"So I Could Find My Way" by Stacey L. Bolin

My hands are trembling as I find the ability to write once again, it's like riding a bike, you never forget. The sounds of the keyboard clicking beneath my fingers brings a comforting feeling like a hug from that special person you haven't seen in years. Since my travels that took me from my home of 22 years, I fell off the face of the earth in the world of writing.  My love for writing had soured. I won't lie, never have, and won't start now. I was so FUCKEN angry!! I could spit nails every time I opened my mouth. I was pissed off that my home was now occupied by anyone other than my family. I loved my home, I loved my life, and all I wanted was my husband and boys with me. I also lived with a sense of peace by having all my doctors so close...I felt safe. Yet, all that safety was ripped from me when the one person I needed the most told me he didn't love me at the time. He had been mislead for years, with the biggest lie being that life would be better when he moved back to the west. The only thing I will say is that the reality of that painted wonderful life lasted only six months. In December his soul that believed all things were good and kind had been destroyed and had to be rebuilt once again, but I'll get back to that.

For years I honestly thought I was invincible, nothing could hurt me, or at least I could pretend it didn't when in actuality, I had transformed into a clinical case of what I like to call the Hollow Bunny syndrome, Solid on the outside, empty and dark on the inside and so deeply saddened. My sugar coated hope was to transition into a new life in a remote location on a Ranch to rent that was located in a place called Rocky Hollow, that my husband had found only three days before selling our home. It was a relief to know I finally knew we had a place to rest our head and I hoped from what I had seen from google earth, a place to call home until the next move.  Life in Rocky Hollow was like being a part of the Wonderful World of Disney shows that were televised on Sunday nights. It reminded me of my favorite documentary that had been about the life of the cougar. It was like living on a Disney set that was an animal reservation, and I was in love with the feeling of peace that consumed me soon as we drove down into the Hollows. It was everything I envisioned at the age of 9 of what the wild west would and should be like.  When we pulled into the driveway I was overjoyed that the world up on the prairie lands no longer existed in my mind. We were nestled within the trees and rocky hills. It was a dream come true and all was wonderful until my husband went back to work. For the first few months I did all I could to convince myself that all was right in the world, but day by day my intuition was screaming in the back of my mind and one day I decided to act upon this feeling and discovered on August 3, 2016 a negative element found its way into our lives again, or better yet had not been dealt with as I had been promised, but neither of us had the strength to put it in its place and it set a ticking health bomb that was waiting to explode.

My days were filled with a whole new set of challenges with the most worrisome being when the health bomb eventually went off and I had a heart attack in September 2016. A nurses honest words still haunt... noticing that my ER doctors bedside manner sucked, she provided some words of guidance, she was calm as she told me that I was very sick and if my younger son had not been with me to see the signs and if I sign myself out of the hospital, because I'm so goddamn stubborn... they would been planning my funeral that following Tuesday. Talk about shake some sense into a person, a sense that was also laced with sheer fear and that non-stop want to runaway. I'm not proud of myself when I say I let fear take control and I left my home in Rocky Hollow, on Oct 5th, 2016. I left my husband, I left my boys, I left everything behind with no plans to return. 

My husband took me to the airport and I did my best to  conceal any emotion that I was broken, and as scary as it sounds, he had no idea I was leaving and he was the only person who could fix the problem if he wanted me back.  It was later, in my travels, that I learned that I had just as much fixing to do with myself. I hugged him and gave him a quick kiss then turned and walked away. I was leaving the man of my dreams. The one who had stepped into my sleeping dreams on that cool winter night in November of 1988 the man in the red van that needed my help. I had only bought a one way ticket to NH to see my mother and then my plans were to go back to Annapolis to see my friends before veering off into a new and unknown world that left me feeling old, cold and alone.

Being back in New Hampshire was bittersweet. I was home, but I carried an emptiness along with my luggage while my husband and boys were living their lives back in Nebraska. As I drove, I began the long journey of self discovery. What had I done to those around me, what had I said, but all I could feel was the reactions of being angry to things that were of no control of mine. That I had made so many promises...AND KEPT THEM ALL! But those who had made promises to me didn't keep them. I needed to find the woman I was before I went into the service and the woman that fought a battle with cancer and survived, the woman who stood up to a bullies, that believed in the power within herself, the woman that would do anything to help someone, the woman who was caring, loving, and compassionate.  The woman who had built herself a small company and loved art. Yet the most important lesson that needed to be figured out...how to find the woman within me who loved herself again, because she knows you have to learn to love yourself before you can honestly love another.

My mother and I spent much needed quality time together, something we had not done in years. She had always been my rock, and this time wasn't any different, she set me straight and what I needed to do to be the woman she knew that lived inside me. It was a great feeling to have a sense of confidence back as I worked feverishly on an order of Crystal snowflakes for a wedding. This was to be my first order since I had temporarily shut my business down during the move. For the three and a half weeks I was there, I had completed the order and felt accomplished. My husband and I had as many phone conversations as his over the road trucking job, without much time off, would allow us. As we shared phone calls with each other into the wee hours of the night at times, I felt myself going back in time, back too 1992 when my mother lived in Hillsboro, NH, and when my Seabee guy decided to fly to New Hampshire to get Married on May 6th.  I felt like that gitty young twenty something girl falling in love all over again. Something was changing inside me that I had never felt before. I was finally letting go of many years of sadness, I was learning that the only person that had control over my happiness was me. It was then I discovered I still loved him, maybe even more than I had thought. I decided that the past was the past and if I wanted things to work out, we had to get back to the place that we were when we met. Baby step...but we've gone through worse. On October 18th, I had decided I was not up for the long drive to Annapolis, and hopped a Southwest flight to Baltimore. I was a bit over confident, how hard could it be to go back and see all my friends and  do a follow up with my doctor. With my new found independence, I believed that going back to Annapolis would be a piece of cake...I WAS SO SO WRONG.

Not a lot of people know that I suffer from Anxiety/PTSD that can result in panic attacks that are so sever that the best of inhalers can't stop the effect and before you know it, you're in the ER. As the plane landed, I was relatively calm, and the sights outside the airplane window found comfort within my subconscious as a feeling that I was home. I was in complete denial that I had ever left and that my family was home waiting for me in Annapolis. I was so excited to see them. To sit out on our deck and listen to the sounds of the city. Karma was about to hit me with everything it had. When I got off the plane and made my way to the rental car transportation pick-up point, something immediately changed, something was horribly wrong and it was at that moment I felt so alone. I took a selfie of me smiling and sent it to my friend Radene, trying to hide the panic that was trying to consume my ability to function. Questions by the thousands hit me like a load of brinks. All revolving around the same topic that I was there and my family wasn't.

I got my rental car and headed for Annapolis. As I merged with the evening rush hour traffic, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I was lost both mentally and physically. What seemed like hours trying to get out of the airport location and back to the highways I knew and had driven for 20 plus years, The only place I managed to get to was the Walmart on Quarterfield road.  I sat in the parking lot suffering from a total melt down as I was faced with a sinking feeling that the reality I was facing was that I no longer had a place to go home too  in Annapolis. Our little Blue Rancher on Boxwood Road no longer belonged to us. WHAT HAD I DONE! I hadn't only given up my home, I was giving up my family, but for what? The past, old memories that I can look through pictures and enjoy. As I sat alone weeping for the past, and wanting to know what my future was, I completely gave myself  for the first time to god and asked him for a sign. Immediately my phone rang, it was my husband. I know he didn't understand me as I let myself cry without worry who would hear or see me. He got me calmed down and suggested it may be better to stay in a different hotel rather than the one he and I used to stay at when we wanted a hot tub fix. I agreed and I got a room on the Naval Base. I'm glad I did. While I stayed on the base, I realized what I wanted and what I needed to do to get my life back. One by one my husband and my boys realized that the lies that I had been accused of creating were not of my doing I was just the prime target so they would see me in a different light, again I thank the good lord that they are seeing and hearing first hand I was not the liar they were led to believe I was. It's still difficult for them to accept what and who are the real problems and the players, but day by day, the behaviors of others are showing their true colors. Part of this is the reason my husband decided to leave his job to regroup, the other reason I am not at liberty to share. I know he has dreams of owning his own business and I know as a family we will make all our dreams come true. I'm so proud of him and my boys and together we will keep that CAN-DO spirit that drives us forward.

Another wonderful moment was when I discovered my intuition had finally come back full steam and I've added a little something more to the me I want to be. I thank both my therapists who have finally helped me see that I am not allowed to take on other peoples problems. My new belief is that when people do you wrong, you ask for an apology and move on. never let anyone blame you for their unhappiness, lies, and bad choices. I chose to be a kind, loving, understanding, honest, compassionate, and trustworthy person, but I also chose not to hold on to what hurts me or to take blame for what is not mine and to teach myself that once a person/s loose my trust, it may never come back and that too is not my problem. I will take care of problems immediately and if I did something wrong I take responsibility and apologize. I will protect my family from those who intentionally seek out to hurt them, emotionally, verbally, physically, and financially. My family knows exactly what is expected of them and what I expect out of myself.  I will hold people accountable for their negative actions and I am no longer any body's personal punching bag because of their life choices, AND I WON'T BE BLAMED FOR SHIT I DIDN'T SAY OR DO! No more!

Anyways, as for my stay in Annapolis, it was cut short to five days, as I realized it was time for me to get back to my family. I am thankful that I was able to spend some time with my friend Radene and Paula (Miss you ladies), but my instinct told me it was time for me to go home and regain control over my life and make my business everything I dream it can be. To be the wife, best friend and lover that I had always been, just got lost but now found. To be the mother my boys can come to and know that I will guide them the best way I know how, but that their choices in life is exactly that...their choices. It is still so hard to believe that I had been gone for almost five weeks and at the beginning of those weeks I had just about given up on everything and everyone I loved, but it really makes me step back and take a look at my life. I can see clearly now that obviously this is where I am supposed to be, Here on the Ranch where I now call home. Business is doing great, my dreams to open up an art studio to teach art and ceramics to Veterans is still kinda on hold until we figure out where to put our new roots in the ground, but that hasn't stopped me instead I teach art classes at a great place called Laura Lee's Double L Country Store and Café. in Harrisburg, NE.

As life does, it's given me another challenge and I have another pending medical issue that has come upon me, but this time I'm not afraid to ask for love and prayers from friends and family, and I welcome my name placed upon the prayer tree. I'll know more in a few days, and if all else, maybe this is another reason I chose this day to put my hands upon my keyboards and let my words appear once again. Now before I forget, I have something else to share about the changes in my life....

And it's the best news of all, my kids are doing great and  hold on to your hats folks... my husband and I are going to be Grandparents. WOOT! WOOT! Can't think of a better reason to start writing again. Life is all about ups and downs, but as long as you're with the people that you love and love you, you can take the good and the bad of what life dishes out and overcome. Stay Positive My Friends and gonna keep this promise too...I will Blog ya later.

"Is it Illegal to take the Cat's Valium?...Its one of those days" ~ Day One

"Is it Illegal to take the Cat's Valium?

Its one of those days"

~ Day One ~

Written by: Stacey L. Bolin

Copyright 5/5/2016

W

aking, the same as every morning before, I’m strikingly gorgeous shrouded in pure sexiness with my hair in place, my skin caressed with the scent of Liz Claiborne perfume, make-up still virgin and a smile that could cast a glow - that in its presence could end all world hate - NOT! I grimace at the thought of the truth. 

            As soon as I scripted the statement above, I know I heard the theme song to L.A. Law engulf my senses.  I could envision myself bequeathing a statement in a court room with a million eyes scrutinizing me as I reply to the Judges question. "Yes, Judge I would like to renounce my previous statement. This is how it really happened when I woke up.”

            At 4:19 AM, I woke with excruciating pain of my bladder ready to saturate my sheets and my husband lying next to me. I'm instantly angered as this happens every morning and I feel cheated out of the last 39 minutes of MUST HAVE beauty sleep. I arise like a Zombie cast member of the Living Dead, dragging my legs to the bathroom that is only ten steps away, but I still manage to stub my toe on the metal bed frame that used to have a foot board that prevented this from happening. The sock I taped on the end of the frame was an illusion that gave my brain the false hope that next time I hit it, I would not be jolted into an episode of foot throbbing madness that would soon be accompanied with the pain of my shoulder after I run into the door jamb of our bedroom because... (If I were writing a screen play this is where that strange sound would come in, like shaggy from Scooby Doo saying – ZOINKS! Then the Judge would be interrupting my babbling would ask the question, with a sound of his bullshit detector in his voice, "Ms. Bolin, are you sure this is how it all happened?)

 I feel a strong sense of sarcasm coming on....

            YES! and it's no bullshit! It happens like this every morning because I don't have the ability to hop on one foot half asleep while having to lobster claw lock my legs together to keep from covering the floor with an crotch toxic odor cause by the fluids of what feels like 100 ounces of everything I drank for a week.

Yes, I do ponder about those sporting a penis – does it work to put a serious grip on it so you don’t have an accident if you bladder was pissed at you? NO PUN INTENDED. Smiling.

            Now years ago I had the ability to hold it, but at 48 and the gravitational pull that seems to be getting stronger as I get older - my "Hold It" record is covered in dust that has been collecting for the past 25 years since my last horrific uncontrolled urination blunder - but that's another story I wrote about. Maybe you've read it - "Though the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves. Check out the Chapter entitled D-Day. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

            Getting back to my story - Hobbling my way through the last two steps to our bathroom I finally slump down on the toilet. I do my best to abstain from moaning in an almost orgasmic way, as the flood gates surge open, drowning out the pains in the other places on my body. After finally reaching the end of the 100 ounce marathon, I'm completely exhausted and go back to bed at 4:36 AM - Please note: This is not what the doctor ordered but I go for it anyways knowing perfectly well that my second awaking would be worse than the first. I can't tell you what the science dynamics are that form when I actually fall asleep for the second time, but I truly believe those last 24 minutes is clearly my power sleep mode in full force. How do I know this? I've never fallen asleep over a long period of time and wake to my face and hair stuck to my pillow with the sticky drool that forms. I have dreams that my teeth are falling out and in my mouth are my teeth that are pieces of CHICKLETS gum  – let’s hope they’re not yellow. And for whatever the reason - I am afflicted with another bout of "Hey this is your bladder I need to go again!" pain.

            This is just my waking morning routine…that is aggravating as hell. However on this day, I feel instantly melancholy when the realism of what is about to take place dawns on me as I sit on the end of the bed in the home I’ve lived in for 22 years. My days, my world, my life is all about to change in less than 40 days because on this day, Wednesday May 4^th, two days before our 24^th wedding anniversary, my husband and I signed a series of documents that will change our lives forever.

            No, not divorce papers…yes I know there are some out there that pray for that to happen with every day we stay together. Sorry folks, there is no parole options for my honey and I – move on.  

            At 7:30 AM, we signed the official contact to sell our home to a very nice couple. This decision to move has been talked about almost daily for 22 years, but being less than forty days away is the most terrifying experience that I honestly thought would never happen. I’m happy, sad, scared, worried, and my anxiety is working on over time that I think I’d qualify for the 2016 Summer Olympics – all events -  if I could bottle how I’m feeling and use it as a form of crazy adrenaline to fuel me to win any of the competition categories.   

            What makes this wonderful change in our lives horrifying is the fact – there is no plan. No home to go to, no jobs that have been confirmed, No place to dream of decorating to make a house a home. No mantel to arrange my holiday decorations, No place to dream about and the life after it. No place to lay my head down next to my husband - in a place that is our very own like we created here in Maryland. We are literally pulling up our roots again and starting over. We are packing up 22 years of memories and purchases to turn our focus to the one and only thing we do know...we are taking the road that goes west.  I can help but think of a video I had seen years ago on MTV, this situation reminds of the music video called “We’re on a Road to Knowhere” by the Talking Heads. It makes no sense, but at the same time you’re excited for the adventure to discover what’s on the road to nowhere.

I’ve always have been a person that loves to have something to look forward too. Yet it appears to me, what I keep envisioning is that all I have at this very moment is how I’m going to load the moving trucks - after that it’s anyone’s mystery. So I used my uncertainty to give me both the strength to overcome my fears and the ability to write about this crazy journey like I have done so many times in the past. For example; my husband being attacked by a prehistoric gummy bear or the black hair donut nun chucks. Something about our trips west always generated so many unbelievable, but true tales to tell. Granted we were just going west for a vacation, we were not about to jump into a move half way across the USA with both feet without a plan.  Don’t get me wrong…I’ll go anywhere as long as it doesn’t destroy my relationship with my sons and my marriage.

Now, I keep forgetting a key element in all of this…Cleopatra our cat. She and I have had long discussions about this endless topic. You see she is getting up in years too, and we older women like our routines, schedules and have learned to stick together. We’ve been to our Doctors and Vet and I’m jealous that my cat is being prescribed Valium to weather moving day. Which has me thinking – what would happen to me if I took my cat’s valium? Would I grow whiskers on my own private place – and if so would that mean I could feel my way around in the dark? Did she really just say that? Ha ha. Yep! Made you smile or wince.  I know, I just veered off into gutter lane, but like I said, I need to find humor in all of this.

            It was this type of thinking, during a lunch date with a friend - I’m going to miss to the moon and back, and a phone call with my mother that very same day – that spawned the idea, rather than stress and worry about what the future holds in the next few weeks and beyond; why not share this experience with my readers. I know I’ll vent, I know I’ll laugh and find the humor, and I’m know without a doubt I will break several times into extremes of tears and anger, but what I also know is that if I can survive cancer, a sexual assault, and the negative nellies of this world – this is just another step in my own “Wizard of Oz” adventure and I will stand strong and tall. I’m hoping I can be my own Dorothy, click my red shoe heals three times and we’ll find our – No place like home – home.

            But until then, your support of just reading my writings help me in ways that words could never express and just knowing someone somewhere out there has given me just a bit of their time - empowers me with an indestructible “CAN-DO” spirit.

            Welcome to my journey.

            So until tomorrow – Blog ya later.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

 

A quote from the back seat:

"This much pain should be illegal - but got to keep smiling" 

 

Helllloooo everyone in Internet Land.  Yes, I will say it has been almost three weeks since I've enjoyed my morning coffee and let the words form at the tips of my fingers as my thumbs do their best to keep up with the space bar to keep my words from being jumbled. Last I wrote, I was in the temporary empty nesters training, that has now ended on Aug 1st, 2014, and that I am happy to report - WE PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS. WAA WHOO!!

My youngest son flew out to Nebraska on June 24th, to work with his grandfather on his wheat farm and on July 19th, my husband and I drove out to spend two weeks with friends and family and then the three of us were driving home together on Aug 1st. (So glad everyone in our family now has a license).  Now, the drama of this plan began on July 15th, when I was scheduled for a Lumbar Puncture A.K.A. a Spinal Tap. I was told this procedure was routine and that my doctor had done many of these procedures. Now in this 45 year old brain of mine, I am under this false belief that I'm 25 - O.K. 30 and that I can bounce back from any procedure in just a matter of a day and a few hours of bed rest. NOT THIS TIME! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING! - I wasn’t that was the problem.

My husband takes time off on that Tuesday morning so he could drive me home. I was never told that I had to lie still 6 hours after the procedure. I was told about the possibility of a Spinal Headache, but having had migraines for the past 23 years - this would be a piece of cake. I got through the procedure, the doctor let me get up and leave after 25 minutes of remaining on the procedure bed. I felt rather well, just pain from the two places they accessed my spine. Got in the truck, even went out for brunch at a restaurant. No headache. I had overcome the odds - so I had thought.

By morning of the 16th, life was not as I had envisioned and the only thing I wanted was to be placed into a coma for six weeks to survive the extreme pain that I was in. I could not walk, or sit - only lay down. I had so much to do and had left it until last minute thinking that I would still have three days after the procedure to get stuff done and be ready for our 27 hour drive to Nebraska. My vision of success turned into a Nightmare that was so riddled with extreme pain, that I felt paralyzed. By Thursday, my husband took more time off that morning to rush me to the emergency room in Bethesda, Maryland to see if I could get a Spinal patch done - nope only pain meds and sent home. They didn't have much empathy for our concern about our pending vacation that we had chosen to drive instead of fly.

Now you all know, if I can find a great story to write about, I'm on it, but having to lay down in the back of my Suburban to get some relief, and my husband having to do all the driving - I started seeing and doing some strange things - I blame the pain meds. But in that time, many things had happened to us that I still find funny, so I condensed it to one liners and I entitle this piece –

 

"Possible Book Titles Inspired by Pain from a Back Seat" By Stacey L. Bolin - Enjoy.

·        The Alarm Clock Assault

·        Didn’t leave til 6:30 – Sudden Shits

·        We stopped in Breeze wood, MD, could only eat a hash brown.

·        Spinal Headache on the road – Kill me now!

·        Jurassic Bug Guts Graveyard on the Windshield (See photo below)

 

·        Haunted by the Cinnabon scent from the vendor while in a Love’s truck stop restroom.

·        Sweaty Skin Stuck to the leather back seat.

·        Pain so bad, afraid to fart

·        Saw a huge cross in Kansas – Am I dead?

·        Hubbies Cell Phone Ringing – Again!

·        My man bitchin’ he’d been Looking for Lodging – No luck for Miles…in St. Louis

·        Denny’s and its dinner in my bra – Just couldn’t hold it down.

·        Puke Explosion in Terre Haute

·        The Nebraska Cup Port-a-pisser on the road – When you gotta go you gotta go.

·        Ron the Driver – Rated M for Mature: harsh language and hand gestures and toxic farts

·        Broke Bitch Mountain (Had to be there for that one ;)

·        Broke Dick Mountain (Was my response to the comment above)

·        I made it to the rest room – my shorts didn’t

And the number one title that would have everyone shocked for weeks – was inspired when my husband said to me as we finally got to our destination and climbed into bed for the night and I was still dealing with the pain – “Rub my back Fucka – I drove the whole trip.”

 

I hope you enjoyed my commentary about the first day on our trip. Even though I was dealing with some tremendous pain, after about 8 days, I was back to my old self, movin’ and grovin’. Below are a few pictures I captured during our travels. Thanks for reading and looking forward to sharing more stories that I have put together during the summer and during my empty nester training. Until next time – Blog ya later Alligators.

 

Seeing our oldest son for the first time.
He's now on a new Crew since this picture.

 

Wild Sunflower in Potter, Nebraska

 

My husbands Super "Sonic" weiner

 

Over the Rainbow in Stereo

 

Our youngest farming in the Panhandle of Nebraska

 

A Western Sunset in a mirror heading East.

 

The Tragic Nursery Rhyme

Hello once again. Yes, I have been off line for a spell. As many of you know, I had a new book that came out, TWISTED: Creepy Tales from a mother's mind, sooner than it was supposed to on Amazon.com.

 

It was to debut in June on the night of the full moon - Friday the 13th, but I soon learned I have no control over publishers and their time schedules. My personal scheduled has been excessively filled to the brim and being a mother I have found that when people say the baby age for children is the easiest - They are SO right. I just recently sent my oldest son out into the world about six states away to experience life in the mid-west. As a city boy, I can say - he's doing better out there every day.  My younger son, will finish his last day of his Junior year in High School today, and then he too, will be heading to the mid-west to spend his summer/several weeks on his grandfathers wheat farm until my husband and I go out and pick him up. So that leaves me and my husband in a new life experience called - Empty Nesters. Something tells me - we'll prevail. (smile). 

 

Now why did I title this blog today "The Tragic Nursery Rhyme", you ask?  All because of a Birthday card my youngest son got for a friend.  This is what it read - enjoy.  Happy Monday Everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The Tragic Nursery Rhyme"

 

 

 

Jack wasn't nimble,

Jack wasn't quick,

He fell on your cake,

and burned his......

 

 

 

 

corduroys

 



 

 



"Your Bladder or Mine"

It was the last day of July and the preparations for a long drive west were underway. The luggage had been packed, the truck had been cleaned from top to bottom - inside and out. The cooler was cooling with goodies that ranged from sweet pickles for the family, to various flavors of our favorite soda. We had taken a trip to Michigan over the 4th of July to visit family for a couple days and we looked at the 12 hour drive to Michigan, from our home, as a process of conditioning for our 27 hour trek to Nebraska that would commence in less than 12 hours.

 

It had been at least five years since our last driven venture to the west to where my husband was born and raised. We had been anticipating the trip for months, yet fears of truck trouble, limited funds, and teen-age boys that suffer from N.G.F.T.W. or otherwise known as (No girlfriends for two weeks) would somehow put a wrinkle in our plans. What am I hearing, your laughing at the girlfriends comment?...Come on now, we all know those youthful days of young love and the paranoia of wondering if your special someone is really missing you or really can survive without you around for a few days. Let me just say, if it weren't for sleeping most of the trip and the electronic flat boxes, they protect more than the family jewels, their I-phones, I think that we would have had to provide them with oxygen treatments and frequent calls to a therapist. Ok, I'm being overly dramatic, but honestly...I'm relatively close in what I am describing.

 

Now with any trip, there is always the argument of who is the better driver - Mom or Dad. I will be the first to say - Ladies this is the only way to get somewhere if your driving with a car load of men. (See the video below)

 

Ladies....am I right?  Big Cheesy Grin on my face and enjoying a big belly laugh as I watch the video - they had no idea. He He.

 

By 6am, on the first of August, we managed to get ourselves up and into our over the road traveling clothes, but have learned over the years that it was better to look somewhat presentable. The most memorable trip on the road was when we had stopped at a truck stop, we were tired, we had severe pillow hair - for those of us not driving - and we looked as if we had gone without a shower or clean clothes for months, that resulted in a stranger handing us a couple bucks and told us to get some food for our kids. OMG - Too funny.

 

 ***

 

All the information for our house guest, who would be staying at our home to babysit our cat, was on the counter in case of any emergencies that may arise. The luggage was loaded with the cooler strategically placed for those - on the road needs - while the truck was in motion. Once the blankets and pillows found themselves at our traditional road trip seat locations, we put ourselves in the truck, shut the doors and let the adventure begin. Two minutes down our street a sleepy voice from the back said - "Are we there yet?" My husband and I just looked at one another, the fun was just beginning.

 

We stopped at our local McDonald's to get a bite to eat, and was officially onward at 6:35am - destination - North Platte, Nebraska. We decided to deviate from our typically driven route of 70 and a few other routes that would eventually bring us to some where near Des Moines, Iowa to then get on I-80 for the rest of our journey. This time we chose to stay on 70 as much as we could and then go from Kansas City, Missouri northward to Nebraska. We made it to Rocky Gap, in Cumberland, Maryland, in record time and took a moment to stop and take in the rising of the morning sun. It was at this stop the "I Gotta' Pee" games began.

 

 

 

"Rocky Gap - Rest Stop - Cumberland, MD." 2013

 

Now my husband and I, have literally traveled from west to east and back again, maybe not all at once, yet either way I'm almost positive that our butts have tolerated some serious auto travels in our days and have been on more seat cushions than toilets. But I'm sure that many of you that had traveled long distance by car with your parents or grandparents, when you were kids, remember those curses that were cast upon us when we would complained about the frequent urinary travel habits of our elders. Come on now, I know you are guilty and remember that impatient feeling, as you rolled your eyes thinking - "Holy crap are we ever going to get there".  Well as much and my husband and I wanted to believe all these years we would never be stricken with or by any of those parental curses, I must be honest when I say, we too are not immune and our eye rolling and bad thoughts, as kids, have come back to haunt us. Along with age, back pain, fatigue, and numerous bodily changes - the biggest change in our abilities for our on the road long distance traveling, and something we learned with quickness - we both suffer from - OBC - Questionable bladder control. All those cokes and water bottles that we had consumed along our driven travels to stay awake like we had done years past, no longer stored anywhere near as long in our bladders as they did five years ago - but neither my husband or myself wanted to be the person that would say, "Next rest stop pull over I gotta pee."

Now with my husband I and our bulging bladders, my kids dealt with the sides effects to Boredom -  Braxton hicks man style - AKA - Hunger pains. Before we could stop to do anything to save the treats -  the boys were in full munchies madness mode and any snack items that were in their reach had no hope for surviving to lunch. (It was a good thing I had more hidden in the back with the luggage). All in all the day was filled with your typical long distance drive summer traffic and unique ways that people kill the time to survive the close quarters confinement for hours on end. Our favorite was when I would see a truck stop that said Pilot, I'd say "Pilot", followed by my younger son replying "Subway", as we notice with every Pilot truck stop, it had a subway. But the biggest and most important requirement with any and every drive we make, having our Dairy Queen radar's on. Yes I will admit it, we are Dairy Queen junkies and if you were to total up the number of stops we made just for Dairy Queen, it would average out that we stopped at every other one, from Ohio to Nebraska and back. Even my husband knows, when he is sound asleep, there is a Dairy Queen near by and will immediately wake up - That my friends is no exaggeration.

***

We saw many sights along our first day of traveling, below are a couple pictures I was able to capture while in route to our destination. We had never seen either of these places before, so it was exciting to see something new. Sorry if they are a bit blurry.

St. Louis Arch

Kansas City Baseball Stadium

One the first day of the drive, my husband and I shared the driving, just about equally. He probably did about two hours more than I had, but we still made great time to get to a more than half way point. At about 8:30 on the first night, my husband had been struggling to stay awake, and was realizing that his pride was trying to win a loosing battle. He had suggested looking for a place to spend the night, but being unfamiliar with the St. Louis area, or any place in Missouri for that matter, I offered my driving services and suggest that he lie down and get some sleep and I would continue on ward, but that idea just wasn't setting well with him and he chose to drive on. By 10:30, he had had enough and pulled over to get a room. Now we all know that you get what you pay for and he spotted a sign that said - "Room's $29.95 a night next four exits."  Something just didn't sit well with me, but I could see he was dreadfully tired and our heated seats were no longer taking care of his back pain, so I didn't add my two cents. The exit off I-70 was somewhat lit up by a TA truck stop location and the hotel that the billboard had indicated four exits back, was tucked back into the darkness on a dead end road about a half mile passed the truck stop.

Immediately I began to have ideas about my upcoming Halloween stories for my blog in October. My radar was screaming and it wasn't because there was a Dairy Queen near by, this was telling me that we were entering an area that had probably been the location of a crime scene many times. He pulled into the parking lot when I noticed a sign that was hand written in marker on a white piece of flat plastic that was bolted to the bottom of the pole of the billboard, that advertised the hotel for people going east bound, that said, no turn-arounds allowed. "Yeah that's because people go in, but they don't come out." I thought to myself. My younger son was the first to speak up and say, "Hey Dad, doesn't Norman Bates live here?" It was obvious that in-spite of my husbands pain and sheer fatigue, he could see that we were not comfortable staying the night in a place where when the lights go out, the green evil eyes of the darkness would appear and our luggage would be whisked away by creatures with a million legs.

It didn't take much convincing to get my husband to get into the back of our Suburban and sleep, and let my boys and I decide to drive through the night or find a place to stop and rest. After my oldest son utilized his phone to find hotels and read any reviews, we made a couple of stops, but again, these hotels gave me that same - Norman Bates kinda feeling - and I continued to drive onward. Eventually we found a comfort Inn hotel just immediately off of exit 125, in a small town called Myersville. The desk clerk was extra helpful and met us with a smile, which is hard to find at 1:30 in the morning. He put us up on the first floor, suite 107, that provided both of my boys their own beds and a king sized bed for my husband and I. He even offered the use of the hot tub all night if my husband needed it to help get his back feeling better. My younger son and I ended up being the ones who took advantage of hot tub, while my husband and oldest son, chose to take advantage of immediate sleep in an - I can spread out horizontal position. After twenty-five minutes of enjoying the soothing feeling on our tired muscles in the hot tub, we decided to follow suit and we too called it a night. With our first day being uneventful, we could have never imagined the growing danger that would find us in North Platte.

To be continued....

 

HELLO!! I suggested to do what for the Holidays?

Well hello everyone. I do apologize for the sporadic writing on my blog.  Some days I have a big folder of words to share, which is stored in this uncharted mind of mine.  Other days, I feel I have misplaced the folder and can't put a decent sentence together.  I'm told with my sporadic way of thinking that is the mind of a writer with occasional road blocks.  Ha ha. OK I'll accept that, but really it is a mind of an unorganized thinker with all kinds of thoughts.  Most of my writing comes from something that has happened to me, my family, even a possible stranger walking down the street. The bad part about that...I'm never in front of a computer when I need to be. Today's humorous little story is about traveling for the holidays.

On occasion I would have to say that I suffer from anxiety, well that is what my doctor calls it. I call it an ultra-hormonal whack me in the head, knock my butt out, invisible destruction, and panic attack. Phew, I typed that in one breath.  I know what causes them and I know what to do when I begin to feel that I am not myself...yes I'm hearing you - a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde personality.  The biggest trigger for these weird feelings is fear. If I am scared of something...OMG, my world will begin to spin like the Tasmanian devil on a Bugs Bunny cartoon. I am not one that runs to the doctor every time I have hurt myself or feel out of sort. If anything I am told that I should not try to be my own personal doctor and go in when necessary. But for this fear I am presently dealing with, there is not much a doctor can really do unless beatings were legal. So knowing this tid-bit of information about mwah, let me get into this glorious tale.

My friends and my family have had the luxury, and I mean that most sarcastically, of being on a plane with me in bad weather, and know exactly how bad I can be.  It is my own inner turmoil.  I don't stand up and scream, I don't foam at the mouth, I don't wet my pants...as I pee before I get on a plane, and I don't drink to get myself through hard or scary times.  I have however, learned an excellent exercise called - Fear Llamas.  In through the nose, out through the mouth slowly and is repeated about 10,000 times while squeezing my temples which turns them a beautiful shade of purple, until the plane is out of the storm clouds and on the ground. My family and I are planning our first big trip to my husband’s home state for the holidays.  He misses living out West and our plans are to move that way in three years...but I'll get to the rest of that story in another blog.  Anyway we have gone out West numerous times but there way is always one thing that was different, because of me - We drove.  So what changed with this trip....oh you'll love this. Because we didn't want to waste four days of driving in our vacation, I was the first to suggest flying.  HELLO!! I suggested doing what? I must have been out of my mind? Was I hungry or lacking so much sugar from all the dieting I have been doing, that I completely lost my marbles? I wanted to fly instead of drive? Now this idea came to me in the middle of the summer. I was completely fine with the idea. Now with this pending trip just around the corner, the little voice that lives in the back of my mind moved to the front right over my eyes causing me to rub my forehead any chance I get. Forget waiting until my butt is on the plane.  So what is it that bothers me about flying, truthfully - I have no control over any possible situation such as plane delays, bad weather trips, crying babies, and the biggy - getting from A to B, safely. But let’s look on the bright side, if it is a nice sunny day, just keep the word searches in front of me with endless bags of peanuts, that usually have, 14.3 peanuts in each package, and I'll be just fine.

My youngest son is a little anxious about this trip as it has been a long time since he has been on a plane. The last time he had flown was during his fearless years in elementary school.  So yesterday I did what any mom would do to keep the worry warts busy - I hit the "Five and Below" store and got a few word searches and Sudoku books for me.  For my sons, I got them both "Ripley's Believe it or Not" and some really good gross joke books for them.  I am also told that since this flight is over 2 hours long...there will be an in-flight movie and brunch. Waa whoo! Food is fun! Our trips always have some kind "Griswold" adventure and I am sure our time we will be spending in Colorado and Nebraska will not be any different from our travels in years past. If we get our rental car, and it is the one we reserved, that is half the battle. I'll be sure to document our travels with video, pictures and my trusty, to share all of you. If I find out location is to remote to use a computer or my oldest son can't pry himself from his girlfriends I-phone, that she lets him use, the only solution to share my stories with you, is that you'll have to check back soon to find out what crazy adventure/s we faced this time. Who know, maybe more Jurassic Gummie Bears that break our teeth?  Or here's a new one - Dad gets another speeding ticket, but this time in a different state. Oh, that would be different. So to all of my readers out there, I wish for all of you a safe, happy and healthy Thanksgiving filled with lots of stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce and we can't forget the most important dish - a side of FOOTBALL!