

She glared at him and without hesitation confronted him and his labeling and shared with him that if his wishes were to feel like a young man of 25 again and wanted to take comfort in the arms of another - she could grant his wishes and he could have it all for a price and his wife would never find out unless he told her the truth.

When asked what the price would be, still believing she was a drunken wacko preaching magical powers that were only there because of the alcohol that made her brain believe this. She slowly reached up to the top of his head and pulled one strand of his hair from his scalp. She placed the hair and its root into a silk scarf in her hand and sprinkled a sparkling powder over it as she spoke in a deep throaty chant. She then folded the scarf into what looked like a powder puff and then asked him again if his wishes really were to feel like a young man of 25 again and engage in an intense sexual affair that his wife would never find out about - unless he told her the truth.

 

He sat there waiting for some candid camera gotcha moment to suddenly spring out of nowhere with his wife leading the charge yelling – Surprise!

He turned to her and said in a smart ass voice, trying to call her bluff, “Sure why not, you only live once.” It wasn’t until after he said yes and many months later, did he learn the price he would pay for his choice to be wanted by women, and enjoy other women and his wife would never know or be hurt by his needs to feel young again.

Her eyes began to glow blinding neon green, blood bubbled in the palm of her hand where the sack of hair and powder were. She stood up and as she chanted in a mysterious language and padded the sack on his head until she had touched every piece of hair. He could feel the electric energy of his youthful ness that he once had in the years of his mid-twenties fill every ounce of his body. Without any hesitation, and never asking what the price would be, he went over to the curvaceous blond, whispered in her ear, and then they both left the building.  He left his friends at the bar and a belief that if she was a true witch with the powers to make a person’s desires come true, then he was going to try his new wish out on the curvaceous blond that had been ready to take their touching to another level. 

As they stood outside the bar, he told his new wife for a night that he needed to call home and check on his mother, that was staying with him on a vacation, and that she would needed to stay quiet so that his mother wouldn’t be upset that he chose to be with a lady friend instead of going home.  In his youthful mind he was certain that it was important that he tell his wife what he thought she’d want to hear, and he wasn’t about to let her learn any different. It was then he decided that his story would be that he was going to stay with one of the guys, because he had had too much to drink and didn’t want to take a chance on driving. It sounded truthful – she’d believe him.

The phone rang three times before his wife realized that the ringing was real, not in the dream she was having after falling asleep three hours earlier on the couch.

“Hello?”

“Hi Hon, your right . . . guys night out was just want I needed.” He found it hard to hide the tone in his voice that he was about to lie to his one true love.

“So I bet you all watched football and drank beer?” she said with excitement that she got to hear his voice that didn’t sound stressed or tired.

His lady friend pressed herself against him kissing his neck as she ran her hands up and down his body while he spoke on the phone. He did his best to Take long controlled breaths as he replied, “Yes, but as for the beer, I think I over did it so I’m going to stay here at one of the guys places.” His hair line across his temples began to itch.

“Hon, we only live a couple miles away . . . I can call you a cab or come and get you if you’d like.”

“No, that’s OK. I’m fine and we’re going to play some cards, maybe I could win some cash for a nice dinner out, just you and I.  How does that sound?” The itching began to feel hot and he wondered if maybe he was having an allergic reaction to the crazy voodoo wannabe’s flour head chant.

“Are you sure you’re OK? You didn’t get yourself in trouble? You are starting to sound funny.”

“Just having fun,” his voice squeaked out in a high pitch. “Gotta go, were leaving now. Love ya.”

In a sweet trusting and tired voice she replied, “I love you too. Sweet dreams.”

***

To his new found pleasure goddess music was a must when wanting good sex to be great sex. She hit the button on the room radio and was thrilled to think that it was one of her favorite groups – Depeche Mode, performing her favorite song to get down and dirty to, “Strange Love.” The hotel room was a mess. Clothes, underwear, shoes, pillows, sheets and blankets etc., were strewn everywhere as the curvaceous blonde took him over and over again in every square inch of the hotel room – including on their balcony where she wanted to introduce him to the intense sexual feeling that builds inside of a person when mixed with the notion of being caught having getting it on in public. He never once thought of his life as a father, a husband with a mortgage and his family or the wife that had always loved and trusted him for more than a decade. All he could feel was the sexual connect of their bodies becoming one and the ability to go on and on for hours and hours until their hot passionate love making would have them drop with sheer exhaustion to allow them to rest until the next waking round.  

The next morning when he had awaken, he sat up on the bed and looked around the room at the mess that he and his unknown partner had made. A note written on hotel stationary, on the pillow next to him read, “You little devil - thanks for a great night of great sex. If you're ever in the mood to screw around my numbers on the back of this note.”

He got himself up and quickly did his best to straighten the room. Took a shower to wash the smell of the other woman off him, got dressed and out the door he went. As he sat in the car, he toyed with the idea of whether to call his wife or just show up. He decided that a stop at the market for a dozen roses and a bear claw would surprise her – he was right.

She was so happy to see him when he walked into the house and even more excited when she had seen the gifts he had with him. As he turned around to sit down and take off his boots, his wife noticed something on temple of his head.

“Hon? What’s the grayish spot?” she said as she leaned in closer to get a better look. “Well, well, you’ve got few gray hairs on that head of yours, but don’t worry sweetness; I’ve got a whole head full, but that’s why I made friends with a hair dresser that can take that gray away and keep me looking good for you. It’s just part of the deal in life when we start to get old and slow down.”

“What deal?” he said shocked, while wondering what would make her think that it was all part of a deal.

“Maybe next time you and your lady of the night will go to bed earlier.” She remarked with a witty sound of humor in her voice. “Lying causes stress and will also make your hair gray.” Then she laughed and went into the kitchen to heat up the bear claw and get another cup of coffee.

He sat in the chair, battling the good and bad of whether to confess to his wife about what he had done the night before or too just pretend it never happened.

As days grew into weeks, he found himself doing all he could to cover up what had happened in the bar and grill that night. The problem he had was controlling the occasional itch that he would get with each time he spoke about that night, but as bad as it would get, he’d change his shampoo’s and get frequent haircuts hoping it would stop. A first he found it easy to say and do all he could to keep the truth from being told. He did his best to keep his wife happy both in and out of the bedroom, yet his youthful feeling desires were become more than his wife wanted and many a nights he would go to bed frustrated for the need for sexual pleasure. His friends, that had also seen him leave that night swore to never tell his wife that he had spent the night with another woman.

He had kept the unknown woman’s note at work and decided that it was time to give her a call. They agreed that one Friday he would get out of work early and they would meet at the Holiday Inn Express that was just on the other side of town. When the day had finally come for their sexual encounter again, he noticed something he had not before. She didn’t appear to be as firm and curvaceous as he had remembered. And her hair appeared dull and dry. Her Maybe she was sick or coming down with something. Her explanation was that she was getting older and noticed over the past month she was going gray, so she decided it was time to color her hair if she wanted to stay blonde. She still had the want to have sex with him, but was content with just keeping the moment simple and slow, no crazy positions, and doing it once was great - twice without a break was pushing it. He just couldn’t understand what had happened to his wild woman of the night. He decided then, it would be the last time they would get together, but for some reason he just couldn’t get himself to throw her number away, as for him it was like a memento that reminded him of a time when

By late spring of the follow year, he had noticed that his wife was looking more youthful, had more energy, she had the look that she had when they had first met. The most puzzling was she was not going out have her hair done anymore to cover up the gray, while his head was now almost 65% covered in gray hair and his bones began to feel arthritic and his energy level kept going down. He was only 47, but that youthful feeling that he enjoyed for those few short weeks, had gone from wild and wonderful to the extreme opposite that made him feel his was twice as old as he was.  

“Maybe if I went back to the Voodoo woman at the bar, she’d grant me another dose of young stud energy.” He though as he made his way home from work.

When he arrived home, he was shocked to find his wife learning a twerking move that their younger daughters were making fun of after watching the MTV awards. He couldn’t help but notice how youthful his wife looked and how soft and silky her hair appeared. He could feel himself falling in love all over again with her.

“Certainly she had had her hair done, you can’t go from gray to your natural hair color – it just isn’t possible.” he pondered.

“Hey Dad!” exclaimed their oldest daughter, “Did mom tell you that big brother is in town and he’s taking us to the bar and grill on the docks downtown for dinner tonight.”

He stood still for a moment remembering what had happened to him, and knew this could be his once chance to get a second dose of youth.

***

As they sat at a table just a few short feet from the bar, he noticed that the bartender was trying to get his attention.

“Excuse me for a moment everyone, I need to get some water.”

He walked up to the bar and did his best to scan the room without bring any attention upon him and trigger his family to questioning what his odd behavior was all about.

“Hey man, how are you doing? You never came back, did you and that hot blonde get to make it or what?” he said sounding more and more like a gossip greedy bartender.

“Ah, no, we didn’t.”

 “Wow, another lie. I think I saw another gray hair add itself to you head. I hear that she looks like shit and looks like she is 100 years old.  Did you do what the Voodoo Witch told you to do? Or did you choose option B. which was - you and anyone else would pay dearly for any lies about what happened?”

“No she never said what the payment was.”

“She tried to, but you had only one thing on the brain and one thing only. She told me after you left that she hoped when the first signs of the gray hair began to show, you would come back to learn what you could do to reverse it.”

“You mean this old man looking hair and face and the aching bones would have stayed the way she made me that night - sexually energized and young again?”

“Yeah, but you were thinking with the wrong head. I bet if I had only once guess, that women at the table with you with the beautiful skin and long silky red hair is your wife?”

“What about it?”

“If you had been honest with how you were feeling about aging, you wouldn’t be in your rapidly aging old man body your in now.” The bartender said with a laugh, “All you had to do was tell your wife the truth AND you could have been a stud whose wife would never find out about you getting it on with a new lady every night and with the energy you had when you left here – you could have accomplished it.”

“So if I just start telling the truth, then all will reverse?” He said hopeful.

“No. your honesty should have been from the very start. You would have told your wife that some Voodoo witch doctor cast a spell on your and that you would be forever young feeling and youthful with an endless sex drive. All you had to say was that. Then anything more your wife would have laughed away as a joking passive aggressive personality. But you lied from the start, so now everyone, including yourself, involved in the lies you told to hide the truth suffer the same fate as you and your once hot wife for a night.

“So what now?” he questioned, as the reality of the choices that he had made were the reasons behind his gray hair and body pain. “We would now become an old men and women faster than I would have if I had never met that mysterious witch woman that night?”

“You know man . . . I have to tell you one other thing.  Because of your all the big lies, little lies and occasional white lies you told your wife – she will forever reap the benefits of what you once had – youthfulness, great skin, healthy body and bones, and she knows the truth about who and what you have done, but does not react as she know you have given her a greater gift – the ability to be seen by others and as a loving beautiful wife that once had a truth worthy, honest husband that couldn’t handle the idea of getting older and made a deal with the devil to give up his family for the life of a youthful man of 25 with a great body at the age you are now - 47 right? What a screw up . . . this would have been for as long as you live.

“So how do you know so much about my life?” he said in a smart ass tone of voice.

“My wife and I own this bar.”

“Yeah and?”

“Didn’t you read the name on the door?”

“NO!”

“Devils Bar and Grill – My wife does the Voodoo and the devil takes the souls when the magic is over.”

“If she’s the Voodoo witch then who is the Devil? I don’t seem him.” He said in disbelief of what was being told to him.

“You know, I never introduced myself to you the last time you were here. Please accept my sincere apologies, the name is Lou. S. Cifer, owner and operator of this crazy join.”

“Wow your name sounds like Lucifer the fallen angel, when you say it fast.”

The bartender smiled his devilish grin.

_______________________________________________________________________

 

Music referenced in this story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iypUpv9xelg

 Oingo Boingo - It's a dead man's party

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WLWVICpP9I

Depeche Mode - Strange Love