"Right Before My Eyes"

 

Well hello to everyone in internet land. It's been a crazy few days, but for the most part, we have gotten through with only a few bumps in the road. I was notified of a medical situation that will require testing next Tuesday - yes I rather fear the testing process. For this situation, I think its best I do what the doctors advise, but laughed hysterically when they continue to say to me in a straight face - remain stress free. I hear the belly starting to roll again just thinking about it.  "Remain Stress Free", is what I'm thinking to myself as I optimistically listen to the doctors words. My husband and I just joined the Temporary Empty Nester's Training last week, the USA soccer team lost, my kids are west without my husband and I, my husband hates the humid temperatures right now as it triggers war memories, I have a friend who has been battling an infection that placed her into the hospital since early this week and I have to have a lumbar puncture to test the pressure in my brain - so stay stress free - Riigggghhhhhttttt. Wow, that was kind of nice to vent, I feel some weight off my mind already. *Wink*

Ok, so I poke fun at the doctor’s advice, but realistically, I am heeding what he said until I get my tests completed. While keep my life at the most lowest key – and still get out of bed – I have found ways to be productive and, ha ha ha, stress free. I've managed to discover that where my computers screen sits, is actually on a desk - yes the creative eclectic clutter is gone. Say that one three times fast.  It's a nice desk, a dark wood top done in a nice white wash on the sides and doors, oh oh but wait, it gets even better. The bigger discovery - as I clean my office out - I have a book shelf to match. (smile). Ok, I'm being a bit dramatic, but I'm a writer - what's your superpower? LOL.

Now dramatic, you'll love this little story I am about to tell you. It's rather embarrassing, but I'm sure I am not the only person in the world that was faced with a dilemma and the answer was staring them in the face the whole time. Ok, let me tell you the situation.

As I lay in bed early Tuesday morning I got a call from a friend that had asked me to help her put in her air conditioning unit in her windows, as she had been under the weather for some time and was feeling overall weakness.  Confidently I reply "Yes, I can come over and do that, I've put those things in so many times I can do it with my eyes closed." Open mouth insert foot.

When I arrived at her home, I went upstairs and began to attempt to put the unit into the window - something was missing and the unit alerted me that if I didn't do something different it was going to fall to its death on the sidewalk below. "Oh, it needs to have the bar screwed onto the top - One bar, no screws to secure it - YIKES!" I thought to myself trying to give it my MacGyver ingenuity.

I tried to take screws from one item to compensate for the ones that were missing - epic fail. I was baffled in my mind as I tried to wear the look of knowledge. My friend then suggested that maybe it was time to get a new one for the downstairs, "K-Mart has a great sale," I blurted out, while also thinking, "I can get some screws to put this one in and it will stay in place the right way."

Not knowing if I would make it back before they had to go to an appointment, I got a key to her home, then I headed out to the store to make my purchases as my friend and a family member made their way to the hospital. I found the deal of a lifetime and now my friend is the owner of a brand new window shaker, a.k.a. an air conditioner – no more Maryland sweltering heat and humidity.

 

 

Immediately a melody comes into mind when I think back on the next part of my story. So if you'd like the full effect - click onto the link below to add some comedic relief as you read. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

 

The unit was boxed tightly with three very strong plastic straps. Not having a utility knife or scissors, I used a small hand held hack saw and cut through the ridged plastic. I then proceeded to lift the box bending at the knees and applying all my strength when suddenly, just the top and sides abruptly came off causing me to jolt back and fall onto the floor. “Thank goodness nobody saw this,” I thought to myself.

I got up, dusted off my pride, and proceeded to prepare the window to install the Cooling Box. (Deal with me as I attempt to be creative and try to come up with as many alternate words to describe a window air conditioner. Smile.) I unlocked the window and tried to pull the window open – no movement. I stood puzzled and intently looked the locking mechanism over. I discovered there were other areas that locked on either side of the window, so I made sure they were opened and then again proceeded to pull up on the window to open it – still nothing. Now the main window lock has only two positions – open and closed, but you’ll never guess what I did – turned it back to the lock position thinking it was a trick lock and tried to open the window again – NOTHING! Grrrrr! “What the hell is the mystery of this flipping window” I cursed out loud to myself. Again, I went back to the lock and switched it back to open. I think the person walking by the window found great humor to see me sweating and cursing when once again I pulled up on the window and – STILL NOTHING! The bitch wasn’t budging. I paced back and forth scratching the top of my head with one hand and the other position tightly on a hip.

I began to talk to the window asking it to be nice for me and just open so that I could get this Electric Chilling Cube in place. What do you think happened? Do you think the window finally opened?  Guess again – a two foot piece of bamboo fell on my head that had been cut and placed as another security device to keep the windows locked. “What the…?” I said looking it over wondering where it came from. Instantly Sir Isaac Newton’s: The Universal Law of Gravitation - hit me. I proceeded to open the window one last time – IT OPENED! I was so happy, I got everything screwed and snapped together and got it placed just right, closed the window down on it to keep the cold wind machine in place. I was so proud of myself – when it happened. As I picked up the cord to plug it into the socket light dawned in the dark space of my brain - UUUGGGHHHH!!!!! I had put it in the wrong window! But I had an ace in the hole - I removed the bamboo, unlocked the locks and in less that Ten minutes I found myself sitting on a chair, running my fingers through my sweat drenched hair, as the Window Wind Vortex box blew ice cold air in my face. A true Benny Hill moment - I'm so relieved to know that it's not on camera, though it would have been a funny Youtube moment.

I hope you like my comic relief this morning. Just a little something to lighten your possible stressors of the day and to let you know, we all have those kinds of moments where the answers to our problems are sometimes staring us in the face, but with so much going through our minds, we forget to see the bigger picture.  Thanks for reading and have a safe, happy and healthy Independence Day tomorrow. Blog ya later.

The TEMPORARY Empty Nesters - Will they survive?

 

Well today is Thursday, and for many who are a part of the Facebook world, must know by now that Thursdays are also knows as Throwback Thursday. What is this you ask? For those who don't know it is a special day dedicated to reliving the past through various memories i.e., old school pictures, days of yesteryear that usually come in the form of pictures when we were young, worry and/or care free with only minimal responsibilities in our lives. Or for others, it could also be for moments to post pictures of your graduating child in their best/worst baby picture. Everyone has their own way of sharing their times of yesteryear when the calendar indicates - "It's Thursday."

 

I personally cannot say that I have posted anything to attribute to this weekly tradition, but have great fun looking at the pictures posted, and finding myself smiling, or warding off the stressors of my day with a chuckle or two as I enjoy the memory that it triggered for me in that era of my life. We'll today, something about this Facebook ritual, has me feeling lonely and longing for the days when my boys were just learning how to walk and talk, to their first days in Kindergarten, to our special days before they became young men. 

My mother always shared this one piece of advice, "Enjoy those babies they grown up quick and before you know it, they'll be out on their own and you'll be standing there wondering where the time went." Harboring the great ability to be naïve, I believed this would not rattle my timbers for many years and that hands of time would slow on the clock, just to prove her advice wrong - the only one wrong was me - and my mind is filled with this vision of my mother taking the place of Julie Andrews as she sings a top of the mountains in the Sound of Music singing a song called "Always listen to your mother." Today I'm feeling the brunt of this advice and glad that I heeded it fully. You see, my husband and I are in training, temporary empty nesters training to be exact, which I'm rather thankful for vs. being thrown into it in a permanent status.  

My oldest son, move from our home to the Midwest, in May of 2014, to take on the role of – Big Rig truck driver - for a custom wheat harvest cutting team. He graduated last year, and the idea of him following his dreams was exciting and the thought of our home being childless never crossed my mind, as my younger son still has another year until he graduates. I never expected that our home would be childless for this summer of 2014, as I envision that while our oldest was off in the world, our youngest would do what I did as a pending High School Senior - work a little, hang out with friends at the beach and enjoy the summer to the fullest in the town where I grew up. But on June 24th, 2014, our youngest stepped onto a plane - all by himself - and ventured off into the wild blue yonder to the west to work the lands on his grandfather’s wheat farm.

I did very well containing the motherly sorrow that was doing its best to reveal itself through my glassy eyes and quivering bottom lip. Yes, any plane travel has me feeling a bit unnerved, but ok lets be honest as I know I'm not fooling anyone reading this,  I was feeling the stinging emotions that I was already missing my babies beyond the point of heartbreak, but what kind of mother would I be if I instilled the same worry/upset into my child, especially on the day he was leaving for a great summer vacation/work opportunity or my oldest driving out to the west like he did earlier this year. So instead I took on the -You’ll be fine have a great time, wish I was going - strategy to conceal my pending grief of change. He kept telling me not to cry, which tells me, that both of babies are no longer babies as they understand how this mom and dad are feeling and that they do their best to give comfort back to us. I gave him a hug and said that I loved him, I also let him know that I was going to stay until I saw his plane fade into the distant sky – thank you Southwest for allowing me a gate pass.  I watched the plane pull away from the gate and begin to taxi down the runway and then in less than five minutes it rose into the sky with my young man without my husband and I by his side. A cool reality danced in the pit of my stomach as I felt a deepened sense of estrangement and confusion as to my purpose in this constant and always changing life. “What do I do now?” I wondered to myself.

The tears were there waiting to expose my sorrow as I made my way back to my truck, but for some reason the reality of the situation had not taken its full effect. I felt so alone and the thought of going home scared me, so I decided to wander aimlessly as I looked around the Wal-Mart that had always been more like a field trip when my boys were younger. The store didn’t feel the same something was missing. The memories of their little voices could only be heard within my mind asking for this toy or that toy, as I walked past the kid section of the store. It was then, this mom and her want to be stronger than her feelings, felt the warming wetness of endless tears rolling down my checks and dampening the t-shirt upon which they fell. Mom was right – I was standing there wondering - “where did the time go?”  

Upon speaking with other mother’s about my first couple of days in the “Empty Nesters” training, they too shared with me how it affected them and it took some longer than others to learn how to cope with this huge life change. One had even remarked how she wished she had documented her struggles and challenges as she and her husband continued to move forward in their new life adventures as a couple with their kids out exploring the world. Others told of the sorrow of a phone that didn't ring as must as they had hoped, but with technology they would get a text or two letting them know all was well. It was the willingness of these women sharing their stories that still brought tears to their eyes, that inspired this starving artist and writer onto a new blogging path, my mission – Sharing my trials and tribulations over the next several weeks to see how I do or  what I didn’t cope well doing during this temporary life change. Maybe you - my fellow readers out there will be inspired to share your own tips, strategies and ideas that you used when you entered the “Empty Nesters” program.

Now there is one great thing about all of this: We have something to really look forward to, besides our sons coming home - My husband and I will also be heading west, to enjoy some desperately needed vacation time and to visit our oldest son and pick up our youngest son before the school year begins again. I hope you come back as I update you on our progress, and feel free to share any positive suggestions you may have for myself or to the millions of others out there who are feeling the changes as their children venture out into this great big world.

I decided it was time to post my Throwback Thursday moments. So here it goes. I want to share a little something, of course a piece of music that comes to mind and some memories of my babies over the years. Enjoy your throwback Thursday and I’ll blog ya later.  Thanks for reading.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyb_gaXhCTk

 

Reese and his friend Marlena working on his first truck 4/2014

Ryan Graduation 2013

 

 

 

 

 



Ryan 2012 Winner of the Demolition Derby

Ryan 5 and Reese 3

 

Ryan and Reese March 1998

 

Ryan 3 days old

 

Reese 1 month old

Ryan 19 and Reese 16 Christmas 2013

The Tragic Nursery Rhyme

Hello once again. Yes, I have been off line for a spell. As many of you know, I had a new book that came out, TWISTED: Creepy Tales from a mother's mind, sooner than it was supposed to on Amazon.com.

 

It was to debut in June on the night of the full moon - Friday the 13th, but I soon learned I have no control over publishers and their time schedules. My personal scheduled has been excessively filled to the brim and being a mother I have found that when people say the baby age for children is the easiest - They are SO right. I just recently sent my oldest son out into the world about six states away to experience life in the mid-west. As a city boy, I can say - he's doing better out there every day.  My younger son, will finish his last day of his Junior year in High School today, and then he too, will be heading to the mid-west to spend his summer/several weeks on his grandfathers wheat farm until my husband and I go out and pick him up. So that leaves me and my husband in a new life experience called - Empty Nesters. Something tells me - we'll prevail. (smile). 

 

Now why did I title this blog today "The Tragic Nursery Rhyme", you ask?  All because of a Birthday card my youngest son got for a friend.  This is what it read - enjoy.  Happy Monday Everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The Tragic Nursery Rhyme"

 

 

 

Jack wasn't nimble,

Jack wasn't quick,

He fell on your cake,

and burned his......

 

 

 

 

corduroys

 



 

 



"The Haunted Treeline : The Legend of Mr. Witticker"

 

Good Morning Everybody!  How are you this fine sunny wintery morning in April? I wish I knew what was up with this weather - it's like a great mystery thriller - you never know what is coming next. So in keeping with the crazy weather and the mystery of - "Who keeps stealing spring", I've come up with a story that actually was inspired by my husband while we were at a party with friends. Now remember, as you read this, it is based on true life events, so that I could embellish it and make it twistedly spooky, just like I like it, OK, and I just couldn't help myself. My husband always says to people – “Be careful what you say and do, my wife’s a writer.” Enjoy.

 

 

 

The Haunted Treeline

The Legend of Mr. Witticker

Original Story based on true life events and written by: Stacey L. Bolin

A warm Saturday afternoon early in the month of April steadily descended as the sun slowly began retreating from the sky.  For most of the day the Mercury inside a house thermometer was doing its best to grasp onto the line that said 81 degrees, while the temperatures outside were slipping into something a little cooler. It was days like this that were more than welcome after the horrendous winter that had captured the sleepy little town of Neewollah and continued to linger long after the first day of spring – winter just didn't seem to want to end.

Mindy and Evan Cooper had made most of their day, at a flea market trying to sell the needless things that in years past, they thought they had to have.  They knew that it wasn’t going to reap them the big bucks that everyone thinks their items are worth, but to them having more space in their little house and two and a half car garage, meant more to them than any amount of money.  Mindy, a stay-at-home mother of two and an aspiring novelist had worked all winter going through old boxes stored high in the attic and all the closets that appeared to be bulging at the hinges. Her new look on life and the future that lay ahead for her family, had her instill a new mind set – she could only keep what would fit in the largest sized U-Haul truck when they planned on moving in the fall of 2015 – everything else had to go.

The flea market ended by two o’clock and Mindy had done just what she set out to do – she got rid of it all and was going home with nothing. Evan was ecstatic, as in years past when they had attempted to sell their wares before, they always somehow ended up with what seemed like more than what they had brought in the first place.  It was a great feeling to be on their way before the seventy-five other vendors did their best to get off the grounds before a long line of cars begun to form. Their plans were to go home, watch some movies, take a shower and then go out for the evening. Both of their children had plans to be out of the house, that same night, to hang with friends, and so Mindy and Evan decided to accept an invitation to a "Kicking Spring into Gear" bonfire with new friends they had met a few weeks earlier.

As Mindy finished the final touches to her eye-shadow and lipstick, her mind suddenly plagued her with a question that offered her no answer, but she knew who to ask to get one.  

"Evan, do you think I should bring a coat or a light jacket?" Said Mindy, while on her hands and knees, as she spoke through the upstairs floor vent that was directly over the couch where Evan sat, while watching TV, as he waited for a pair of his dark jeans to finishing drying. She was never good at deciding on things when it came to the right thing to wear. Some days she’d wear too much and be hot, other times she’d be cold and there wouldn’t be a sweat-shirt or jacket to be found. Eventually she learned to keep things like this in her car for those, just-in-case-I-need-it moments.

"You might want to, with the crazy weather lately, you never know." He replied, never taking his eyes off the movie that he was watching. As Mindy came down the stairs about ten minutes later the sound of buzzer on the dryer immediately triggered Evan to shout out, "They're finally done! Waa Whooo! HOT JEANS FOR ME!"

"You’re funny." Mindy said with a smile. "What are we going to do for dinner? We don't really need to be there until 7 o'clock."

"You read my mind," Evan replied with a chuckle to his voice, "I was just thinking the very same thing. What do you think about Subway?"

"Sounds great, babe, I could go for a great tasting sub right about now."

“Then Subway it is. Let’s grab what we need and get-ta going.”

They got themselves together and filled a small Coleman cooler with a six pack of Bud Light packed in plenty of ice, and then headed out the door. It was strange for the both of them to be off alone for an evening out together.  For years it seemed that everywhere they went it was always with their children or their plans would end up being cancelled because they couldn't find a babysitter, but now that both their boys were teenagers and both had a license and their own vehicles – Mindy and Evan had the freedom like they once had when they first married.

As they sat in the Subway eating their sandwiches the sounds of a baseball game being broad casted from a local AM radio station filled the quiet moments when their mouths were filled with food. It was obvious to the employees of the establishment that they enjoyed each other’s company as they talked about the notion that this summer was going to be quite the test, as both of their kids would be out west. Their oldest son had scored an employment opportunity while the youngest was going to be spending time with relatives and this would be his last free summer before graduating high school. Mindy and Evan would get their first crack at being Empty-Nester's. It wasn’t something they feared, but it would shake up the daily routines that they  had followed for the past twenty years. They laughed and joked with one another and clearly lost all track of time until Mindy looked up at the clock on the wall.

"Its 7:16, I think we’re going to be late Evan."

"Oh well, it happens. I'm ready to go if you are?"

"Yep, I'm done. I was having so much fun talking about our summer that I forgot we were supposed to be somewhere." she said in a compassionate voice.

"Me too. With the time change, I'm all messed up when the sun is still in the sky after six at night."

They cleaned their table and pushed in their chairs and headed out to their truck. The air outside was just right, not to hot, not to cold. It couldn't get any more perfect than it was at that very moment.  The entire drive they rode with the windows down and the sunroof open. Mindy loved to let her hand surf the wind just over the backup mirrors. It was something she had loved to do ever since she was a small child.

"You know Evan, this is excellent driving weather. Wanna keep going?" she said jokingly.

"I wish." He said with a big smile, "But we have a party to get to. We'll have plenty of time to do big drives this summer."

"I can't wait." Then she took a deep breathe in, sighed and said, “I love this kind of evening air it's so relaxing, but I'm also glad we are getting out of the house to do something together and I really hope this party is as much fun as the last one.”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Evan questioned rather puzzled she’d say such a thing.

“It’s a full moon and if anything is going to go wrong, it would be on a night of a full moon.” She said in her mysterious reader voice and then started to laugh in her best witches cackle.

“You’re a nut” Evan chuckled again.  He clearly loved those witty ways about her, he couldn’t explain them, but he loved them just the same.

“Evan, do you think they know the story about Mr. Witticker?” a chill raced up her back. Just saying the name still haunted her and the memories of what she was told when she was a young child.

Evan shook his head in disbelief that Mindy would go as far as bringing up such a horrific story that still has never been proven. “For their sake, I hope not,” he said rather tensely, “Let’s just have a good time and not make this a ghost story telling bonfire. Can you promise me that much?”

“I guess so, but they live so close to where it all happened…”

(To be continued…April 17, 2015)

 

I Was Lost but Now I'm Found

 

I Was Lost but Now I'm Found

By: Stacey L. Bolin

Hello again, to all my follow readers and new readers just joining us. First off, I must extend my sincerest apologies for my inability to keep up with my writing over the past three months, but as I walk around my home, I have been completely lost for words. I have been dealing with the sounds of the past in my head of the pitter patter of little feet and innocent voices asking me for a drink of water, to play, or take the peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the VCR. I'm breathless as my heart longs for those days that now only live through pictures and memories. My ability to fight the tears that find me daily - has become a losing battle, yet somewhere inside me I know that crying and reliving the past is not going to change anything – and that ol' clock of time will keep ticking whether my watch has a battery or not. It was today, as the morning sun shone brightly through my office window while I sat in front of my computer, that I realized that when my days around my home were quiet and lonely - it was my ability to compose words into stories that brought me great joy in the time alone until my family came home at the end of the day. And so, I’ve decided to do what I do best when I need to touch my life with the comforts of words – write.

 

I'd like to think I am a strong person, bounce back kind of woman that can hold in and hide what hurts me - deep within to conceal it from the rest of the world. I'm wrong to think that as I transition into another life change that I'm not dealing with as best as I thought I could. When we think of change, we think of moving, seasons, new jobs, health and so much more. My change is my life as a mother and watching my babies that are testing out their new wings and the future that is rolling out before them. It hurts my heart and it rattles my soul as I wonder silently in my mind, “Where did the time go?” I miss my babies; I miss their sweet smell, their first steps, their first tooth, and their first birthdays - their little hands in mine as they grew through the years. For some reason I never allowed myself to see past my denial that they would grow up and one day be out on their own - once again that naïve side of me strikes again.

 

It all started with the graduation of my first born in 2013 and then both of my sons getting their license that very same year. I knew it then, this life was only going to get harder as my needs continue to grow for constant reassurance, I'd be ok and that they’d be ok. I know that emotionally I will get through the endless notion - my babies will one day move out into this great big world and that they will need me in different ways. But for now, I fear the days of an empty nest and trying to find my purpose as sporadic thoughts rush in and out of my mind, some of which make no sense to me and show up at the strangest time. Taking the trash out, I’m suddenly wondering - Will my husband still love this woman that is growing old as we watch the children we created - spread their wings and fly? While doing laundry I find myself always thinking - Will I figure out how to make meals for two and not have an abundant amount of left overs? Will my children call me to tell me about their day? Ok, I'm being ridiculous I don't worry about those things all the time yet it feels like it, but the one thing that waves hello to my thoughts daily and I have no idea why – the idea of being abandoned and not wanted, but I also believe this is the trickery that the brain can play and what it really boils down to is my own insecurities and - Will I still be needed.

 

I've had so many ladies share with me that they had felt the same way when their children had one foot out the door. That they had been so used to making most of  the decisions, day in and day out. Then while providing for the families in their homes for so long, that when their kids were on their own and the house was quite until their husbands came home, they forgot who they were and how to just be in the now and move forward. They also shared that they found ways to find themselves that extended beyond employment – they explored a hobby, a passion, joined an art class, something that would be just for them. Immediately I knew what I had to do. So as I battled the realization that this nest would soon be empty, I began to work tediously compiling my written works – which is not easy when it comes time to submit materials to a publisher. As you may had seen, on my blog, a few weeks past about a book of short stories that I wrote entitled “Twisted” – well I just learned that it will be out on Amazon in May of this year. My hopes – agents out there see that I harbor multiple talents and that my new found time in my days brings me opportunities that will benefit the movie makers of today and in the future and also benefits my family as we step into each tomorrow that life grants us.

The memories of my days as a stay at home mother will always be cherish, as I feel the empowerment of knowing I was told that would I never be able to have children – and I had two, and the doctors that said that my cancer would never be cured – here I am 20 years later. And the greatest feeling is that one day my husband and I will hear the sounds of the past living in the future through our grandchildren and the pitter patter of their little feet and their innocent voices asking us for a drink of water, to play, but as for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a VCR – hum, guess I’ll have to wait and see on that one. Maybe we’ll keep our VCR for just that one special occasion. And on that note, it’s time I get back to my newest in novels that I am composing, but I see my days as a writer on my blog being just what the doctor ordered and to get started immediately.  (BIG SMILE)

Happy Thursday Everyone and if I haven’t said it in a while – thanks for supporting me by reading my blog and buying my books – means the world to me.

 

Today's music choice to me is not seen as an association to any one religion or death, I see this as life ever changing and the power that music can have to inspire new great thought and ideas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GD-5mRyaJw   - Andre Rieu - Amazing Grace