Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Sunday, May 8, 2016

"Is It illegal to take my Cat's Valium? It is one of those days. Special Segment.

"Is It illegal to take my Cat's Valium?
It is one of those days.
Special Segment.
Written By: Stacey L. Bolin
Copyright 5/8/2016



I'm going to start out as wildly cautious as possible - Oxymoron? I'm thinking so.  
I'd be lying if I said the last few days have been pure bliss that had been filled with glittery winged unicorns burping candy rainbows and fluffy white clouds chucking pure gold coins from the sky. If only.
Because the past several days have been filled with endless anxiety and drama, then simmered nicely with love and affection, and topped with spontaneous excitement and surprises - this stuff just can't be written in a night. But I'll have you know, and you know me well by now, the truth is the best way to tell any story of reality that sometimes I can't help but wonder - Did God have a script, for me, already written on the number of different life challenges he was going to throw my way or did the Devil get a hold of my biography and rip out some pages without replacing them.
If there was ever a time in my life that I was wishing I was my cat - now is that time. Thank God for great friends, a loving family and my husband and boys. They can tell, what this mom is about to do, has been a long time coming - ROAD TRIP. What I'd like to do, is get these glorious mind numbing events down on paper, because seriously, I don't even believe it myself when I try to write how my last few days in the state of Maryland are seriously changing my life forever. So much so, before we begin our journey west, I am planning a quick trip within the month of May and I'm going back to my roots, and no not my real hair color, I'm headed back to New England to find the person I know I still am.
I will be keeping a journal and ask for a few days of patience, as I piece together why my blog title is perfect to describe this crazy ride I'm on.  I will be sharing my stories - as well as pictures I capture along the way - with you my readers. Hold on tight, you about to board one Hell of a ride and just when you think you can handle it - WOOSH! HOLD ON TIGHT!
Until then - Blog ya later.

Monday, December 23, 2013

"Gold Rings"


This is the mantel in our dining room that displays
over 50 Crystal Snowflakes from my collection.




Greetings One and All - I hope this post finds everyone Happy and Healthy this Holiday Season.
 
I'm sorry that I have not been available for my story writing, as some of you know I have an online store that keeps me very busy this time of year - and I love it. I have also been working on one story that has become very sentimental to me that needed the time to develop  vs. writing many stories for the entire month of November and December. It is a piece near and dear to my heart and is a true story.
 
I hope you join me for its debut on Christmas Eve 2013.  



"Gold Rings"
 
By: Stacey L. Bolin

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

"Life's Bump in the Road"

Well hello everyone. First I'd like to say, yes I am still alive, no need to think I'd stopped writing for good. Everyone needs a breather and for me a breather was a must. Have had some unexpected life events happening here and I  want to be completely honest. I personally feel that to be able to bring you stories and/or talk about just general topics off the top of my mind, I need to be in the right frame of mind.  I know I promised you a big grand story for the summer, but when an unexpected accident happened that shook my family completely off their feet two weeks ago, I not only lost my ability to write...I also lost my focus that resulted in my being placed on a leave of absence from a part-time job that I really do enjoy. So my plan is to take my family on a much needed vacation, or as many of you also call it - a holiday, which actually I adore calling it that, as it just sounds so refreshing.
 
I have continued to go to my Vet Center for my weekly therapy visits and in the process of trying to get myself and my family back on a positive track...I picked up a new hobby. Below are some pictures of what I call "The Color of Therapy". What I discovered about myself is that I know how to paint more than just snowmen on Christmas ornaments.
 
"The Proposal" Copyright 7/2013
Artist: Stacey L. Bolin
Inspiration
I made this for my in-laws 50th Wedding Anniversary.
The location is Bear Lake in Estes Park Colorado.
 It was here with a view called Longpeaks -
He asked for her hand in marriage.
 I wanted to give them a gift that symbolized
their loving years together. I hope that they like it.


"The Eyes" Copyright 6/2013
Artist: Stacey L. Bolin
Inspiration
The endless want for this hot, hazy, humid, summer
to bring the chilly days of fall and the
excitement of a spooky hayride
through the woods during Halloween.


"The Path" Copyright 6/2013
Artist: Stacey L. Bolin
Inspiration
The book that I am writing with the hopes
 that it is on shelves by Halloween this year & a Bob Ross
video that I saw on you-tube on painting techniques.
 
My plans are to be on Holiday for the next 10 days. When I return I look forward to getting back into the writing saddle, wrangle my crazy thriller story onto this blog, and get ta' sharing the same excitement I had when I wrote it. In the meantime, keep those e-mails coming, with your story ideas, topics, oh and we must not forget, fall and Halloween are just around the corner. (Rubbing my hands together with excitement while an evil Halloween grin would like to find it's place on my lips). Send me pictures of your pumpkin plans and what you plan to do that is unique to get ready for all hallows eve at  throughthebarrackswindow2011@hotmail.com Until next time - Blog ya later.
 
 

Monday, May 20, 2013

"The Yogi Bear Gamer or The Attention Whore/Nag - Which label would you chose?"

 
 
 
 
My quote of the day: You never know how long you have in this thing called life and time is a precious thing that you can never get back, so use it wisely.
 
It’s overcast on this early Monday morning in Maryland, USA. Why add the USA to my sentence? I thought you’d never ask. I'm about to share with you why. Today I am writing in response to an email that I had received a few days ago from a family in Canada who wanted me to write about a topic, which I found I could relate to. Now, not wanting to bring attention onto them and that they have also ask to remain anonymous, I have changed their names, so let’s see, I’ll call them Lance and Veronica - yeah, that sounds different. So let’s begin.
I had received an email from Veronica's husband Lance, wanting to understand why his wife gets upset that he and his family are overly outgoing. Yes, I will say, I was confused by that statement and why would he send this to me? But you know how you hear people say, there is always reason things happen, well maybe that is what was happening here - a pending life lesson waiting give me a slap on the back of the head. 
When he provided me with more detail, I began to understand. Veronica and Lance have six children, four boys’ two girls ranging in ages 20 to 9. They all have numerous interests, while at the same time; appreciate doing many things together. Lance is very outgoing, and likes to do for others as he gets great joy out of seeing people happy and he and his kids do their part to help out all they can, but he's finding the more joy he and the kids get from assisting others the more his wife is agitated. So I asked him another question, “Does this help for others conflict with private family time and helping out at home?” to which he replied, “Yes, has she written you too?
Well immediately I felt connected to his want for answers. As you see, I understand both what Lance is feeling and what his wife is feeling, so honestly I can't take either side, and I can't tell them what is right and what is wrong, that it is their life choice but since Lance asked me, I will try to answer as a wife with a current situation that I am experiencing that somewhat resembles what he feels is becoming problematic in their home. I don't have six children, but I do have three boys if you include my husband. (smile). 
Recently our weekends have had my family anywhere but home and my husband had even commented in the past, more times than not, that we should all enjoy the winter weekends of boredom and quiet, as the spring, summer, and fall, will eat up out weekend time fast. I'm ok with his comment and always have been. We are a very active family who sticks together, especially when it comes to helping people. We have freely given ample amount of our time to volunteer for various events and organizations over the past eleven years. Again, let me state this for the record, I HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING THIS - until it interferes with progress and upkeep on our own home, which generally we have never run into, but we’ve never had a very important event taking place at our home in less than three weeks either, and we’ve had months to get ready, now we are down to days. 
Lately I feel I am constantly repeating myself and in turn, they view it as nagging or trying to seek out their attention in a negative way, and are not really understanding or seeing the bigger picture what is being asked of them.  Now I know I am not the only woman in the word that on occasion feels that her family has a way of engaging their selective hearing modes into the permanent block mom’s voice position - but I think I can safely say it probably hits a nerve in others just like it does in me when this happens. So Lance, here is my dilemma, and maybe it will in some way help you.
 
****
In three weeks we will have a house full of people for one son's16th birthday and the other son's graduation from High School. Am I nervous? – HELL YES AND THEN SOME! I’m stressing because our yard looks like we are auditioning to be the new "Sanford and Son's" sitcom, (see pictures below) but for some reason the men in our home feel it is vital to conduct their beautification skills anywhere but where it is needed the most – HOME! So when I ask them why they will put their skills to good use anywhere but home their reasons are, they like to help out when they can. Did anyone just hit a wall like I did? They have the ability to make things right and I have even offered to help, but unfortunately it appears it’s not that easy to take the same pride in their home, and if I asked more than once - instantly I’m labeled as the “Attention Whore” or “The Nagger”. Does it piss me off? – Your damn straight it does! I was brought up that the men did the yard work and the women took care of the inside business of the home. So yes, I will admit, I have become very resentful and the more they do elsewhere, the more I want no part of wanting my family elsewhere.
But I realized that way of thinking was so negative that it was placing a dark and tense cloud over my life and it was imperative that I needed to reanalyze why I would feel so hurt and why would they not understand my anguish towards their choices of using their talents elsewhere over home during a time when it's desperately needed. Weeks of frustrations are what I have learned to work through until it hit me. Everyone like recognition and praise - EVERYONE and my three boys, even though they deny it, live for it. Something about that stroke of the ego and being asked especially by women, other than me, will have these men moving mountains – all for a smile and an ounce praise that is dangled in front of them like a picnic basket in front of Yogi Bear.
So is it that when I give praise it is not appreciated because it is expected since I’m the mom/wife? Could it be that they don’t see that at times, they are the puppets on a string for the entertainment of others getting what they want by to giving out to many compliments?  Or is it that when I ask for assistance on projects at home, they feel that I am the type of person that does have the talent, strength and ability that I can do these projects on my own?
Then I noticed something as I watched one of my boys react to a need for help and I'm not saying which one, but suddenly a new theory in my mind emerged. I call it the "Damsel or Dude in Distress" theory. The description: When a person/s only reacts to the want to do something, if there is praise before the request. So for example say a person/s want you do to something they didn’t want to do, then they would drop a line like, "You are so good at painting, I can't thank you enough," that is soon followed by, "Oh can you help me with doing this or that or something." Now you might be the best painter in the world, and in your mind of minds, you’d love to believe it, but something about hearing it from someone else makes you feel good, and honestly who doesn’t feel good about a positive comment, I know I do, but lately I am seeing a strong pattern - the compliments are always followed by another want, that makes me start to question how talented or skilled I really am and feel people just want, want, want, even if they really do appreciate what I can do. I feel that it is a conditional praise that could compromise trust. In my head I hear, "You so good at that, but only if you help me." Now Lance, I'm not saying your wife is feeling this way, I don't even know her, I don't wear your shoes or hers and I could be so far from what you’re really asking.  If your situation is like ours, maybe she's feeling a bit like I am at the moment, we're talking about taking in the moment that makes us feel good about ourselves (praise, compliments, thanks)  our self-esteem starts to rise, and yes my ego inflates like balloon, then another request is immediately placed upon me that makes the compliment no longer genuine - POP! My ego balloon is gone. I'm sure I'm not making any sense, maybe I need to get off my soapbox.
So my next question, how many of you have found yourself caught up in a situation/s somewhat similar to this? I’ll raise my hand, and I’ll also raise my hand that I have said things to get people to do what they would otherwise not want to do. A perfect example of this tactic and when I recently used it, was trying to find my younger son’s car key. I knew immediately that my older son had something to do with its whereabouts’ but if I were to have asked, “Where did you put the key?” he would have never helped me find it. Instead I took a different approach since I’ve noticed how they respond to this type of mind game. My strategy was simple and this is what I said when I asked my older son to find the key that he had already denied knowing anything about when approached by his brother, “You are so good at finding things, and I’d really like to find that key so that we can get this car back together. Your brother has looked and looked, but he really needs a person with your skills to find things. Can you help us look?” Sure enough, it worked and not only did he get up and help look, but the friend he was sitting on the porch with, also got up and helped look. At first it was the same line, “I have no idea where the key is,” then suddenly he spots the key way on the top of a shelf that in order to see it, you needed to be standing on a stool. Needless to say, my theory was proven that day. I played a minor part of the Damsel in Distress – How sad is that? What hurt me was to know that if I had used my motherly skills and said, “I know you know where that key is, go get it,” he would have rolled his eyes, toned me out, and a negative exchange of words would have become heated. I like the last word game. *Wink* what parent doesn't.

***
In our town we have a business called the “Honeydo Handyman” guy, (No Joke) This guy has truck with that on it and has created a business doing the odd jobs around the house that the members of the home don't want to do. The things I am asking to be completed could be done in a matter of an hour or so, and what actually makes me feel proud, is that I know my family is thinking the way I am...They know I am talented, strong, and capable of completing these tasks on my own, but why should I have do these things on my own or call someone stranger to come to my home and complete these tasks we I have two strong teenage boys that can do this, and I shouldn’t have to pay them or bribe them with money to get it done. Years ago, kids helped their parents around the house - why is this day and age any different?




 
 
 
 
Wow, just posting these pictures has me ready to get out there and tackle this crap once and for all, but on the flip however, there may be someone who looks at it differently and would think, as a significant other or a strong teenager, wouldn't you rather help your loved one, vs. letting them get used to doing things on their own and/or calling upon some stranger? Think long and hard on the answer to this question - What could happen when a person discovers they "CAN-DO" on their own?
 
So Lance, on a softer side of myself that I like so much better that my "nagging" side, could be a simple solution. All I am asking  is the ones I love share their talents and assistance on the home front and I would just appreciate some of the free time my family does have during the day that they are spending elsewhere, to be spent on doing something for just for our family and not everyone else around the family. I'd like to be selfish and not share every moment of our free time - some here and some there is fine. I'm feeling Like a checkbook, you'd like to see more put into it, but sometimes the balance runs close to empty. The good point about doing things together whether home or afar, we are at least in the same area, that I'm closer than I was if I had stayed home and they went about their business, but I still find at times that I am shrouded in little moments of loneliness.  

I don’t know if I helped in anyway and I’m not saying that this could be the problem, but maybe it could shed a different light on your circumstances. I know at times I have felt like I was placed on the back burner, excluded, and their lives are moving on and I’m trying to do my best to run behind the bus, only catching it here and there.  I also feel that my guys have a hard time saying no, and people know and are spreading the word that is spreading their time thinner and thinner, which is hard to for me to stand back and watch, but I'm not heard when I express my feelings.
All in all go easy on her, remember she is human, when she hurts, she hurts deep, she goes to work outside of the home too, and from your email, it sounds like all she would like is to have you and your family’s attention/help more than two hours after work and a few hours on the morning on the weekends. You never know how long you have in this thing called life and time is a precious thing that you can never get back, so use it wisely. You may find as you’re off and going and doing in one direction, she may start growing and doing in a different direction. I wish you success in getting to the bottom of this life lesson and word of advice that I learned from my therapist - you can’t fail if you keep your conversation as "I" statements (I feel, I wish, I want to understand etc.) when trying to calmly discuss problems or concerns, instead of telling another person what they are doing wrong and make them feel like they are being attacked or blamed. I have tried the "I" approach on more than just my family and guess what the "I" have it and - it works. Who’d a thunk it? Smile.
****
Oh, and as for my dilemma, it has been resolved and that I didn't hire the Honeydo Handyman guy and I did tell my husband that I pondered the idea - he didn't sound overly thrilled and assured me that I was over thinking things.  I do, do that. I didn't however tell him that I love him and my boys with all that I have in my heart, that I could never call upon another to take their places, gotta keep them on their toes…….   and honestly I'd feel too guilty if I had. Everything works out if given the right amount of time.
 
Many thanks to my readers who continue reading my soapbox moments, as you have read before I have them now and then, but always feel better to get it out and when I look back I can't help but think at time... "Dang girl, you are such a fruit cake, what in heavens name where you thinking?" I also appreciate the emails, keep them coming. As some of you have learned, some topics I chose not to write about.  As flattered as I am, I am not qualified to offer clinical forms of advice. I'm just a simple girl trying to figure out who I am, where I have been, and where I am going in this wolf pack I call - Family. have a fantastic day. Blog ya later!
 
 
 
 
 
 


Friday, May 17, 2013

"The Experiment" The Final Saga

"The Experiment"
The Final Saga
By BU3 Ret. Stacey L. Bolin
 
 
 
 
 

Numerous onlookers began to crowd the area where the commotion was coming from, making it more and more difficult for Bill to see what was happening.


“Lori, you stay here, I want to see what’s going on.”
“Bill, I think you should just stay put until security gets here.”
“I’ll be fine, just wait here.”
As he walked closer to the counter, he could make out the topic that had grown into an extremely heated confrontation that was filled with a multitude of profanity that could have woven a rope to the moon and back – twice. From what he could gather the young lady working the counter had friended a guy on Facebook that was in a relationship with another young lady and it was that young lady that had shown up to express her dislikes about the newly established friendship. Bill was amazed, how could someone out of the blue be so confrontational without realizing the possible consequences of this type of behavior in such a public establishment. It’s one thing to have an argument within the walls of your own home, but to be so brazen as to come to a person’s place of work and flip out all because another girl had friended her boyfriend. It was a clear indication, that not only did he need to add another column to his experiment, but his point about social skills and how they were lacking more and more in the world, was becoming more evident since technology had found its place in life’s society.
Back and forth the two ladies argued about the accusations. It wasn’t until the young lady behind the counter pulled out her IPhone from her back pocket and proved her innocence, that she had not been the one who had friended anyone, in fact it was just the opposite. It had been the boyfriend who had been doing the friending, but when his girlfriend found out, and he denied what he had done, all hell broke loose.
The managers of the food counter where the confrontation took place were able to quickly dissolve the problem and get the crowd to disburse, but it didn’t come without consequences. Bill did his best to get closer to the conversation that was now taking place between the managers and the employee. He was shocked by what happened next.
The managers were explaining their policy that all cell phones, camera’s, IPod’s and anything else that was personal technology, was to be off and stowed away in an employee locker. That the employee had gone against the contact that they had signed stating they understood this policy and a first offense was the only offense, even if the phone was off, but because she had a cell phone in her possession while on the job, she had broken the policy that resulted in her immediate dismissal.
“THAT’S NOT FAIR! SHE CAME AT ME AND I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!” the employee screamed for all to hear. “This place is a joke!” and then went storming off.
Bill looked over his should at Lori.
“What’s going on?” Lori mouthed to him trying to get some inclination as to what was taking place, while in her mind she made a mental note to herself - make sure her daughters didn’t work at the mall. “Come back here.”
Bill went back over to the table to fill Lori in on what had transpired, but with Bill, she knew that the story was going to be told his way.
“So, what happened?” questioned Lori.
“It seems that there was quite the riff in bedrock. Wilma believed that Betty had been trying to pursue her man and friended him on the marble table, but when Wilma confronted Fred about this, Fred beat feet and took off to the gravel pit, never telling Wilma that he was the one doing the friending, so Wilma marched over to Betty’s with plans to have Dino attack her, but instead Wilma got to walk away Scott free and Betty lost her job at the brontosaurus burger.
“I know I’m going to regret this, but Bill, for some crazy ass reason I understood what you just said even if though you explained the situation as if I had just turned on the Flintstones, so either I am tried or my brain is fried, or it’s late and we need some closure on this experiment of yours - soon. Do you have everything you’re looking for?”
“Yes, I think I do, let’s go home and share our findings with our girls.”
“I hope you don’t mean tonight?” Lori exclaimed.
“Sure why not?”
“Because it’s late, I’m bloated from all the soda and fattening foods I have been eating for the past two hours and now I feel like the a Macy’s Day Balloon. The only thing that is missing is the right amount of rope and handlers to guide me back to the car. I’m also very tired, and on the verge of turning into - Oscar the Grouch. I think that is enough explaining…don’t make me go Mr. Slate on you.”
replied Bill in his best John Wayne voice “Ok, little lady you win this time, let’s fire up our gas pony and go back to the homestead.”
They got all their papers together and headed out the door. It was time to call it a night.
Bill wore a huge smile as he drove home. He was proud to know that he had done what he had set out to do. He had gathered enough information to sit down with his family and explain some life issues that were troubling him. He knew that with the way he had set his idea in motion and documented his findings, this would help him, help them understand his concern about the future not just for his daughters, but for society as a whole.

***
When Lori and Bill pulled into the yard, they were amazed by the number of lights that were on in the house.
“I figured the girls would already be in their rooms, doing whatever it is teenage girls do behind closed doors.”
“Are you kidding, they were going to wait this night out until we walk through that door. Wanna bet?” Lori said trying to smile over a yawn.
When they walked through the door, there sat their dog scooter with his dish in his mouth, to greet them.
“Doesn’t anyone but me, feed the dog in this house?” Bill called out in a witty voice.
Both girls came thundering down the stairs wearing looks of great concern.
“Did you hear what happened?” shouted Carmen, “It’s all over Facebook and Twitter!”
Bill and Lori looked at one another and then looked back at Carmen before Bill nonchalantly replied, “Depends on what you’re talking about.
“It’s not that big a deal,” said Nancy, trying to hold back her excitement, “Just some bitch got my best friend fired from her job because of something the bitch’s boyfriend did.”
“She isn’t a bitch Nancy! That girl got what was coming to her for trying to make a move on another girl’s boyfriend. What a slut!”
Lori shook her head in frustration with each cuss word that fell from her daughters lips and finally interjected, “How about we refrain from the negative name calling shall we girls?”
“You know, since the girls are so wide awake, how about you go upstairs and get some sleep. I think for me, this is a good a time as any to share with them what I learned tonight. I’d almost say that it’s perfect timing, wouldn’t you?”
“I guess I would agree if I only know what is was you were trying to find out.” Lori remarked while trying not to yawn, “But as much as I would love to know, I’m going to leave the long talks into the night, to the three of you. You can fill me in during breakfast. Oh and one other thing please make sure that Scooter here gets something to eat and a trip outside to relieve himself.”
“Sure thing mom,” both girls replied in unison.
“Good night sweetness,” bill said as he gave her a hug and a kiss on the lips, “I love you – sweet dreams.”
“I love you all too.”
As Lori made her way up the stairs, a great sense of guilt had overwhelmed her. She felt that she should be downstairs, but at the same time, her husband needed this time to be alone and to share with his daughters what has been on his mind all week long. That maybe he’d be more open if she was not in the room. She decided that she would not reveal that she had taken a place on the top of the stairs and leaned against the wall to hear what Bill and the girls were talking about.
You could hear the girls walking around putting chips, soda, and plates, on the table while Bill opened a can of dog food for scooter, before they all gathered around the table. He put all his papers and notes together so that as he spoke, he would be able to provide any documentation to possibly answer any questions that his daughters might ask him.
They finally all sat down and Bill began to speak.
“Well girls, I won’t say that this hasn’t been uneventful evening. It’s been anything but. As for the event that took place at the Mall, I saw what happened and I know the outcome.”
“This girl just…”
“Carmen, I said I know what happened and you don’t have all the facts.”
“Yes I do, my friends on Facebook…”
Bill immediately cut her off, “Carmen! Stop and listen to me, you need to learn to listen. You also need to learn that just because you see it posted on Facebook, it is not always so. 
“Dad, my friends were there, they saw it all.” She remarked in her bad attitude tone of voice.
“Really now, so your friends also saw that the girl at the food counter got fired for not following company policy about keeping her cell phone in her locker during working hours?”
“Whatever?” She replied with a huge roll of her eyes.
“That’s right; she wasn’t fired for standing up for herself verbally. She was fired for having her cell phone in her back pocket.”
Carmen and Nancy were rendered speechless.
“See what I mean about having the facts and having the right facts. It’s very important to understand that in this day and age people can put anything they want on a computer, factual or not. I worry that with everyone connected through technology we are losing life’s simpler moments, or what the youth of today would like to label as the old fashion ways, you know like writing a letter and mailing it with a stamp, or stopping by someone’s house and sitting together on the porch sipping some fine sweet tea and catching up on old times and new or better yet, being able to express yourselves through differences of opinion by sitting down together and having a one on one face to face conversation so that everyone can move forward and move past what might be bothering them. People don’t do that as much anymore and I beginning to think that I was the reason why my own daughters don’t appreciate simple living vs. life via the computer – I never educated you on what a simple lifestyle was like when I was growing up. I just figured that if I let you get this phone and that computer, you’d know what you were missing, but then I realized that how would you know what you’re missing if I don’t teach you these things and share my memories. Believe it or not, when I had to write a book report, I had to use a pen and write in cursive on a piece of essay paper,” both girls laughed, “You laugh now, but it’s true. Nancy when was the last time your pen wrote in your notebook?”
“I don’t Dad; I used my notepad computer and a dragon program to put my thought in order.”
“There’s point number one that I am trying to make. You are the generation of technology. Years ago, we would have never had believed that now you can speak out loud and a thing called a computer would type everything you say and correct the spelling and grammar as you went along. We had to know how to spell and do math in our heads. No you have computers and fancy calculators at the ready to do all your work.”
“Wow, I guess I never realized how so much as changed over the years. Dad, I’d love to see some pictures of what things were like when you were a young boy and want to know more about what you and your friends did.”
Bill smiled and was beaming with great joy as Lori sit sat at the top of the stairs and was doing her best to hold back her heartfelt tears.
“Sure Nancy, I’d love to share that with you and with Carmen. I also wanted to share with you what my experiment was all about.
“How to elude the police when you’re not being chased,” Nancy said with a big cheesy grin.
“Ha-ha but no. I wanted to see how many young men and ladies in their late teens and early twenties were hooked on some form of technology and how much or how little social skills they had. What I discovered was alarming. For example; even though your friend was fired for having her cell phone in her back pocket. Five other’s at that same work location had their phones or IPhones with them as well. A couple of them had them hidden in various locations and I would catch those willing to take a risk on getting caught, by taking quick glances at them over the course of two hours. But don’t think I am just picking on that one location, I observed this problem in all the locations, and generally it was the women who were guilty of this. As for the men, they were more into flirting when a nice looking lady walked by or ordered at their food location and would even go as far as making a taster tray, just so they could get out from behind the counter and get closer to the ladies doing their shopping and getting a bite to eat. Some were radicals as they tried to gain the attention of the opposite sex, while others were more the secret squirrel types.”
Carmen began to laugh, “You mean like you dad?”
“Sure, like me.” He grinned.
You could see a light was beginning to shine over Nancy’s head as she paused a moment and then said, “so what you’re trying to say dad, is that your feeling guilty that maybe we don’t have the social skills that you wish the world used to have, because we can’t live without our computers and I-something’s?”
Bill dropped his head and softly replied, “Yes girls, I have felt like I have let you down for a long time and that I can’t get back the time that I have lost.”
“Dad, the past is the past, you can’t go back to it and you can’t live a life of would a, could a, should a’s. It will drive you crazy. We just through since you didn’t really get mad at us for using our phones and computer all the time, then you were OK with it.”
“Nancy, how’d you get so smart?”
“I don’t know, maybe because I study and get good grades in school” she replied as she through a look at her sister as if her commented was intended to hurt her.
“So all writing, and making columns, and going to the mall to conduct an experiment, this was all because you were trying to find a way to help us appreciate life before and after technology and how people need to learn to socialize face to face vs. via the Internet?”
“Yes, I guess you could say it that way. I just miss the days of sitting down at a table, like we are doing now, and sharing thoughts and ideas as a family or if you’re with friends. I never see any of your gal pals over here much to just hang out with you both.”
“That’s because we are on Facebook and all chat at the same time, vs. all the girls coming over here, because then we would have to feed them and like mom said, if we can’t remember to feed scooter, how could we remember to feed our guests.” Carmen winked.
“Wow, I guess I should have given you both more credit that you are more aware of life and its importance.  I am so glad that you both took the time to get away from your worlds behind your bedroom doors to talk with me tonight. I really feel better.”
“I have a great idea Dad, how about we plan to do this after dinner every day. We’ll sit and talk and catch each other up on what we each did that day, and who knows, maybe Carmen will realize she can live 8 hours without her phone on her hip, so that she could secure some type of employment. Hey Carmen, I hear there a job opening at the Mall.”
“NO!” Screamed Lori still perched at the top of the stairs.
“Wow, mom’s still up, guess that means she heard everything. So I guess it’s time to call it a night. Both of you come over here and give me a hug good night.”
Both girls got up and wrapped their arms around Bill and told them how grateful they were to have him as their dad and how much he really had taught them, even if he felt he had let them down. To them their dad and done everything in their lives, but let them down. That Bill and Lori were great parents and they were happy to have them to teach them the facts of life and preparing for the future.

“Ok, let’s hit the hay, tomorrows another day and it’s getting here fast.”
Bill and the girls put things away and turned off the light downstairs. How surprised they were when they came up the stairs and found Lori sound asleep at the top of them. Bill hugged the girls once again before they went into their rooms and closed the doors. Bill knelt down and whispered into Lori’s ear.
“Hey sweetness, let’s go to bed.”
She held out her hand and with both their efforts she stood up and they both went into the bedroom to call it a night.
***
As the house was quite once again you could hear just the sounds of the over sized clock on the living room wall, ticking the evening hours away while outside in the upstairs hallway centered a perfect distance between all three bedrooms sat scooter ever so quietly with his dog dish in his mouth.

 


This is what was in my head as I was typing the segment when the character Bill was referring to the Flintstones. Enjoy 
 


Wednesday, May 1, 2013

"The Experiment" Part I


It was dinner around the table as usual, in home of Bill and Lori Keebler and their two daughters, Nancy 15, and her older sister Carmen, who had just turn 19. Bill and Lori always found it very interesting that every night like clockwork, their girls would get carried away with their timely banter, bickering and bitching on various topics that included - but were not limited to, who was more beautiful, who had more friends, who had more guy friends, and who made the most money - a topic that Nancy loved to rub in her sister’s face.
Nancy was always spearheading some plan or idea to generate money into what she liked to call her “Soon to be a million” account.  She held down many odd jobs that included, babysitting, dog walking, minor sewing and selling potted flowers that she would grow in a small area in the garage over the winter months, and would sell them to family, friends and neighbors during the spring planting season.  She clearly was the Donald Trump, of the family and if there was a nickel to be made, she’d be the first to figure out how, and then make it happen. 
Carmen on the other hand, was clearly one that was destine to be in the movies and there wasn’t a day that didn’t go by that she was either a part of, had been a part of, or was about to be a part of the latest Facebook school girl drama and end up on the twitter bus to hell. She never had a dime to her name, and when she did, she would find a way to get rid of it fast.
Bill always remarked that if it wasn’t for her acting skills, he honestly believed that she was never going to have a job, or at least one that lasted more than three days - which was usually the time span before the imaginary stress in her mind would have her believing that she was over qualified for the job and that people were just stupid.  Her replies to Bills remarks would always result in the same way night after night - roll of her eyes and a stern flip of her long auburn locks of curly hair over her shoulder she’d reply, “Whatever Dad!”

It was at this moment an idea had presented itself in Bills mind, but was he on the right path? You see, Bill and Lori were always so amazed at how their daughters, who have grown up in the same house hold, under the same daily routines with the same expectations, and having basically the same interests, viewed the importance of having a job like trying to merge motor oil with milk.  Where Nancy understood that being financially independent was an important part of life, Carmen honestly believed that things in life were owed to her, and that she could never understand why nobody could see that she was clearly manager material and would never lower herself to start at the bottom of any job.

Thus type of thinking, set the wheels in motion for Bill to try and figure out once and for all, was this mind set something he and Lori had created all these years, or was it just this generation, and with that “The Experiment” was born.

When the girls had excused themselves from the table and his wife went downstairs to do a load of laundry, his thought ravished brain began to morph his visions onto the blank pages of notebook paper he had taken out of Carmen’s book bag.  He continued to sit at the table intently drawing pages of charts and graphs all with columns with ample space for quality note taking. When his wife had returned to the dining room, she was amazed at the amount of work that had gone into his idea, but she feared asking what it was, like a mother being asked by a two year old, “Can you guess what this is?”  You know it’s a picture of something, but fear having to ask and putting their self-esteem at risk. She sat down and watched without question as he muttered and stewed over his creation.

“I’ve done it!” he shouted out loud with sheer excitement.

“Done what Mr. Einstein?” Lori said with a smirk. She had not seen him this excited since the time when he receive playboy magazine instead of the TV. guide, because she had put the wrong sticker on the – win ten million dollars a year for life - Publishers Clearing House order form. To Bill, he was the only winner that year, and was happy it came in the form of sexy women in tantalizing poses across the glossy pages that came in black plastic to conceal his erotic pleasure that had been mailed to him by his wife. She’d never make that mistake again and was glad when the two year subscription was over.

He rubbed his hands together and said, like a man about to dive into an uncut chocolate cake and grinned a sheepish grin as if Lori had told him, he’d gotten his playboy subscription renewed, “This experiment is going to shed some light on our situation.”

“Situation?” at this point Lori didn’t know what to think. “Bill, are you feeling OK?”

“Couldn’t feel better,” he said as he organized his pages and began to explain. “What we are going to do is go to twenty businesses over the weekend, and watch twenty boys and twenty girls while they are working.”

“Bill, um, hon, I think that is illegal and called stalking.”

“I don’t mean this is a negative way. Just hear me out. I want to understand what is going on with the young adults of today. We as parents have done all we can to instill in our children the importance of being respectful, honest, and what it takes to make it in life. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for us to get Carmen to understand that she needs to get a job. She has been out of High School for almost a year and still thinks that everything in her life is just going to hand itself to her.”

“Ok, but how does this influence all this creativeness on our dining room table?”

“I want to do an experiment and grade the new generation of males and females in today’s work force. No names will be written down, just check marks in the following categories”.

1.     Customer Service

2.     Attention to detail

3.     Respect for their employer

4.     Respect for others

5.     Ability to speak clearly and effectively

 

“And you want to do this when? It sounds more like a College thesis to me.”

“The sooner the better.” He replied with a grin, “But starting Friday night would be fine too. This is going to be great; I always wanted to know what it was like to work undercover.”

“Bill, this isn’t an episode of Nash Bridges or Hawaii Five-O. We are two adults wanting to learn more about helping our daughter succeed in life.”

“Two adults? Are you saying you’re going to go out on this undercover mission with me?”

“I guess so.” she replied, “But only if I get to play Ziva from N.C.I.S.”

“Ok, then I'll be Tony.” He said with a huge grin and a twinkle to his eyes. “Let’s set our watches. Friday our undercover project will commence at 18:00 hours sharp.”

“Bill...we watch way to much crime story television." Lori said followed with laughter, "What are the girls going to say when they find out what we are about to do?"

 

To Be Continued….

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

FEE SHARK ATTACK!

 

 
Good Morning everyone - Wow, have to say that it has certainly been a few days since I have been able to get online and do what I love to do best - write. To my fellow readers, and to my newest readers who are just coming on board with my blog, I have gone back to work part-time. It is usually three to four days a week and my total hours on the days I do work, are usually five to seven. All in all, I'm getting somewhat used to standing up for a rather lengthy time frame, but I feel it when the day is done. Ouch my bones and I am so missing my office chair. *wink* Ok, so back to my saga of the morning.

During the month of January, 2013, I wrote a story, that I have been getting a lot of responses to, that was called - "Beware of banking fee snowball effect,"

It is sad to find out how many more souls are dealing with this same issue and I was even more surprise by how many shared with me that they had the same bank. Now it has been a few months, and just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water.... (Wait for it - Hit link for sound effect) -  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCfWHqrYUqo- the mystery overdraft fee shark attacked my account again.  Now granted, my account with M&T is not my primary checking, it is merely an account required by the bank so that my husband has the option of cashing his check completely if he chooses too, but 9 out of 10 times, he make a deposit and pays for auto payments and basic needs.

So this morning, once again, the bank has charged us an overdraft fee. Please tell me - do you see where I was over drawn on this bank statement????

 






 

As you can see, the deposit went in, and then was followed by the debits being removed - yet suddenly it hits me - the last time this happened, it was also a charge because of a State farm ACH, but hasn't happened since January and has me pondering "Could it be someone thinks I've stopped looking closely at my account? Or maybe they miss my happy face parked at the desk bitching about another invisiable overdraft." I understand that in this day and age, everyone is hurting to get that might dollar - even big businesses. I do understand the policy when it comes to implementing fees for overdrafts, but like the old rule, show me proof, by showing in on the statement and I'll walk away. Having it in print on a customers statement would give the bank solid ground to stand on, not just a customer service representative giving you this song and dance about timing. If they based all banking on timing, and a million people had this happen...well you do the math. All I can say is that if I'm being told I was overdrawn and being charged the fee - the statement better indicate a negative balance!  I want thank all of you that wrote to me on this topic. I feel bad that some of you were not aware this was happening until you balanced your ledgers at the end of each month and could not get it reversed.  I totally agree with you when you say - it is important that when you see this, you act immediately and not wait. I bet you'll know where I'll be at nine o'clock this morning - if you guessed getting the fee reversed - you guessed right.

 ***
I would also like to reply to one of the emails that I received from Leeann, in Pheonix, Arizona. Leeann, I do agree with you that our world  is in constant change and not always for the better.  We find ourselves having to be more in tuned as to the goings on with government, society, community, family, and what is within ourselves and no matter how much we yell and scream for change...more often than not - the people go unheard. We can't stop just because someone doesn't hear us. If we stand back and allow another voice to speak on our behalf, without our input, the outcome may not be what you hoped for. On the other hand, not all change is good change. It all depends on each individuals person's belief and how they feel, whatever the change may be, and how it would effect them.
 
Yes, I know this topic today is about bank fees, but Leeann brings to the topic a valid point on our global societies as whole and makes one take a second look around; In this day and age it's more than just bank fees. Every day the envelope is being pushed, and if we don't step up and say NO as a united group...this craziness is only going to multiply at our expense and a heavier price will be paid in the end. I get it, that it won't get corrected overnight, and the battles get overwhelming. Citizens are feeling bruised and broken and many feel like all they want to do is run away to the comforts of simple times. I will admit, I feel the very same way somedays and I find that for myself, for many years I was doing a lot of running away. Today I look back on my life when I battled Hodgkin’s disease in 1994 and was told by government doctors that I going to die - I had a Hell No Attitude to beat the disease, but failed everywhere else.  I realize things take time and I tell myself everyday - NEVER GIVE UP! Easier said than done. We as citizens must never give up even if it means fighting a bank fee that was imposed on us, atleast we are starting some where. Right? Wrong? Everyone's has an opinion and I get that some may or may not agree with us Leeann, it happens.  Mom always told me to pick my battles, but sometimes the battle picks us when we least expect it.
 
My quote of the day -
"When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and give people a mysterious grin when they ask you how did you do that."