We survived the Thanksgiving Holiday...and then some!

I had been fretting for months that my husbands family would not be happy with me due to my recent book I had published. I also feared I would once again be left out in the cold while another family member would treat my husband as the long lost boyfriend and do their fair share of keeping us apart, yes oddly enough this has happened before.  I also worried extensively, as I had said in my last blog, that our flight would be treacherous because of my fear to fly. There was a lot going on in this mind of mine, you name it I feared the worst for the last three months since this trip was planned. As much as my extreme thoughts had me anticipating a trip filled with disappointing moments resembling the movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, I found a way to change all that and it rendered our family trip over the Thanksgiving holiday, anything but eventful.  On December 18th, the day we were leaving, I decided that I was not going to worry over anything. Life was going to happen and no matter how much I want to control the outcome so that nobody was hurt or disappointed, I threw caution to the wind and let my guard down once and for all. Doing this was the best medicine that our family of four has been seeking for so many years.  Not only were they happy, it let life fill me with so many moments of joy, happiness and a deeper connection that my husband and I and our boys have needed.

I will say, I couldn't help but wonder when the drama would begin and for each moment that in years past would have resulted in such extreme negative behavior, this time it was just the simple life, quality family time, great conversation and a true inner peace enriched with unconditional love.  This had always been my secret Christmas wish that I longed for, only to realize it had always been there - I just wasn't awake in my mind to see it until now. I had let the hurt of all those moments in years past, constantly dictate my distant personality - I was so tried of feeling so bad for so long, that this idea of changing my worrying ways was the moment in which I found complete peace. At this present time as the words in my thoughts find their way to my pen and paper, I shed tears of happiness and contentment. I can honestly say that my fear of the changes in my life had actually been the fear of would I ever get home in  my mind to be the wife, mother, friend and lover that had been trapped inside me, doing everything and anything to be heard, to be seen, but was suffering inside through my own invisible destruction. I guess the old saying - If ma'ma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, really was true.

I sit here today, joyful of the moments that I was apart of and memories that will be forever etched into our souls. I can still hear the laughter of my boys and husband as we drove to places such as Sidney, North Platte and Scottsbluff Nebraska. The excitement that filled our SUV as we drove up the mountain to enjoy a weekend in Estes Park, Colorado where we experienced a grand snow during the "Catch the Glow" Christmas parade in Estes Park. Our trip was one of pure relaxation and fun. None of us wanted to come back to the world of reality, but like all things fun, our trip would soon end and we'd be flight bound back to the east coast. But I am happy to report that life has been just as grand at home as it was on our trip. For me, I can honestly say - Hello life, I've missed you. Thank you for bringing me back to reality and helping me see that what is important are the people around me, not the material things we have. That we don't know how long we have in life and to make the most of every day. If you are occasionally dealt with some negativity from others, learn to deal with it, but not consume it. People are who they are and some will never learn the value of changing within themselves and there is nothing you can do to fix it.  I have also found that if you love yourself, than you can show love to those who are important in your life. All my love to the three special men in my life - My husband Ron, and my two sons, Ryan and Reese.



 

 



 






 



 











"Life's not the breaths you take,
but the moments that take your breath away"



HELLO!! I suggested to do what for the Holidays?

Well hello everyone. I do apologize for the sporadic writing on my blog.  Some days I have a big folder of words to share, which is stored in this uncharted mind of mine.  Other days, I feel I have misplaced the folder and can't put a decent sentence together.  I'm told with my sporadic way of thinking that is the mind of a writer with occasional road blocks.  Ha ha. OK I'll accept that, but really it is a mind of an unorganized thinker with all kinds of thoughts.  Most of my writing comes from something that has happened to me, my family, even a possible stranger walking down the street. The bad part about that...I'm never in front of a computer when I need to be. Today's humorous little story is about traveling for the holidays.

On occasion I would have to say that I suffer from anxiety, well that is what my doctor calls it. I call it an ultra-hormonal whack me in the head, knock my butt out, invisible destruction, and panic attack. Phew, I typed that in one breath.  I know what causes them and I know what to do when I begin to feel that I am not myself...yes I'm hearing you - a Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde personality.  The biggest trigger for these weird feelings is fear. If I am scared of something...OMG, my world will begin to spin like the Tasmanian devil on a Bugs Bunny cartoon. I am not one that runs to the doctor every time I have hurt myself or feel out of sort. If anything I am told that I should not try to be my own personal doctor and go in when necessary. But for this fear I am presently dealing with, there is not much a doctor can really do unless beatings were legal. So knowing this tid-bit of information about mwah, let me get into this glorious tale.

My friends and my family have had the luxury, and I mean that most sarcastically, of being on a plane with me in bad weather, and know exactly how bad I can be.  It is my own inner turmoil.  I don't stand up and scream, I don't foam at the mouth, I don't wet my pants...as I pee before I get on a plane, and I don't drink to get myself through hard or scary times.  I have however, learned an excellent exercise called - Fear Llamas.  In through the nose, out through the mouth slowly and is repeated about 10,000 times while squeezing my temples which turns them a beautiful shade of purple, until the plane is out of the storm clouds and on the ground. My family and I are planning our first big trip to my husband’s home state for the holidays.  He misses living out West and our plans are to move that way in three years...but I'll get to the rest of that story in another blog.  Anyway we have gone out West numerous times but there way is always one thing that was different, because of me - We drove.  So what changed with this trip....oh you'll love this. Because we didn't want to waste four days of driving in our vacation, I was the first to suggest flying.  HELLO!! I suggested doing what? I must have been out of my mind? Was I hungry or lacking so much sugar from all the dieting I have been doing, that I completely lost my marbles? I wanted to fly instead of drive? Now this idea came to me in the middle of the summer. I was completely fine with the idea. Now with this pending trip just around the corner, the little voice that lives in the back of my mind moved to the front right over my eyes causing me to rub my forehead any chance I get. Forget waiting until my butt is on the plane.  So what is it that bothers me about flying, truthfully - I have no control over any possible situation such as plane delays, bad weather trips, crying babies, and the biggy - getting from A to B, safely. But let’s look on the bright side, if it is a nice sunny day, just keep the word searches in front of me with endless bags of peanuts, that usually have, 14.3 peanuts in each package, and I'll be just fine.

My youngest son is a little anxious about this trip as it has been a long time since he has been on a plane. The last time he had flown was during his fearless years in elementary school.  So yesterday I did what any mom would do to keep the worry warts busy - I hit the "Five and Below" store and got a few word searches and Sudoku books for me.  For my sons, I got them both "Ripley's Believe it or Not" and some really good gross joke books for them.  I am also told that since this flight is over 2 hours long...there will be an in-flight movie and brunch. Waa whoo! Food is fun! Our trips always have some kind "Griswold" adventure and I am sure our time we will be spending in Colorado and Nebraska will not be any different from our travels in years past. If we get our rental car, and it is the one we reserved, that is half the battle. I'll be sure to document our travels with video, pictures and my trusty, to share all of you. If I find out location is to remote to use a computer or my oldest son can't pry himself from his girlfriends I-phone, that she lets him use, the only solution to share my stories with you, is that you'll have to check back soon to find out what crazy adventure/s we faced this time. Who know, maybe more Jurassic Gummie Bears that break our teeth?  Or here's a new one - Dad gets another speeding ticket, but this time in a different state. Oh, that would be different. So to all of my readers out there, I wish for all of you a safe, happy and healthy Thanksgiving filled with lots of stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce and we can't forget the most important dish - a side of FOOTBALL!