2015 Already? How Time Flies.

 

 

Photo: By Stacey Bolin 8/2012

Greetings Everyone and welcome to the year 2015. Like riding a bike, it's great to be writing again. What a busy year it has been for my family and I. Our lives have been on this huge rollercoaster with the typical ups and downs in careers, health, finances, dreams and plans, but even when things feel like they can't get any worse or can't get any better, each New Year still arrives right on schedule and a feeling of another chance and a sense of new beginnings begin to appear on the horizon.  For my family and I, this is the year that I'd like to call - Opening the door when positive opportunity knocks.

Notice the word underlined...Positive. As we lived our lives in 2014, we couldn't help but notice how many struggles had overcome friends and family members, that even if I could extend out my hand and offer an ear, I just felt I couldn't do enough to make a positive change. I'm sure that I am not the only person who has ever felt that way, but it made me realize how thankful I am to have the many special people in my life, especially a husband who loves and cares for me, my two boys who are growing into young men - faster than the speed of light and to know that I am still in remission. So this year my vow is to steer clear of the negative darkness that works hard to shadow over happiness and stay positive.

 

While hanging out on Facebook, a friend of mine posted a quote that I don't even know if she realizes it is one of many favorites.

 

"It is what it is...not what it should have been and not what it could have been. It is what it is". 

 

There are days when I forget the peace within this quote and that the world can not be fixed or changed in one day. I'd like to look at life in a new perspective and knowing that I can not go back to the past, or even change the past or change people within it, but simply understand - "It is what it is." 

 

So my love for taking photographs, and feeling inspired by a friend I created this with the hopes that as people sit down for their morning coffee, or just talking to someone on your phone, or looking to give a unique gift, someone will be touched that this was made from the heart with the hopes to turn a frown upside down. You can check out my link.

https://teechip.com/beepositive#id=1001&c=014695


Until tomorrow - have a wonderful day and smile - it has the ability to be addictive and also makes people wonder what your up to.

 

"Visitor In a Dream"

"Visitor in a Dream" - A true story

By Stacey L. Bolin

2/4/2013
Instrumental Musical Piece used to help me find the words to this story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9XeaGxHKgE&list=RDRKaeeU5kqzs

 

She had been experiencing many dreamless nights since her husband's best friend had passed away three months ago. She worried what this meant, because as far back as she could remember, all her life she had been touched by the dreams that she walked though in her sleep - both good ones and bad ones. Often times many of these vivid experiences would leave her with the inability to know the difference between being awake or living in a twilight world of images. On one particular night late in January of 2014, a visitor, in her dreams, and one she had anticipate would come to her over the past few months, finally arrived as she slept while she lay wrapped in the arms of her husband and the softness of their cotton sheets. She slowly walked around in the life inside her dream, listening to the sounds of seagulls above and enjoying the warmth from a sun that gave her the belief that she was in California. Images of people all walking by, all wearing smiles upon their faces gave the impression all was well - she felt safe.  He stood tall and walked up to her with his unique stride, unlike the last time she had seen him lying motionless on his bed in his home, in early July, as the effect of his disease continued to consume him until his dying day. Soon, he stood before her - she knew him and wanted so much to throw her arms around him and welcome him back.

He began to circle around her and moved gracefully - angelic. A voice, his voice, as strong and as clear as life had once given him so many years ago, spoke of a day that was important and where she would find it in a box of photos that had been sheltered from life's light. She knew of the day that he spoke of, but not a word did she speak. Soon a feeling of deep seeded sorrow began to grow inside her, as she knew that when he left, she would never see him again, as it would be the same as all the visitors that have passed on, and chose to come back to see her one last time - they knew she could help them connect with the ones they left behind. She looked upon him, wanting so much to touch him and bring him back to the life and the family that ached for his return. As his image slowly moved away, she found her words and promised him that she would find the picture and would get it to his wife.

Her eyes opened to the darkness of her bedroom - he was gone but the sorrow still lingered. She lay there quietly, not to disturb her husband as he slept peacefully. Tears rolled down her face to pool upon her pillow. The reality of death had been lost within her dream world where all lived on, healthy and free from the pain of disease and illness they had been battling. The alarm clock began to play its morning wake up tune as the coffee pot in the kitchen signaled, with several beeps, that a much needed morning jolt of caffeine was ready and waiting. She lay still in the bed as she watched her husband slowly rise and begin his morning routine. She wanted to tell him about his best friend coming to visit her in her dreams - but again couldn't find a voice without tears to be shed – she’d wait until later in the day.

She chose to set her sorrow aside and got up and helped her family prepare for their day at work and school, while silently reliving the dream. As she saw the last of her family off to begin their day, she stood in the sounds of silence of their home, still coping with the disbelief that their friend was no longer among them. The sorrow began to grow again as she knew that she needed to face her fears and find the moment in time that he spoke of.

Since the passing of their friend in November, she battled one emotion after another. She missed him tremendously as he had occasionally offered her guidance to understand the mind of a front line solider and how to connect with the man in her life and understand the continued battle of war that was still being fought within their minds. His words had been silenced until now and she knew that he would not have asked her to do something, if it wasn't for the best of reasons.

She feared the pictures that she would stumble upon - images of her children as they grew though the years, the smiles of her grandparents that had passed away some years ago, and the youthful look of her and her husband on their wedding day. 

Her hands shook as a deeper reality of her fears came forward forcing her to find an unknown strength to reach for the photo albums and photos boxes that had been tucked away because of her fears that she told nobody about. In a huge clear box that had been put away into the darkness of a closet, was her entire life on Kodak film that marked numerous life moments in a past that she missed and would live over and over again, if given the ability to go back in time.  Her heart cried out as she touched each picture and relieved each memory - she was finally facing her fears of saying goodbye to each day that has passed though the hands of time, the fear of getting older and seeing the difference in her hair color that was now turning gray, the fear of her parents passing away, the fear of never getting to hold her babies like she did when she brought them into the world, the fear of them moving away and not missing her,  the fear of her guilt for not telling a person how much she loved and appreciated them, before they passed away and fearing the death of her relationship knowing that one day, her and the love of her life  would be separated to pass through heaven's gate and the endless wonder if they would ever meet again?

"God please help me,” was all she could say as she continued through the photos one by one. Without warning immediately she found herself back on a warm California day in December of 1992. The picture she had been asked to find was now in her grasp. A moment captured in time and was what the visitor in her dream now looked like once again. She laughed and cried as the memories of that day flooded her mind, heart, and soul. She now understood why it was important for her to get this photo to his wife. She also knew why he asked her to find it. It wasn't just for him and his wife, it was also for her and her husband as well.

 

Knottsberry Farm - California 92

 

 ***

The four of us knew what this day meant, as the military was going to transfer my husband and I to a different duty station and his best friend and his wife would remain in California. We knew that there was a good chance we might never see one another again.  What we took from this day was something nobody could ever take from us both in life and in death - A bond of brothers in arms, friendships that would last forever, and that we had all found our love of a lifetime.

 

Finding this picture, helped me realize that he is watching over his family ,and ours, and that when our time comes - he'll be waiting to greet us at heavens gate, but for now, we must enjoy our time on this massive earth, don't fear the past, don't dwell in the past, learn from it and enjoy what you have done in your life and keep moving forward doing what you do to the best of your ability -  as you only get once chance to make it the best it can be.

"The Floater" - Spooky Ghost Stories

12 Days until Halloween

Happy Friday ya'll! I have got to send a bit shout out to all that read my story yesterday. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your positive replies. I am so humbled. I have to be honest - the more I write these spooky tales, the more jumpy I get. You should see me when the house phone rings. TO FUNNY! I guess I should turn some lights on and turn the spooky music off when I write. Plus I am sure the glow of the computer screen in the dark doesn't help. The story I am working on for next week is what really has me spooked. With the full moon in just a few days and Halloween around the corner it has me thinking that maybe I should wear my garlic and a few rounds of silver bullets - course the silver bullets won't help because I don't own a gun. Smile.

Well tonight is the opening night to our Halloween Happening Haunted Barn and Hay Ride. I know that I should be getting my costume ready, and I have motherly things to get done as well today, but for some reason I felt that I must get today’s blog out early. So I have chosen another one of those stories that you the reader must figure out - did it really happen or is it a work of fiction.  It will be a short story, but still just as spooky. Have a wonderful start to your weekend and I'll blog you later.

"The Floater"
By Stacey L. Bolin

Music to accompany the story.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7umg6ZrIEH8&feature=related

The full moon had cast a pale light bestowing life to the shadows of the trees and the tall grasses in the field that surround the little shingled single story house that sat upon the hill.  Everyone is fast asleep while the night wind dances with the fallen leaves on the ground and blows them past her partially open window. The smell of the autumn air is a comfort to her as she sleeps and she dreams and how she can dream, oh to live in the world of all those wonderful things in an eight year old mind. The sound of the swooshing leaves brings her from a blissful sleep to the darkness of the night world that she is afraid off. The room feels deathly cold and her attention becomes drawn to the desk at the foot of her bed. A blurry glow is looking for something. Her throat becomes tight with fear. She tries to yell out to her mother, but her words are frozen inside her. Her eyes grow wide as the blur opens the top drawer to her desk. The blurry glow begins to take form that makes her believe it is her mother - she is no longer afraid.

"Mom why are you in my desk?" Her innocent voice asks.

The image of a woman with piercing eyes - not her mother - rises up at the foot of her bed, glowing brighter and larger and becomes very angry.

She doesn't want to look at it anymore. She puts her pillow over her head and quickly yanks the covers over her entire body.  She shakes with an icy panic-stricken chill rushing throughout her body; she is frightened by what she has seen. An forceful adrenaline wants her body to dart out of the room screaming for help - but her body will not listen to her mind as she lays entombed with fear. She detests the feeling of the covers over her head - she is claustrophobic, but she fears the glow more. She lay motionless for the rest of the night.

The next morning she cautiously approaches the desk - the drawer is open. She goes out into the kitchen to ask her mother why was she going through her desk late last night, to which her mother’s reply’s - "I wasn't."

She is bound with the chilling fear once more.

Generational Welfare - Is this Something to be Proud of??

W

ell good morning blogger world. Hope this finds you all waking up to another morning in a nice warm bed in a home surrounded by the ones you love. I'm sitting here this morning, looking around my home, at the things we have acquired over the years. All of which was gathered when we moved to Maryland from Alaska. Living in base housing life was very different and I didn't think of it much, well not until I hear some ladies behind me in a Safeway yesterday discussing their futures. It's funny, as soon as I diverted my listening to the conversation behind me, I could hear my family saying, "Why do you do that? Why do you have to hear what every one is saying?" Well to be honest, it makes for good and sometimes bad, story ideas. Life is where I get all of my ideas. Television is too boring these days, with the exception of the newest made for television series, "The Hatfield’s and McCoy’s". If you don't know the story, or know parts of it, it's a must see. Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton are just two of some familiar actors, that many of us knew growing up in the 80's and 90's, that make this very interesting series, I guess there is something that brings it more to light when you recognize the people. Warning it is a bit graphic.

Clearly my topic for today, is not about a new television series, however it is an old and continuous, well – problem for all. As I stood in the Safeway waiting to cash out, three ladies of multiple nationalities, one pregnant, one holding a child and the other constantly worried if her hair looked good, were chatting about what life was going to be like after High School. Yes, I said it, High School. Holy Crap! I graduated in the 80's, and you didn't even mention babies let alone get pregnant without knowing the hellfire that your family and friends would cast down on you. But if by chance you found yourself to be one of the unfortunate ladies that found yourself in a situation because you got caught in the moment, it usually wasn't known about until you bumped into them pushing a baby stroller two years later and find yourself feeling like a total fool when you think the baby with them, is a brother or sister.  Yes, I've been there - Remember people I was a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

These three young ladies went on to discuss their application for public housing and how excited they were that Friday was "WIC" day. If some of you are not familiar with WIC, then let me share this information with you before we go on. WIC is a federally-funded health and nutrition program for women, infants, and children. WIC helps families by providing checks for buying healthy supplemental foods from WIC-authorized vendors, nutrition education, and help finding health care and other community services. Participants must meet income guidelines and be pregnant women, new mothers, infants or children under age five. I will say that this is a wonderful program as I once had to take part in this when I was diagnoses in 1994 with cancer when I was 7 months pregnant with my oldest son. Being in the military, you'd be surprise how many families have to take part in some of these programs due to the limited income and the inability to work two jobs due to your obligation with Uncle Sam. However, any federally funded assistance is supposed to be limited and for us, as soon as our income exceeded the allotted income amount or our son turned five, we would be removed from the program. I am happy to say, our income finally exceeded the allotted amount. Wow, I can hear some of you now "It was free, why would you make more and loose it?"  NO FEDERALLY FUNDED PROGRAMS ARE FREE! Take a look around you; many of those nameless faces are paying for the so-called "FREE" to you programs. For us, we personally felt a sense of guilt and embarrassment for having to ask for assistance and did all we could to get off the program. Now I totally get that there are reasons far beyond me as to why people are on various funded programs - I get it and I understand. Every situation and circumstance is different and there are people who are genuinely in need of some support.

But what about those out in the world, who abuse these programs, you know the ones who repeatedly have children so their checks can keep coming in and boast about their free ride in society. I’d say that is the first perfect example and don’t get all worked up I know you’ve thought it too, but just kept it to yourself.   I stop and wonder, “Where is the pride? Where is the pride in owning your own home? A sense of knowing, that you may have struggled through life, but you have something to call your very own and something to show where your money goes.”

Now we lived in base housing when we were both stationed in Adak, Alaska, but trust me, even though the only thing you paid for was your cable bill and food, your check seriously reflected it too. When I finally made Third Class and my husband was a Third Class as well, between the two of us we were only bringing in approximately 29,000 a year. NO JOKE! So imagine my shock when we arrived in Annapolis, Maryland, I'm 7 months pregnant and the list for base housing is a two year wait. You know what that means...now you have to pay rent out in town. Now the military would offer an additional housing allowance but an extra $500.00 a month didn’t put a dent in a $1,800 rent payment so we opted to buy a home and our mortgage was about $800.00.  Still $200.00 short, and now we have acquired additional expenses to boot - electric, homeowners insurance, water, taxes, and then an unplanned illness to accompany our pregnancy. Wow, honestly I have not thought about all of this in sometime and it makes me shudder to think - how the hell did we get this far and not lose our home? I know why – My husband is a hard worker and will work his fingers to the bones to take care of our family. I can only hope that he truly understands how grateful the boys and I are to have him in our lives and how much we love him and appreciate what he does for us.

So, as I continued listening to these three young ladies, one of them remarked about her stint in public housing and harbored a sense of pride with an attitude that she expected she would get her place too. Her reason as to why they would approve her application, her family has lived there more than forty years and both her grandmother and mother grew up there. Yet what saddened me the most was her next comment that if she didn’t get her place she was going to get in someone’s face because three generations have lived there. (If I recall correctly, I remember hearing this type of situation being called – Generational Welfare, when I attended a community safety meeting in Baltimore, many years ago). She didn’t have any money except for the welfare checks she would be getting soon, and she didn’t know who the father was of her child. WOW, if I had closed my eyes, I would swear I was watching LMN’s Real Life Thursday movies.

What happened to the days when people brought children into this world after graduating high school and were married? Now young men and women are out there engaged in sexual activity starting at very young ages. As a teenager, life is hard enough dealing with hormones, and changes both outside and within the body, but then try adding sex into the picture and all the emotions that are stirred up in the mind. Why am I trying to speak on behalf of some of our teenagers? Well not only was I a teen many years ago let me add a bit more to my story - here is a shocker that even my own mother doesn’t know about. I was thirteen when I engaged in my first sexual experience. My initial reaction – I felt nothing, no love, no connection, no wild tingles, I felt no emotional connection except used. When you are that age, you are not mature enough to even realize what you’re supposed to feel, but it was after that one moment, that I was not interest in anything sexual until my senior year in High School and during my dating years after graduation, but again – I always found myself thinking, "OK this is what It looked like in books and magazines, but why can't I feel a deep connecting love? Where is the earth rocking, take your breath away experience?" I was only feeling infatuation as I would try to keep convincing myself I was so in love with this guy and that guy…but I wasn’t in love with them at all. I often feared that maybe I was broken or had put way too much emphasis on what sex was. It was in early January of 1992, I remember a conversation while at work one day in Adak, that the men and the women got into one of these kinds of conversations in the paint shop. They all agreed that when your in love with someone one the sexual feeling becomes magical and for some life altering.  Wow, life altering, could you imagine? I couldn't until I met my husband that I learned the difference between sex and life altering. (I can’t believe it I’m blushing - TOO FUNNY!) The best way to describe the feeling – Complete love, a connection so deep that it makes you want to cry, a bond of togetherness and trust, and trust me when I say, once you have felt that connection, you’ll do everything in your power to protect it.

After hearing yesterday’s conversation, it was very clear that these young ladies looked at their future as more as a golden road of getting to stay home while at the same collect a monetary reward for each child they produce that was intertwined with numerous passing men, or heck even one man, in their lives without a connection of a deep love and self-worth. Their main goal was not what college they got accepted into, or that they had been hired for a summer position to make some extra money. Their happiness and smiles were because they had applied to get into public housing and if they did get in, they could start collecting their welfare checks. I guess their goals were already in the works, the girls that where mom's/soon to be mom's, were already getting their monthly WIC Checks, free medical, and dental while living with mom who already had her place in public housing.  Honestly, I actually started to feel bad, but people chose their life paths. It doesn't matter how I feel or what I believe, I can only hope that I can make a positive difference in the lives of people and young people that I meet, while at the same time I must also understand that what I chose to do in my life does not mean that it will always benefit others. The only thing I can hope for is that what experiences I choose to share with them could help them make choices through their own journey called life to reach what ever goal or dream they strive for or just choosing to live a happy life. I guess what I don't understand is how can someone be so excited to be looked at as the next to continue on path already walked by those before them. Did they ever have dreams? And if they did, what changed their thinking? I don't know the whole story on these three ladies, for all I know what they spoke about was a temporary situation, but still brought forth so many thoughts in the already filled eclectic mind of mine.

So I guess my question that plagues me now, is how to we get our young society of soon to be graduates to want to strive for those goals and dreams that they think are just out of one’s reach? Doesn’t the old saying still stand true that - Half the fun of accomplishing a goal or dream is getting there? Why do we feel that in this life, it is better just to settle or take a path frequently traveled? Wouldn't life be more adventurous if you chose to carve out your own destiny to get to touch a dream, even if for just a single second? I know there are many out there who dream big and keep that drive going, trust me, I am one of those people but I have my failures too and I choose to get back up and try a new way. Yes I get embarrassed when I am told I did it wrong, but how do we learn and find out how to change things if we don’t have life’s stumbling blocks to challenge the strength and drive within us all. If you chose not to do something in your life because of fear of failure, that can be overcome. If you chose not to do something out of sheer laziness, you are your own worst nightmare.

My final words, of hopefully, wisdom: “Toot your own horn, dare to be different and be able to say at least you are trying and giving it your all.” Thanks again to all of you and your continue support and words of wisdom to help me touch my dream of being an accomplised writer with a hope to have my words become movies on day. Until next time - blogger ya later.

Can a dream really come true - twice? The Final Saga

So the time had finally come. Being my first attempt at trying to sell my book to Hollywood, I was more calm that maybe I should have been. I just don’t know how to explain the feeling. When I walked in the room, there were 7 tables in a horseshoe type layout in a room that looked identical to the photograph of the room, from yesterday’s blog.  Table #1, a female with red curly hair and a green and gold strip scarf. She greeted me like we were long lost college roommates. I immediately felt comfortable, read my pitch and she went on to ask me the ever warned about, never answer no matter what question. If you had to pick someone to play you, who would it be?  Now I had only spoken two three people about who I thought (PERSONALITY WISE) would be an excellent actress to play my part – Charlize Theron, but the last thing I was going to do was say a name. So what does one do when the person you are speaking too, insists on a name – YOU STILL DON’T PROVIDE ONE! That is a big red “NO-NO” in the business. So now, the executive decided to give her opinion and what does she say – Charlize Theron. “SAY WHAT!?” 

OK, so now I am in total belief that I am being scammed 100%, or on some kind of “Punked” show. No way would she know what I was thinking. All I could do was laugh and at the same time went on full guard mode,  but I had to remember, there was a great probability that none of these people have ever heard about my book, let alone picked it up and read it. I smiled and simply answered as many of the executives questions as I could and when the time was up  I moved on to the next executive. To describe this process in two words, just think of - Speed Dating. Another gentleman asked what genre is was. This was though, as it could be listed on many types such as; romance, mystery, religion, medical, cancer survival. I kept saying it was multi-genre, but he wanted one answer and I think I blurted our Medical thriller. I should have said “Multiple. You know, as in orgasm.” Yep he would have really remember me then. Wink, you know what they say…sex sells.

 I sensed that all of them understood what I was trying to portray. I guess I’d know in a few days if any of them liked it.  With all of the executives in the room, overall, it was like they had all been old friends and that is just how I acted with them. I was myself. I didn’t get into the theatrics of crying or into the drama overload. I was just me. If they liked me and what my story was about, they’ll ask for my manuscript when the time comes, if not, then it’s just the No’s I need to get to the most important part of my journey – when someone finally takes a chance on my writing and my story and says – Yes.  

I had a total of fourteen minutes, two minutes for each table, to wow them. What I had come to do, was now done. All that was left was the crying or the cheering that maybe I could move to the next step.  I walked out of the room with no regrets. No need fretting over something that was in their hands now, and I told myself before I ever walked in the door, “Hollywood is filled with produces, who’s to say these executives will be the ones, maybe they are not even connected with any productions company, maybe they were paid actors to play the part to make me believe my dreams could come true. As you can see, my duel personality is still in a fight with itself. Half of me say’s to believe that this is all really happening and the other half says, question, question, question. When I left the room, I was overjoyed to see my husband and Mr. Ogorek enjoying a nice leisurely chat about Nebraska football and what happens when you wear the wrong color to a red game. The three of us chatted briefly and then my husband and I decided to go back to our room to get changed for the closing remarks that would bring “Pitch Fest Las Vegas 2012” to a close later that evening. I had decided that since I had been in dresses and wearing very uncomfortable shoes, because they matched, I wanted something still casually dressy with a comfortable heel. Wow that's an oxy-moron - comfortable heels. Ha-ha to funny.  If I only knew what was in store for my husband and I after the event, I would have opted to bring my exercise shoes.

I call this outfit - my closing ceremony clothes

My husband and I sat at one of the table and as things wrapped up, our eyes started to twinkle - PARTY TIME! Now the event ended sharply at 6:30 that Saturday night and we were on the monorail by 6:45 heading to the Bellaigo to watch their Dancing water show. We were so disappointed to find out that the 7:00 show that was just a small sampling of what the real show had in store. You see, we were unaware that the big show was scheduled for 8:00 that night, not 7:00. Well guess it's just another thing to add our to-do list when we go back out that way this summer with family.

We decided to take in the Vegas strip on foot and boy did we see some sights. Many were stunning in the dusky of a soon to be evening sky. Other sights, well folks, all I can ask is that you trust me when I say we saw a lot of things, good and bad. The good were the lights of each hotel so uniquely different from others, with each having their own way of enticing you to come through their doors and enjoy a night on the town. 

There was one area where tall slender women stood with their high feathered headdresses on with tight sheer body suits covering their toned bodies and high heels that made them look like heeled ballerina slippers. My husband nearly fell into a patron walking in front of him when one of these beauties caught his eye. For myself I found it humorous to see him fall over himself like a teen age boy looking at a Playboy magazine for the first time.  See him loose control of his thoughts  - funny. Seeing his face when I noticed and informed him that those very tall women were in fact, I'm trying to contain my laughter, hard to type, belly hurting, OK I'll type it, men in drag - PRICELESS. His excitement of being eyed by a beautiful "WOMAN," was quickly lost. Like how I emphasized the word man in the word woman. He he he.  Feeling guilty that I had spoiled his fun, I knew exactly how to cheer him up and gets his pride back with four magic words – “Let’s go to - Hooters?" He turned and gave me a sheepish grin as the twinkle quickly returned in his eyes. Our walk immediately felt more like a sprint in my heels. As we moved together, hand in hand, we quickly made our way up the strip to "Hooters" casino and resort, with only one pit stop along the way because I was in dire need of BLISTER first-aid. He sat on a flowerbed wall and I went into one of the gift shops to find Band-Aids. I had assumed he was going to just sit outside and wait, so understand my extreme surprise when I turned around and he was standing face to face with me. He had informed me that once again, someone had come up to him, sat down and began to share their life troubles with him. I think he must have been a confessional priest in another life.

I got my blisters fixed and off we went. It was like being in a Cavalry, a bugle had sounded and then the words – CHARGE!  I can’t believe I am about to say this, but I was so happy when I saw the word “HOOTERS” across the street in front of us. You could see his sheer excitement. Now it is no secret that my husband is a boob man, but seriously this casino was nothing like the commercials or how the movies make it appear. This place felt rather dumpy. The actual “Hooters” restaurant was way too confined and too much lighting.  Oh fella’s I’m hearing you chomping at the bit, you want to know about the boobs and babes in the place.  Hold your horses I’m getting to that. Ladies, your probably wondering why I am so casual in talking about my husband being a boob man. So let me say this for the record. He can look at all the boobs he wants, but the minute another woman makes her boobs available to him for some personal time, I'll have something to say about it. OK, moving on. Where was I, oh, yeah...Let’s just say my “hooters” were bigger than the girls walking around getting drinks for the patrons of their casino. I should have applied – NOT! Ha-ha. My husband just sat at a penny slot machine looking as if he has just lost every bit of money he had. When the women came up to get us drinks…they were flirting with me more than him. What’s up with that? We sat and had a couple drinks as we played about $20.00 in slots – and lost it all. On the flip – it was in this casino that we ate at the Mad Onion. One word to describe it – Delicious! I had the prime rib and it was out of this world. My hubby decided that something from the breakfast menu would be what tickled his fancy.

We were very somber when the Sunday morning sunlight began to filter into our room. This would be the last day to see the things we wanted to see and do the things we wanted to do before returning our car at 4:00 that afternoon.  I had gotten to see an old friend that I knew in my middle school days. It was great to spend time with her and her family. Thirty years and many states had come between us, but the moment I saw her, that gap was instantly gone. We enjoyed a great brunch and believe it or not, we spent another four hours just standing in the parking lot talking about her upcoming wedding and the quirks of men and raising boys into young men. It was great to get caught up and I was sad to say good-bye, but with the help of Facebook we remain connected.

The time had come and we headed off to return our beautiful Mustang on wheels. But you know me, how could I let this moment go without getting some great shots of our final drive.

It was hard to see the mountain to the west and not want to just forget about things and drive to the California coast to watch the sunset.  California was the place where I found my life, or should I say, when it really began.  It was my platform that put me where I am right now.  I was feeling proud that I had followed through with publishing my book and the ultimate reason why I had a story to tell in the first place was doing his best "Tom Cruise - Days of Thunder" impression as we zipped down the highway to the rental car facility. I couldn't help but smile as I pondered that all of these precious memories became a reality because of a dream about my sexy military cowboy man twenty years ago.

So, I hear you all wondering what happened with my book pitch. Well as Mr. Chait, Mr. Kosberg and Mr. Ogorek stressed over and over again, this process takes time and patience. It was about a week ago that I finally received my reviews back. This is what I had been waiting for. I was disappointed as I read each review one by one, saying it was not what they were looking for at this time. I became more and more upset until I came up a review by executive #6. In the comments it read: I want to read this book because it's a great story that is true. It's inspirational and romantic. At the bottom the most important box had been checked: Please have Author Solutions, send a copy of your book for further consideration.  WAAA WHOOO!!! One out of nine, not bad, I'll take that and pray that it will be a working partnership one day soon.

To all of you out there, always know that if you Dream it, Believe in it, you can Achieve it. Have a great weekend and blog you Monday.

Could a Dream Come True - Twice? Part Three

My first realization, that I was really in Las Vegas, was when our plane touched down. The realization as to why I was there set in as I walked through the MGM Grand hallway into the convention center all dressed in my finery with the person who was the whole reason for my story in the first place - my sweetheart, my best friend, my husband, by my side.  The walls were adorned with dozens of large pictures of all the great names that had graced this place. Some of the photographs that I recall were, Sting, Robin Williams, Aerosmith, Jimmy Buffet, Carrie Underwood and so many more. It all felt surreal as a piece of music entered my thoughts of how I was feeling at that very moment. I have put the link to the music below so you can feel what I was feeling.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-DpLqrNUIg&feature=related. The sounds of the people, the lights, the music and the rush of the unknown, danced vivaciously around me – yet I found my focus to remain professional and of all else – Calm.

As my husband and I arrived at the registration location at about 5:10pm. Immediately I was asked to review and sign a contact that gave the agency authorization to utilize any video footage that may be captured during the event, which I did agree too. I was given a name tag and a folder that housed all of my scheduled event details and then, who knows why, maybe to sweeten the deal, there were two boxes of candy, which my husband enjoyed tremendously. Last thing I needed was to suffer a sugar overload as I tried to deal with the rush of adrenaline that pretty much kept its grips on me until the closing of the event. It was like being a kid again, sitting up on Christmas Eve waiting with the wonderment if you would see Santa Claus. Hoping that he was real and if he was real what gift would he leave you.  My concerns, in all of this craziness – Would someone really want to make my story a movie?

As I finished signing in, we were directed to the location of the meet and greet cocktail party. I was calm again, when I turn and my husband stood before me with one of his very special smiles. It was then I knew deep down, even though he doesn’t like to stand out or get dressed up with all kinds of bling, he was happy to be there and was proud that we had come this far as I had seen that smile many times through-out the years when we were faced and overcame many challenges in our lives and our marriage.

I didn’t want to be rude and take pictures,
 so here is a picture of the room the day after.
We used it as a pitch practice room the next day.

As we crested the top of the escalator to the party, you could hear the sounds of low toned conversations and laughter. “Here you go lady” I thought. “You can do this!” As my husband and I walked through the doors, a very elegant setting met our eyes. Candles dressed the long black table clothes that were draped over tall standing tables and tables with chairs. To either side of the room were to bars that were stocked with wine and top shelf liquor. I will say that my mind had gone blank when the bartender asked what we wanted. My husband went with his favorite, Bud Light. For me, I had initially asked for an amaretto sour, but then changed my mind last minute and decided on a screwdriver – delicious! We chose to stand around one of the intimate type bar tables. I was too nervous to sit. I had done my research, and watched the door, as if I was on an undercover mission. When the men of the hour would walk into the room, I’d know exactly who they were – and I did.  In the middle of the room, a large stage and a large oak podium with the MGM Grand Lion insignia crested in gold on the front of it.  For the back drop, it couldn’t have gotten any grander. 

Now try to imagine the above photograph during an evening setting. Soft mood lighting shown down from the ceiling above, candlelit tables and then the floor to ceiling windows with the view of the MGM Grand Resort and its magnificent illumination shining through. Waiters in black uniforms as sophisticated as a tuxedo, carried silver platters of hour dorves while they walked around the room serving people. I was in an aura of amazement. Shortly after 6:00 PM, the men of the hour walked into the room. Actor - Marcus Chait, King of Pitch - Robert Kosberg and VP Marketing Director of Author Solutions - Keith Ogorek, who was the person I worked with on Saturday to enhance my pitch before meeting with the executives. The three of them and the associates that, I assume, helped to put this event together, mingled in a small cliquish circle of importance. They eventually branched out and made their way around the room, and the bar. Smile. Hey, that is the first place I went when I entered the room. Guess a drink in my hand kept my thoughts at bay? Nah. A few minutes before the introductions began my husband’s phone rang. You could see his look of utter shock and a face that said, "Who the Hell is calling me?"Adak, and suddenly to hear a voice that helped me through the worst of times with my command, immediately took my thoughts right back to the island. It was a Supervisor and fellow Seabee from the Adak, Public Works paint shop that I had worked with for about a year. He had heard about my current book-to-screen endeavor and was calling to wish me luck. Again, trying to be polite so that people would stop staring at me, I stayed professional and thanked him for the well wishes, but that it wasn’t a good time to talk and we’d chat again soon. The eyes of the room returned to other subjects when I ended my call and turned the phone off.

My husband could tell that I had been knocked off my foundation for a moment and with a supportive voice told me not to fret and get back in the game. That it wasn’t a mystical sign or some phenomenon of what things good or bad could happen over the weekend.  That people really do care and want to see this be just as successful as we do and that I needed to stop letting the past keep me from moving forward. Yes, there are still days when the battle to marry my husband, even though we were from two different commands on a remote island in the Bering Sea and fighting an illness in the military will haunt me and the more I try to block the bad, I understand that good things and good people were and always will be a part of our lives. Standing there I felt like I was in a glass box screaming and nobody could hear me. I guess that is a possible P.T.S.D. symptom, that doctors casually suggest that maybe I should seek attention for, shining through. I was overwhelmed, scared and filled with an extreme amount of self-doubt. Like clock work, when I started to sense a twinge of fear, I began to play my ever popular game of – What if, in my head. My thoughts “What if I mess up my pitch? What if I forget what to say? What if…and then it happened.  I hear the sweetest voice whisper into my ear, “you’ve seen this in your dreams Stacey, and it’s your time to shine. What are you so afraid of? You can do this. ” My breath was gone, but I could breath. The room was empty, but it was full.  I was alone, but people were around me. “Nana” I mouthed softly as I felt a ghostly hand placed upon my forearm and then it was gone. In that moment, I became grounded and knew why I was there and no matter how long the journey would be before me, I am following a dream to go from three important men in my life, to four - My husband of now 20 years, my two sons and a little golden man named Oscar.  I love you Nana and I miss you so much.

Now what was supposed to be a meet and greet, for 90 minutes, turned into a multi-mass of authors all with the same topic – When would they start getting paid. Even one gentleman was brazen enough to express that he had paid a lot of money to attend this event, how much more would he have to pay before his book started paying him, to which Mr. Orgorek replied “You shouldn’t have to pay anything. If people want you, it shouldn’t cost you anything,” which was a comment that was an immediate red flag in my husband’s mind, but kept his comments to himself for a private discussion between the both of us later. For me, I didn't feel that this was the time and place for anyone to question sales, money, success, stardom or what have you. How shocked we were when what they had planned for this social was clearly going over. How rude. Didn’t people understand that was what the Saturday morning presentation, with Mr. Kosberg, was all about? Now please don’t take offense to what I write, with 100 or so at this particular part of the two day event, it must have been about a dozen or so that kept this train of many questions steaming onward. My husband and I, had gotten all of this information before we had even left for Vegas. I personally knew exactly what the scheduled and times were and where I was to be on what day. I am anal about details and fearing this event may or may not be on the up and up, I grilled the agents at the publishing company for all details including the guest speakers so that I do as much research as I could before we left. Even with knowing the layout of the event, I had planned for the evening to run a little past its time when I purchased dinner and show tickets in the New York, New York, casino weeks in advance. We decided that since we had purchased the dinner and show tickets for later that night, and they were nonrefundable, 7:30, whether things were wrapped up or not, we were out of there. Finally one of the guest speakers remarked that this could all be addressed in the morning and wished everyone a great evening. Mr. Chait and Mr. Kosberg were immediately inundated with a line full of endless questioning. I felt bad for them, even though I am sure they would say – It’s all part of the business.  I decided that I would not cater to this, I walked ahead of people in the lines, I extended my hand to both men individually and took a professional approach by thanking them for taking time out of their busy schedules to help assist with our dreams of our stories becoming more. They smiled, guess it was nice to just have someone generally thankful they were there and be content with that. However, my feeling on inside - I was trilled to know that I was going on a romantic date with my hunky husband to Gallagher’s Steakhouse and then to see the Vegas show Zumanity.

http://www.vegas.com/video/shows/zumanity/full_index.html

On Saturday morning at 8:00 AM the event started with a three hour presentation given by Mr. Kosberg,  then we would go upstairs to pitch our book ideas to either Mr. Chait, Mr. Kosberg or Mr. Ogorek, then we would be let go for an hour lunch.  I was in the group with Mr. Ogorek.  Now I had already gotten my pitch written long before I ever arrived in Las Vegas, and trust me when I say how speechless I was to find that of the fifty people in my group, about a dozen were not fully prepared. But again, that was the reason behind this gathering before meeting with the executive. I found myself going against my original pitch, which I think could have hurt me. What I knew by memorization was now changed in areas that I needed to read from a page when I finally got my chance to Pitch my story.  The Original pitch read as follows and I know this by heart:

Pitch Copy right: Feb 26, 2012. All rights reserved.

Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves 

By: Stacey L. Bolin

A shy naive girl from picturesque New England follow’s a premonition about a mysterious military man in a red van needing her help. She is enthralled into a military life that forces her to face a war like none other. Her war is the choice between fighting the government or her cancer.  Her choice – both! With her new found G.I. Jane Strength, she triumphs over tragedy while unlocking the mystery to her premonition and finds her love of a lifetime.

***

When I sat before Mr. Ogorek in the center of the room, it was a sheer Deja Vu moment all over again. I had seen this, I had sat here, I had seen him before, but only in my dreams. How strange I felt, and yet, I was comforted.  Without hesitation, I began. I spoke not only to him, but to the on lookers in the room as well, making eye contact with anyone willing to hear me. To close my pitch I had added, "The best part of the whole story is that I am now 18 years remission and I still have and still deeply in love with my mystery man and he still has his red van." When I was done, I was at a loss for words. As my husband would say with joy - SHE IS SILENCED! IT'S A MIRACLE! Smile. Mr. Ogorek simply remarked, “No need to worry about being emotional, we've had a lot of that here today. That's what happens when you talking about a true story and you’re the person who went through the hardships in the story. From my professional stand point, there is nothing to change with your pitch. Leave it just the way it is.” He went on to ask about the man in the red van, to which I had remarked, that my mystery man is here with me today, but he’s in a red mustang driving the Las Vegas Blvd. I forgot we opted for the blue Mustang when the agent said the red gets a lot of attention from the Vegas police, especially with a California tag on it.

Mr. Ogorek and the others in the room chuckled. He went on to ask if my husband could come back and join him for lunch as he wanted to hear more about the 1964 Ford Falcon 4 on the tree, red van.  As soon as our group was done, I quickly got on the phone to update my hubby with the great news and the request for his presence at lunch – which was not open to the public or guest of the individuals attending the “Pitch fest” event. For some reason, when I called him, I could not hear him very well, but he could hear me fine. I told him how things went and that he was asked to join us for lunch, but if he couldn’t make it, I would certainly understand and I meant that most sincerely and I was so happy that he was off having fun, not stuck in the hotel watching TV. I could not hear a reply and figured he was out on an exploratory adventure somewhere in Vegas. I was kind of right. He was to off to explore – the "Hooters" Casino across the street and that when I called he was in a blocked signal area just leaving the MGM Grand. He had called me earlier in the day driving the strip and went to Pawn Stars. I just assumed he was still on the road with the bad signal he had. Don’t worry fella’s, both he and I got to go to Hooters Saturday night, but don’t get so excited there is more to this tale later in the story.

I felt my breath steal away when I came down the stairs and there my sexy cowboy man stood. I felt bad that  he chose to give up his plans to go to Hooters, to come and eat a, not so great, lunch. My husband is a steak and potato's man, if you have to look up the name of something before you eat it, most likely, he's NOT going to try it let alone, going to eat it. If he does, he'll pretend to enjoy it all while wondering how much he can hold in his mouth before excusing himself to spit it out in the restroom. For myself, I do pretty good with all kinds of foot presentations, but even this one was a bit to be desired. My only thought, "It came from the MGM Grand Buffet." How relieved he was when I told him, "if you don't like it, please don't eat it. Trust me, I understand". Now because everyone wanted Mr. Ogoreks attention to improve their pitch, the request for a lunch get together never took place, but they met up later in the day when I went in to deliver my pitch. 

Finally the time had come, the most important time of the whole trip - 3:05PM. There I sat with seven other hopefuls waiting for their one big break, before I knew it the door opened and a voice said, "We are ready to see you all now." I took a big breath and said to everyone in the line, "Good Luck Everyone. Here we go."  To be Continued....

Like any writer, we all save the best part for last. I'm sure you didn't expect a part four and were surprised to see the words, To be Continued...Join me tomorrow for the Final Chapter of "Could a Dream Come True - Twice?" and find out for yourselves what happens. Did I get a movie offer? Will it be a Movie of the Week? Did anyone like my pitch? And the question on most men's minds..."What Happened at Hooters?" Thanks for reading and I'll blog you tomorrow. :)

COULD A DREAM COME TRUE TWICE? Part One

Now I must ask you and those reading today – Have you ever experienced a strong and intense moment of Deja Vu? For me, this is where my thoughts constantly rushed to in my head, during our trip last month. Words people spoke, smells in the air, the sounds that engulfed me with images as we visited many sights. Snap shots in my subconscious began to reveal answers resembling a treasure map of clues, but to what? I still didn’t know. It felt like a time in my life when I slept and experienced vivid dreams of moments that provided me with the realization that I was blessed with an open door that gazed upon my life and my future, yet it was only at this very time did I dare to walk through. Honestly, I think I had always dared to walk through, but I feared the outcome, or maybe I didn’t understand the true meanings of these dreams, from year’s back, because of insecurities, or even my lack maturity and ability to fully understand. Whatever the reason then, would not hinder me now.

***

When I began writing on that early Monday morning, I was cruising at an altitude of 28,000 and climbing, on a southwest plane heading east bound from Las Vegas. Just over my left shoulder, my eyes gaze down upon the beauty of the Rocky Mountains below my feet.  Already a much anticipate trip is over and we must return home. My husband sleeps quietly beside me as I reach inside to find the ability to put into words an endeavor that whether it puts my story on the silver screen or a television screen, I am humbled to have been given the opportunity to touch a dream and share the experience with my true love.

It was hard to believe how fast time had flown by. It was also hard to believe that on Thursday March 22, 2012, only five days earlier, I found myself aimlessly fidgeting in a southwest terminal at BWI with my husband by my side, filled with wonder, hope, and fear and prayed the journey that I was embarking on would be one that would change everything I know about my life and the lives of my husband and two sons.  Technically it was a business trip, which I truly hope would be oiled, massaged and kissed with precious moment that my husband and I could share together when time was not work related.

 The foremost reason for my travels to Vegas and its city of lights – Pitch my story to several executives in the movie and television industry.  My first ah-ha moment was the dissipating cloud cover 10,000 feet below as our flight began its decent west bound in Las Vegas.  The grandest of views that revealed itself, The Grand Canyon and its hues of deep reds, copper and brown earthy tones. It was an amazing sight that appeared as if it had been meticulously carved into the landscape. All this majestic beauty created by various water levels over hundreds of years and we had the best view in the house. OK, airplane.

Our plan touched down and taxied toward our gate at about 3:05pm pacific time. I peered out of my window seat upon the city of Las Vegas. I envisioned that it was standing proudly almost like the city had been waiting upon my husband and me to return to continue with a journey that we had begun together twenty years ago. Immediately I began to recognize many of the iconic landmark resorts – Mandalay Bay, New York, New York, Tropicana, Luxor and the most vivid and important location for this trip – the MGM Grand.

This is where our lives could possibly change – forever.   Immediately I thought “Do I have what it takes to break into television or the movie business with my written words? Would they connect with my story? Could I convey, in my two minute pitch, the rollercoaster journey that lay between the covers of my book? Would they feel my passion to assist with the birth of a long waited dream into the world of reality? I just don’t know.”

We made our way to our rental car location and without any delay we found ourselves feeling like teenagers again when we put the top down to our 2012 blue convertible mustang and headed for the Las Vegas strip. Our plan was to check into our hotel, dropped our things off, get changed and then do whatever the night let us think up. My husband and I stole as many precious moments together as we could. The biggest moment began with us cruising down the highway. It was rather unfortunate that our car had been governed at 80 mph. Who does that to such a sexy and muscular piece of automotive machinery? It’s would be the same putting concrete blocks on Secretariats legs and telling him to win the Triple Crown. I say…let that pony run!

We were rushed with the warm desert pre-dusk night air with the wind swirling around our heads as we passed a brand new red Ferrari heading in the same direction. Our destination was a place that only my husband had seen as a small child and that I had only seen on movies, television and on a film projector when I attended Memorial Middle School in Laconia, New Hampshire.  For fear of someone learning how long ago that was…I shall keep those middle school dates under lock and key. Smile. I was nervous and excited and filled with an empowering feeling of being on top of the world. Then to be living this surreal moment alongside my husband, I felt I was dreaming. There was nothing that was going to top the feeling that I was about to experience.  To know I was really there – Priceless, and the only way to describe was stood before my eyes – Global.

To be continued…