"Life Has A Way of Just Happening"

Below is a true story. I was given consent to write about this, but chose to protect the identity of those outside of our family.

Song that inspired the story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSJbYWPEaxw

"Life Has A Way of Just Happening"

In everyone’s life, people, known and unknown, will step in front of you without any warning and alters one’s path in life. Some interactions are merely a nod of one’s head, or a smile accompanied by a greeting of hello, or excuse me, if you happen to be standing in their way as they walk by. Other times it could be simply a look that turns into conversation or an introduction by one person to another. This is how life has a way of changing people and often times how new friends and acquaintances are made.

Over the weekend I was introduced to a very sweet family that had been invited to the Tractor Pulling event, which we attend every year, by my oldest son who was pulling in one of the heats. It was because of our family involvement with the Halloween Happening at the Anne Arundel Country Fair Grounds in October each year, and their love for Halloween; they were introduced to my husband and me to learn more about our yearly ghoulish delight in scaring people. Their daughter was the first of the family to speak with us. She talked about her love for Halloween and where she went to school and various teen things, but you could see the sorrow behind her smile. She spoke of general topics with the exception of one that was due to the result of my asking her if the couple sitting on a bench near the announcer’s box was her Mom and Dad. Her reply was more than I bargained for. With a quick pause, she answered. "Yes it is. Mom and dad were married twenty years, but got divorced. They are trying to work things out." That was a response that I never expected but placed in the back of my mind as her mother walked our way. When I was finally introduced to her mother, I noticed mom wore the same type of smile. Clearly something was wrong and their look was all too familiar.

***

Have you ever seen someone you didn't know yet you feel an unexplained connection? Then suddenly your finding yourself in a conversation that is so deep and so personal you ask yourself, "Do I, or did I know this stranger at some point?" Then you ask yourself this question as you find that the problems they are currently facing relate to something you have already experienced yourself or maybe the situation was different but the hurt of a bad situation harbors the same pain and sorrow within ones heart and soul as you once felt yourself. I honestly think this is a way that our guardian angels shows us that we all heal in our own time from whatever made us feel emotionally conflicted.  That at some point in our lives and when we do overcome our pain, we must pass the life lessons we have learned to others  as merely a tool to guide those facing their own challenges as they climb their own ladder of life.  I knew this meeting was a reason far greater than myself, yet what my family and I have faced over the years would help them in some small way.  

***

I knew that smile as my mother wore the same one when my father became tempted by another, which eventually resulted in their divorce. I kept the conversation on what I knew best - Halloween.  I could see they needed to talk and more importantly they needed someone to not only listen, but in some way, understand without judgment. It wasn’t until later on in the day, they both confided in me what had been troubling them. What I learned was the pains of a daughter struggling with the inability to connect with the most important man in her life, her father, and to find the love and positive attention that she needs to feel from him. I found a father that is trying to find himself and a sense of love since the death of a very close family member several years ago and a wife that had been hurt by this same man who is now her ex-husband because of his choice to be with another during their marriage. With all that they had shared with me, my heart had me thinking that this family wants to be together, but due to the nature of the hurt, their hearts are guarded as they fear the hurt will repeat – and that was a coping mechanism I knew all too well.

I was puzzled as to why, myself being a perfect stranger, would they share such deep emotional feelings with me. Maybe they somehow knew I once wore the same smile as the daughter does. I could relate to her words. I knew this life once, but then I was not mature enough to even begin to comprehend what was truly going on inside the mind, body and soul of a 13 year old. I’m 43 now, and I only learned a year ago what I was going through during my childhood years. That is a long time to push feelings aside because you don’t know how to talk to people about it. I was pleased to know that she had not been like I once was and chose to open up and let the hurt out. As for her mother, I can’t say that I have ever had the love of my life stray. I’ve had other men that I have dated and loved in my life, stray, but I took that as more of a get out jail free card because I only loved them, but was not in love with them (Yes there is a BIG difference) and quickly found my freedom until my true love came along. The one thing I could relate to, the struggles to lose weight and the female emotions that go with it. Her additional hurt came from, her now ex-husband, believing her weight loss was a way to engage in extra marital relations with other men, however these accusations were the result of his way of hiding that in fact, he was going outside of their marriage and into the arms of another.

But in all of the turmoil that they are struggling with, I know they will one day find the strength to overcome the hurt and reconnect, maybe not as man and wife, but as a man, woman and the child that they created together.  I was so happy to see the man of the family was very comfortable talking with my husband and they found there was a common interest between them – They both were die hard country boys and both were stuck in the city with the hopes of one day getting back to a life of peace and quiet. When we all talked together, it was as if we had been old friends catching up on the times and we decided to get together the next day for good food and conversation  as we were forced to say our goodbyes to another weekend. My hubby and I shared a lot about how some of the significant events in our lives had knocked us off our path of positive thinking, but with time, things got better and we realized that the most important things we see in people we know,  in people we meet, and even looking within ourselves, people all desire the peace of mind of knowing they are loved and to be shown love. RESPECT. Everyone needs affection and compassion. We all want to be appreciated and know that people listen when spoken too. If all else, EVERYONE has a story to tell. Take the time to listen people. Who knows you just might discover the beginnings of a new found friendship you never thought you’d find and took a negative part of someones life and make it positive for them again.

NMCB 5 ROLL CALL - DESERT SHIELD/STORM 90-91

Today starts the tedious task of finding members of the green machine from Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 5 that had been part of Desert Shield/Desert Storm 90-91. My husband and I have created a Facebook Page entitled:http://www.facebook.com/pages/Looking-For-Nmcb-5-Desert-Shielddesert-Storm-90-91-Urgent,  which will also have the listing of men that were part of NMCB 5. If you have any information on the whereabouts of these men you can send an email to: nmcb-five90-91@hotmail.com Subject: GWV 90/91

If you know any of the men listed below please have them or their family member’s contacts us ASAP. These are the names and ranks at the time of this deployment in 90-91. Names that are underlined are people we have found. 

Names were retrived from the NMCB 5 - Home of the Desert Seabees Operation Desert Shield/Storm Cruise Book. If I were to assume, I would think many names and ranks were typed incorrectly, but I've learned the hard way what assuming can do to a person. So forgive me if you find errors and please send us the corrections.

NAMES CAME OUT OF THE CRUISE BOOK

I have been informed that not all of your names appear,

please contact us so that we can update this information if you or someone

you knew is not listed.  

ALPHA COMPANY - EO3 Michael S. Ainsworth, EO1 Peter P. Ackley, CMCA Emieroy T. Alcomendas, CMCN Hubert E. Arnold, EOCM Vincente C. Aspuria, CM3 Paul H. Ballard, EOCN John R. Balog, EOCN Charles D. Bates, CMCN Bertram Benally, EOCN Todd J. Boltz A.K.A. Profitt, EO3 Kenneth Boyenga, CMCN Jeffrey R. Brown, CM3 Robert D. Campbell, EO3 Teddy B. Catabay, EO3 Andy L. Cauble, CM1 Timothy J. Chapman, CMCN Dennis R. Conner, EO1 Michael D. Coon, EO1 Bob j. Crandall, CM2 Justin W. Crawford, CM3 John S. Crawford, EOCN Sean T. Cumiskey, EO3 Joseph P. Cusanelli, CM1 George L. Delvalle, E)3 Michael A. Diehl, CMCS Joseph C. Domogalla, EOCN Jon L. Doney, CM2 Donovan J. Dressel, CMCN Jamed D. Dunbar, CMC David A. Duske, ENS Mark K. Edelson, CM3 Eric Espinoza, CMCN Bernard K. Evans, EO3 John A. Ford, EO3 Mark D. Fowler, CE2 Joy G. Gacuya, CE3 Gallagher, EO3 Gay, EO3 Geary, EOCN Giles, CM3 Gill, CMs Godfrey, EOCN Godfrey, EO3 Gradillas, EO3 Gregory, CMCN Greshaw, EO1 Haney, CM1 Hanggi, EO2 Michael Hebb, EOCS Hebener, CMS Heflin, CM3 Heintzelman, MTC Higgs, CMS Hildebrant, EO1 Hill.

EOCN Tracy L. Holt, SW3 Curtis J. Houchins, CM2 Ronald S. Houston, CMC John R. Huber, EOCN Brent D. Hummel, CM2 Robert J. Hummel, EOCN Irvin B. Johnson, EO2 Steven W. Johnson, EO1 Dwayne R. Jones, CM3 Jason M. Jordan, CMCN Joseph B. keehner, CMCN Bryan J. King, EOCN Frank H. King, SW3 Leonard T. Koelbel, EOCN Dennis E. Kuhl, CM2 David K. Kuntz, CM3 Timothy D. Lamm, CMCA Jay J. Lear, EOCN Raymond J. Loftus, EO2 David D. Longoria, EOCN Nick A. Lopez, EOCN Todd Luck, EO2 Kevin A. Magallones, EO3 Eric R. Marquart, CM2 Corwyn A. Martin, EOCA David Martzen, CMCN Michael P. Martzen, CMCN Andrew M. Mceathron, EO3 Jeffry D. Mcgrath, EO3 Timothy E. Mcintyre, CM3 Scott N. Mclean, EO3 Schoot R. McMahan, CMCN George T. Mcneil, EO1 George E. Molina, CM1 Christopher J. Monti, EOCR Joshua M. Morse, EO3 Robert K. Narkis, CM3 Bryant L. Neiswanger, EO3 Eric F. Olson, EOC Albert B. Otineru, CMCN Steven M. Paddock, CMCN Willian C. Phelps, EOCN Maurice A. Rayburn, EOCN Jonathan P. Resh, CMCN Frederick J. Rhoads, CMCN Richard E. Ripley, EOCN Omas T. Roberts, CM1 Edward A. Ross, CM3 John S. Rydzewski, EOCN Todd M. Schau, EOCN Kelly G. Scott, MR1 Douglas H. Shannon, CMCN Scott C. Smith, EO3 John W. Snelson, EO2 Peter “T” Starr, CMCN John F. Stevenson, EO3 David A. Straub, EO1 Daniel M. Stroba, EOCA Songwut S. Summerlin, EO3 Anthony B. Teart, EOCN Awndre N. Thompson, HT1 Daniel S. Thompson, CMCN Melvin D. Turner, CM! Leroy A. Vandergalien, EO2 Matthew C. Volker, EO3 Keith A. Walker, EOCN Charles E. Weathered, EOCN Dale R. Williams, EOCN Joshua C. Williams, EO3 Fredric A. Wilson, CMCN Stevie C. Wright, CMCN Clint K. Yogi, EOCN Juan E. Zeballos, EOCN Andy Steward, CMCN Jerry D. Pennington, EO2 Matthew C. Maurice, EO3 English Daniel,

BRAVO COMPANY – CECN Jeffrey S. Adair, UTCN Scotty L. Alendinger, UT1 Robert E. Anderson, CE3 Jeffrey L. Appleton, UTC Philip A. Balmforth, BUCA Caron N. Bates, CE1 Robert G. Blest, CE3 Tony T. Calhoun, CE 1 Jose A. Cervantes, ENS Mark B. Chenoweth, CECN Patrick O. Collins, UT2 George P. Conley, CE3 John W. Crooke, CECN Joseph D. Cummings, UT1 Edward S. Davis, UTCN Sean C. Dickson, CECA Joseph V. Dlugos, CE3 Harry L. Estes, UT3 Martin P. Fallstich, CE1 Bernard K. Fawcett, UT3 Paul C. Fielding, UT2 Delbert D. Fischer, UT2 Mark A. Fisher, CEC Craig M. Flanagan, CE3 Michael P. Gallagher, UT3 James D. Gipson, CE3 Marlon I. Gomez, UT3 Charle R. Grace, UTCN Alex D. Gray, CE2 George E. Guiterrez, UTCA Keneth S. Hall, UT3 Rich T. Harris, CECN Robert E. Hall, UT3 Douglaes E. Havens, UT3 Scott A. Helmbrecht, UT3 Steven J. Jackson, UT1 Norman W. Johnson, VE3 John W. Jones, UTCN Kevin J. Jones, UT2 Jerry W. Lair, CECS John A. Lang, CE3 Nick T. Lazaro, CECN Vincent F. Lercara, UT3 John N. Logan, UTCA Clinton L. Lyons, UTCN Keith Y. Lyons, CE1 Fredrick J. Mallette, UTCA Gregory A. Maracel, UTCA Daniel E. Marx, UT1 Lee O. Masters, BUCA Kent D. Matthews, CE1 Michael P. Maushardt, UT3 John T. Mccleary, CE3 Juan C. Melgarejo, UT3 David W. Mescher, BUCN Xavier A. Meza, UT2 Eric G. Miller, UTCA Roger A. Nelson, CECN Stacy K. Overton, CE2 Marc W. Peterson, CECN Adam B. Pitman, CE3 Edgar C. Poblete, CE3 Gregory E. Reynlds, CECN Pablo R. Romero, UT3 Shannon J. Sargent, LT David J. Sasek, CE2 Michael J. Seever, UT3 Gary S. Shose, CECN Kendoll G. Thomas, CE3 Mark Thresher, CECN Julio C. Velez, CE3 Yulin N. Wright.

CHARLIE COMPANY – BUCN Robert D. Almon, SW3 Theodore M. Anderson, SW1 Stephen P. Auton, BUCA Wellington Bargar, BU2 Arnulfo C. Bernales, SW3 gary A. Blackburn, BUCA Dustin R. Bowser, BU1 James K. Brewster, BU3 Roy M. Brochu, BU3 Michael D. Burgin, BU2 William B. Burney, BUCN John P. Buss, SW3 Jeffrey R. Callens, BUCA Steven L. Cardwell, BUCN James A. Caston, BUCA Bruce M. Characky, SW3 Alan L. Charpentier, BU2 John A Chasse, BU3 John C. Cooper, BUCR Richard M. Corlett, BU1 Thomas R. Cummings, BUCA Kelly L. Davis, BU3 Mark R. Denson, BUCA Christopher M. Eix, SW2 Anthony N. Enweluzor, BU3 Steven L. Erhart, BU1 James S. Ficklin, Lt Alan W. Flenner, BU2 Douglas C. Forester, SWCN Jeffrey T. Fuhmann, SN Jose R. Gonzalez, BUCA Eric B. Hansford, BU1 Kevin D. Harris, BU2 Daniel W. Hastings, BUCN landan J. Henson, BU3 Dale W. Herbert, BUCN David H. Hogue, BU3 David J. Holden, BU3 Matthew F. Hollenbaugh, BUCA Matthew M. Hildreth, BUCN Steven M. Johnson, BU2 Eugene I. King, EOCN Frank H. King, BU3 Andrew S. Knadler, BU3 Charles M. Labounty, SW3 Robert Laird, SW3 Douglas S. Lewis, SWCA Dwight E. Lowes, SWCN Timothy J. Mactavish, BUCN Danny L. Martin, SW3 Billy G. Marvel, SW2 Michael G. Mathis, BU2 Charles V. Mcclaugerty, BU3 Thomas L. MckeeCMCN George T. Mcneil, SWCN Patrick J. Messinger, BUC Walter A. Mistler, SWC Tommy L. Moore, BU3 Charles C. Munoz, BUCN Craig D. Norkus, BUCN Shawn T. Noto, SWCN Terrence P. Obrien, BUCN Randall K. Penley, BU3 Andrew R. Phillips, SW1 Edward O. Price, BUCN David L. Ramirez, BUCN Timothy P. Reich, BU2 Roger L. Roach, BUCA Dennis L. Salazar, BU2 Jamey J. Scheuring, BUCA Robert J. Sebe, SW2 Daniel J. Spicer, BU3 Steven C. Stubberud, SW3 Timothy R. Switzer, HT1 Daniel S. Thompson, BU3 Craig S. Tracy, BU3 Steven M. Umfleet, BUC Robert D. Wade, BUCN Darrin T. Wergeland, BU3 Coleman R. Wilson, BU3 Robert D. Wright, BUCA Donn C. Zorens, BU2 William L. Loveall, BU3 Mark Denson, SWCN Derek Jacquette,

DELTA COMPANY – BUCN Michael P. Allbritton, BU3 Caludio M. Alcanter, SWCN Derrek G. Allen, BUCN Pete N. Atkins, BUCA Declan D. Baggot, SW3 Frank C. Baughman, SWCN Eric A. Biwer, SW3 Alan E. Bonham, BU2 Douglas R. Bowman, BUCA Scott A. Brodbeck, SW3 Jeffrey Carter, SW1 Terry L. Clary, BU2 Michel F. Cowart, BUCN George R. Davenport, BUCA Theodore Davis, BUCA Matthew A. Domiguez, BUCA Danielkeith A. Farmer, BU1 James T. Gibbons, BU2 Michael E. Goben, BU2 Marvin P. Green, SWC Terry W. Gurley, BU3 Bryan E. Haddad, BU3 Charles J. hard, BU3 Lance J. Heizler, BU2 Michael A. Hensley, BUCN Lee H. Huffine, BUCN Mario L. Jackson, BU2 Brian K. Jones, SW3 David M. Keane, BU2 David R. Korhonen, BUC Dennis A. Lassard, BU3 Jason J. Londo, BU3 Jason E. Mattingly, BU3 Michael J. Maxcy, BU3 Todd R. Metzgar, SWCN Wade A. Mitchell, BUCA Kyle M. Moon, BUCA Eric J. Moriello, SW1 Donald Mozingo, BU3 Rudy A. Ortiz, BU3 Sean G. Persson, BU3 William P. Peterson, BUCN Keneth D. Piechowski, BU3 Tom D. Radecki, SW3 Paul N. Riendeau, BUCA James A. Riley, EO3 Omas Roberts, BU2 David M. Ruggeri, BU3 Patrick M. Schmidt, BUCN Daniel G. Sims, SWCN Tommy A. Singleton, BUCN David R. Slayton, BUCN Roger W. Smith, LT. Ralph G. Snow, BO3 James Michael Gourley, BU3 Burnett Starcher, BU1 Larry E. Unrein, SWCN Peter C. Vincent, BUCN Curtis T. Weathersbee.

HEADQUARTERS COMPANY – EACN Peter J. Adams, LT Talmage Adcock, LT Richard C. Ahlstrom, BUC Robert F. Alverez, MSGT Albert F. Ambriz, SKC Craig S. Amrose, EOC Shawn M. Babb, CM1 James W. Barnes, SK2 Nonilon N. Bautista, HMC Jay N. Berry, SK3 Robert J. Betts, SK1 Michael M. Brindel, PH3 Patrick W. Brown, DT2 Ronald R. Buckner, EA2 John Botten, SW3 Thomas K. Calhoun, DKC Charles A. Carey, LT Dennis L. Carlson, ET3 Lloyd S. Carnahan, DK3 Dofin A. Castillo, MSC Ceasar, PNSN Troy M. Churchwell, SK3 Marvin E. Clayborn, EACN Josemaria B. Collado, MS2 Rosendo S. Corner, DK3 Roger L. Conley, BUC Joeseph Connely, BU2 Michael S. Cook, EA1 Gregory F. Davis, MSSR Alonzo M. Duckworth, DK2 Joseph N. Dutkowski, BUC Danny M. Duval, YN1 Mark E. Embree, UTCN Marc L. Endsley, BU1 March R. Feldbrugge, PN3 Mark Ferland, MS3 Aldo A. Ferrari, MS3 Bobby D. Fields, SKSN Jack NF Foltynowicz, SK1 Dale J. Fuller, MSGT M. Fulton, PNCM Richardo N. Garza, MS1 Joseph C. Genavia, EA2 Ariel S. Genido, SW1 mark T. Giardina, SK1 Rex L. Godsby, CE2 Mark Harmon, PN2 Christopher S. Harris, SNSN Keith M. Harrison, LT Gregory W. Harshberger, BUCS Stephan E. Haycock, PN3 Eduardo P. Herrera, HM1 Thomas J. Hogan, SKC Lawrence J. Holden, BMC Harold L. Hulst, EOCN David T. Hunter, YNC James K. Huntley, MS2 Oscar A. Issc, ET2 Rob Jensen, YNSN Lucious Johnson, SK2 Thomas Johnson, HM2 Timothy H. Johnson, YN3 Terrence S. Jones, BU1 James M. Keller, LCDR Brian R. Kelm, BU2 Kevin D. Kelso, MS2 Kevin M. Kinghan, YN3 Willie Kinsey, PC2 William F. Kline, SKSN Tommy Krusha, SK3 Paul R. Kuchler, MS3 Real T. Lachapelle, Lt Brian J. Lair, Lt Joseph M. lara, CM3 David T. Larder, CE3 Armand J. leblanc, EA2 Michael E. Lee, DK3 Shek S. Lee, MA1 Craig Lohner, MS2 Carlos Lopez, SK2 Nick A. Lopez, BU3 Richard A. Mack, SH1 Abraham E. Marrero, BUCN Donald E. May, PN1 Romeo V. Mercado, BU1 Gregg A. Morrison, MS3 Darryl Morgan, EA3 Carl R. Neuser, BU1 Mark A. Nowinski, SK2 Miguel A. Ortez, YN3 Keith M. Pahl, Lt Douglas G. Petersen, SK3 Roderick O. Powell, BU1 Michael L. Priest, LT Daniel T. Ray, MS3 Dale A. Readus, BM3 Mike Rigsby, EA3 James T. Roberts, CWO2 James P. Rolloff, JO1 Paul Russo, SH3 Eddie Scull, MS2 Kevin Shelton, UT1 Jerry W. Shepherd, YN3 Stevie E. Span, DN Ronald L. Stanek, EAC Thomas D. Stanley, EA2 Tracy L. Stewart, PN2 David E. Stumpf, SKSN Ramon R. Tayag, HM3 Brian J. Taylor, SK1 John Thompson, CUCM Clifford J. Tietz, MS3 Edward E. Tookes, SK1 Romeo V. Victoria, LCDR Stephen R. Vonhitritz, SKSN Anthony L. Walker, CAPT David F. Walsh, Lt Todd E. Washington, EA2 Patricio A. Weesit, HM2 John R. Weigel, SH3 Duane D. White, SA Marcus C. Wise, YNSN Julius Yancey, BUCN Jason J. Zanzucchi, CECN Herbert T. Curtis, CECN Oscar Ellis, CECN Michael Logie, BUCA Danielle Prysibella, CE3 Byron A. Lee, UT3 John Logan, UTCN Mays Donald, SW3 Schofield.

"A Mystical Journey - Bound By Love"

Have you ever had something happen to you, that no matter how hard you try, you can't explain it, or refer it to some movie you had seen or a book you have read? This is where I was yesterday when both my husband and I realized that on Sunday, May 6th, 2012 will mark our 20th Anniversary, but yet it feels like we have just met with a new sense of purpose and a new bond that signifies our new chapter of life -Together. I know I wasn't dreaming, however I felt as through I had been or was. Most of our marriage, I have been the one in and out of hospitals, clinics and have undergone various preventative procedures for my medical care. This time the shoe is on the other foot...my husbands. As we walk the road together to relive the memories, good and bad, of his time in Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I have found that when we are together, we can overcome anything and this journey will not be any different. We've almost fallen victim to situations that have tried to push us onto seperate paths by false truths, until our guardian angels remind us,  - "United We Stand - Divided We Fall" - words to live by.  The only way to describe the day, were the feelings that danced around our spoke words, as if this moment was to be explained in this very manner. I have learned, not to fear the words that find me, express them in the way that they appear and embrace them each time they find us.

The song that I have included is what inspired me to bring my words into reality. I don't know what it is, just something about the music, the melody the words. Words and melody go together and that is what makes us sing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJUCpBx_o-I

Curtains - Peter Gaberiel and Jack Wall

"A Mystical Journey - Bound By Love"

By: Stacey L. Bolin

She walked alone in the silence on a path of jagged rock lined by a forest of mature trees to either side, walking to a place unknown. Cold icy winds touched with a gentle rain kissed mist falling upon her face. Her skin is blue, she is cold. Her bare feet, so tried, they help her see through the foggy blanket upon the earth that surrounds her to knee level as an image slowly appears before her. A man filled with much compassion and deep confliction.  She speaks the words she fears that harbor within her daily mind. She reveals she will let him go if he needs to discover, himself, a new life, his unknown  until he discovers what he's lost or if he still loves her. He is her unconditional love, he is her heart, and he is her soul.

His hands warm, his arms strong as he pulls her into him and with a simple serious smile he looks for the answer to the words he sets free from his thoughts - "You couldn't live without me." Her face against his, her voice allows only the sounds of whispers through her tears - "You are so very right. Physically maybe, mentally I would be destroyed." Their embrace tightens, her fears fall aside to bring her soul to life. The painful words, painful thoughts, are free. He smiles as they walk, the wet air grows warm and dry as the cold colors of blue, grey and black begin to change to brown, mossy greens and sky blue. The rays of golden sunlight cast away the mist revealing a path of smooth flat rocks and the brilliance of orange roses lead on a journey, the journey a new. With each step her body begins to warm, her feet - revived There is peace; there is comfort, a bond like none other. This is not death, this is a life, a new beginning, answers revealed. It is the answers they sought, the answers that had always been there, waiting behind the questions never asked. A continued choice bound by love – Till death do us part.

Choked Up Today and Feeling So Small.

H

ello everyone. I am sitting here today in somewhat of a daze and I’d like to share with you what transpired this week that has got me feeling this way. We all know the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for, it may not be what you expect." or "Never Assume", I did not realize how strong these statements would be until I was hit with a large dose of reality, that I was so unaware of. I learned of a very horrific event that took place when my husband and his Battalion were deployed in Desert Shield/Desert Storm. I'm feeling ashamed, stupid, and I feel as large as the speck of dust on my kitchen floor. I never knew what happened in the war or what happened to my love of a lifetime and out of respect for him I must keep the details private. To sum it up in short, he faced many dangerous situations, with one being more than I ever could have imagined - he nearly lost his life. For the last 21 years only a few of his fellow Seabees knew the events that had taken place - I wish so much that I had been one of the few, but God felt that the time was not right for me. For years I would ask him, what happened in Saudi Arabia when he was there? I learned over the years, this was a question never to be asked. I realize that I was very immature with an inability to handle this information for the many years we have been married. I'd like to also think he chose not to tell me, due to all the difficulties that I had to face with battling cancer. I was a very reactive person, quick to jump without all the facts. To best describe me - honestly - I'd be the one in the plane that would say I knew all about sky diving and be the one who'd forget my parachute. Yes, that bad - I heard you wonder if I was really that bad.  I also had a pair of ears that never heard the whole story or I would engage in my selective hearing. So I completely understand why so much time had passed. "There is a time and place for everything"

I was honored and then rendered speechless when one of the men decided that I should know what truly happened and could help me understand things in a different perspective on numerous war veterans and their battles with illness long after the Gulf War.  With each word that was spoken I sank deeper and deeper into my chair feeling so guilty that I had assumed that some rocky places in our marriage had to do with a woman he had worked with years ago.  I had shared this with the caller, to which they replied, "don't worry you’re not the first to think that and how would you know what the problem truly was if nobody told you?" True, and honestly it didn't help when this same woman had been doing their best to suggest that my man had been in their lives intimately. Seriously, why do people do this type of Sh*t? Is it some kind of cheap thrill to spin a web of lies just to see people get hurt?  Well anyway, you see where this naive and clueless mind of mine was then - heading down the long dark path of bullsh*t.  How could I have been so blind?  I am told, that to admit fault is being on the right path to inner peace, healing, awareness.  I admit my flaws, I am not perfect and don’t foresee that I will ever be perfect.  Besides who really wants to be? If people were perfect, we’d be boring…right?

Did I learn a life lesson – Yes indeed, and I shared this with my husband as soon as I could.  I told him that I owed him a huge apology and expressed how small I felt and still feel. To hear what he had been through and  to hear that he never gave up the fight alongside his fellow Seabees – He is my Hero and I'm so proud of him.   I am honored and blessed to have him in my life and nobody could ever fill his boots.  That he is my best friend, my lover, my love of a lifetime, my husband and the father of our children. What a way to start our next twenty years together. I haven't seen him smile this much in years. Oh, and that twinkle in his baby blue eyes, I still melt every time he looks at me. But I can say I know how he feels to get something off his mind. I always feel like a pallet of bricks had been pushed over and my body feels as if I can fly, oh, and I smile a lot too.

So if I had to come up with a quote of life this is what it would be: This is just a draft, so go easy on me.

I have found that less is more, love like you've never loved before, that sometimes life happens with no answers, and what is past...is just that...the past - Leave it there. Be happy with whom you are and with those around you as move forward into the sunshine to deaden the darkened shadows that try to wear you down.  If only I could have been wiser in my younger years. - Stacey Bolin

Never assume anything unless you have all the facts. Never assume that what you’re told is the Gospel until you see it in stone. And the one piece of advice that my husband likes to share, with those who come up with wrong and off the wall conclusions, “Assumptions are the mother of all evil and can destroy you and the ones around you. All else fails...get the facts jack."

 Have a great day and I'll blog you later.

Their Past, Their Present - BUT WHAT ABOUT THEIR FUTURE!?

It's time to be the voice for their change and my voice starts now

As you remember a few weeks ago I had written a blog called "I Want to Know Why!?" I didn't realize that blog was going to open a door to a new journey that will challenge all that I am.  As you know I wrote about a dear friend of my husband who is now battling Lou Gehrig's disease. I was heartbroken, as anyone who knows about this illness knows there is no cure at this time. For me, a huge question began to beat to the rhythm of its own drum when we were told that the VA found him 100% disable. The VA is involved? I immediately thought, that means its Service connected, but how? I also receive VA Benefits and listed disabled. To look at me, you'd never know what I suffer from on a daily basis, but believe you me, it is nothing like what our friend and his family are facing. Something wasn't right, but I put the notion of foul play into the back of my mind for a later date. My womanly intuition told me this was going to be a topic that was going to come knocking on our front door.

We were honored his friend, who I am going to call, his brother, as they are "Brothers in Arms", and his family came to spend a week with us, just before Easter, and we enjoyed the time together to the fullest. I will say I am so glad that my husband was forewarned about the changes his brother is faced with, as I think if we had been told when they got here, it would have been very overwhelming to see and understand. Knowing of his condition a few weeks in advance gave our family time to get familiar with what was happening. His brother's wishes were to see things while he still could, and so we had planned our trips quite strategically so that his brother would not tire so easily, yet could take it all in. Our first of two big trips was on Sunday, April 1, 2012 - The Battlefields and memorials of Gettysburg and the other was on Tuesday, April 3, 2012 - The Air and Space Museum and the National Archives to see the Declaration of Independence, The Bill of Rights, and The Constitution. Both trips were very educational and memorable, but the best memorable moments came in the form of two men sitting on a retaining wall and in the backyard around our makeshift fire pit. Against my will and feared crying in front of them, I managed to say contained as I watched their body languages and listened to the two of them, as they sat for hours on end, reliving their early military days and discuss limited memories on an event that changed both their lives, but just didn't realize how much until 21 years later. They spoke of both the good and the bad times they had faced, with the worst of all - being in the Gulf War during Desert Shield and Desert Storm from August 27, 2012 - April 11, 1991. It was the comment they shared at once, before they quickly diverted from further discussing it - Being covered in the black soot from the 700 or so, burning oil fields and that never ending taste in their mouths - burnt oil.

Now you all know that I am big one for dates, events, and how they seem to all relate years later. Here it was, Friday, April 13th. Now I used to be one that feared Friday the 13th, until my younger son was born on Friday the 13th in June of 97. This day is now a blessing as my husband and I had created another life after being told we couldn't have any children. This was also an anniversary time frame for my husband. It had been 21 years since that moment when my husband returned to his base command, on April 11, 1991 to be exact, after being deployed to Saudi Arabia nine months earlier. It is not a time in his life that he shares willingly with anyone, with the exception of his "Brother in Arms". I didn't know my husband then, but it was during this time of their return that I was stationed at the same base going through my "A" school training as a builder.

Now have you ever heard of someone being triggered to remember something that for years has blocked for reason/s often stemming, or could be stemming from some form of Post Traumatic Stressors? Remember what I had said about the womanly intuition - well the topic didn't knock on our front door, it found a place in our mailbox instead.

On April 13, 2012 a letter arrived in our mailbox. In this letter was a past that my husband had chosen to block out, with the hopes to never relive the events, especially the dates that were indicated: Feb 24, 91 - Feb 28, 91. My husband not knowing what the letter had contained, asked me to read it while we drove to the Anne Arundel County Fairgrounds to do our volunteer ground maintenance. Our Job - cut and weed whack the overgrown grass for the flea market the next day. As I unfolded it, I immediately noticed it had been addressed to my husband’s parents as the author of the letter did not know of my husband’s whereabouts in the world.

As I read the letter out loud, my heart began to pound harder and harder wanting to burst through the walls of my chest. Fear was not only standing in front of me, it had grabbed me by the shirt and was doing its best to take me out. My breath quickened and my voice gone - It was bad news from one of the men he was with in Saudi Arabia. He too is also very sick and has been for years with what appears to be related to the Gulf War and where they were.  He spoke of an event that I could see stealing the smile from my husband face as he drove. It was a memory that had been locked far deep inside his mind and was rushing back to shake him up once again. This memory - It was on February 24, 1991, his 21 birthday, and it could have been the date of his death too. Upon reading the materials the letter contained, I was learning the complexities of the man that sat beside me and the pieces of a scattered puzzle, which almost result in our divorce, that began to come together providing answers to many questions. I knew I had to find out what happened to the men of Battalion 5.

How haunting a feeling it was, as I began to research chemical warfare in the Iraqi war and the quiet destruction that would plague the troops years later, after their returned to American soil. They had no idea they were about to face the worst war ever, the war within ones mind, body and soul and this was just beginning. The Military kept blind eyes and deaf ears to endless requests for answers. This time, those answers will be found, not only for my husband, it includes a battalion of men who, for all we know, have their own struggles and don't have the voice, the strength or the finances they need to band together. From one Seabee to another - I will be your voice. Today starts a new quest in finding the green machine from Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 5, that had been part of Desert Shield/Desert Storm 90-91. My husband and I have created a Facebook Page so that this list of men can all be checked as found.  https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Looking-Four-Nmcb-5-Desert-Shielddesert-Storm-90-91-Urgent/374788309226812 If you have any information on the whereabouts of these men you can send an email to: nmcb-five90-91@hotmail.com Subject: GWV 90/91

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Can a dream really come true - twice? The Final Saga

So the time had finally come. Being my first attempt at trying to sell my book to Hollywood, I was more calm that maybe I should have been. I just don’t know how to explain the feeling. When I walked in the room, there were 7 tables in a horseshoe type layout in a room that looked identical to the photograph of the room, from yesterday’s blog.  Table #1, a female with red curly hair and a green and gold strip scarf. She greeted me like we were long lost college roommates. I immediately felt comfortable, read my pitch and she went on to ask me the ever warned about, never answer no matter what question. If you had to pick someone to play you, who would it be?  Now I had only spoken two three people about who I thought (PERSONALITY WISE) would be an excellent actress to play my part – Charlize Theron, but the last thing I was going to do was say a name. So what does one do when the person you are speaking too, insists on a name – YOU STILL DON’T PROVIDE ONE! That is a big red “NO-NO” in the business. So now, the executive decided to give her opinion and what does she say – Charlize Theron. “SAY WHAT!?” 

OK, so now I am in total belief that I am being scammed 100%, or on some kind of “Punked” show. No way would she know what I was thinking. All I could do was laugh and at the same time went on full guard mode,  but I had to remember, there was a great probability that none of these people have ever heard about my book, let alone picked it up and read it. I smiled and simply answered as many of the executives questions as I could and when the time was up  I moved on to the next executive. To describe this process in two words, just think of - Speed Dating. Another gentleman asked what genre is was. This was though, as it could be listed on many types such as; romance, mystery, religion, medical, cancer survival. I kept saying it was multi-genre, but he wanted one answer and I think I blurted our Medical thriller. I should have said “Multiple. You know, as in orgasm.” Yep he would have really remember me then. Wink, you know what they say…sex sells.

 I sensed that all of them understood what I was trying to portray. I guess I’d know in a few days if any of them liked it.  With all of the executives in the room, overall, it was like they had all been old friends and that is just how I acted with them. I was myself. I didn’t get into the theatrics of crying or into the drama overload. I was just me. If they liked me and what my story was about, they’ll ask for my manuscript when the time comes, if not, then it’s just the No’s I need to get to the most important part of my journey – when someone finally takes a chance on my writing and my story and says – Yes.  

I had a total of fourteen minutes, two minutes for each table, to wow them. What I had come to do, was now done. All that was left was the crying or the cheering that maybe I could move to the next step.  I walked out of the room with no regrets. No need fretting over something that was in their hands now, and I told myself before I ever walked in the door, “Hollywood is filled with produces, who’s to say these executives will be the ones, maybe they are not even connected with any productions company, maybe they were paid actors to play the part to make me believe my dreams could come true. As you can see, my duel personality is still in a fight with itself. Half of me say’s to believe that this is all really happening and the other half says, question, question, question. When I left the room, I was overjoyed to see my husband and Mr. Ogorek enjoying a nice leisurely chat about Nebraska football and what happens when you wear the wrong color to a red game. The three of us chatted briefly and then my husband and I decided to go back to our room to get changed for the closing remarks that would bring “Pitch Fest Las Vegas 2012” to a close later that evening. I had decided that since I had been in dresses and wearing very uncomfortable shoes, because they matched, I wanted something still casually dressy with a comfortable heel. Wow that's an oxy-moron - comfortable heels. Ha-ha to funny.  If I only knew what was in store for my husband and I after the event, I would have opted to bring my exercise shoes.

I call this outfit - my closing ceremony clothes

My husband and I sat at one of the table and as things wrapped up, our eyes started to twinkle - PARTY TIME! Now the event ended sharply at 6:30 that Saturday night and we were on the monorail by 6:45 heading to the Bellaigo to watch their Dancing water show. We were so disappointed to find out that the 7:00 show that was just a small sampling of what the real show had in store. You see, we were unaware that the big show was scheduled for 8:00 that night, not 7:00. Well guess it's just another thing to add our to-do list when we go back out that way this summer with family.

We decided to take in the Vegas strip on foot and boy did we see some sights. Many were stunning in the dusky of a soon to be evening sky. Other sights, well folks, all I can ask is that you trust me when I say we saw a lot of things, good and bad. The good were the lights of each hotel so uniquely different from others, with each having their own way of enticing you to come through their doors and enjoy a night on the town. 

There was one area where tall slender women stood with their high feathered headdresses on with tight sheer body suits covering their toned bodies and high heels that made them look like heeled ballerina slippers. My husband nearly fell into a patron walking in front of him when one of these beauties caught his eye. For myself I found it humorous to see him fall over himself like a teen age boy looking at a Playboy magazine for the first time.  See him loose control of his thoughts  - funny. Seeing his face when I noticed and informed him that those very tall women were in fact, I'm trying to contain my laughter, hard to type, belly hurting, OK I'll type it, men in drag - PRICELESS. His excitement of being eyed by a beautiful "WOMAN," was quickly lost. Like how I emphasized the word man in the word woman. He he he.  Feeling guilty that I had spoiled his fun, I knew exactly how to cheer him up and gets his pride back with four magic words – “Let’s go to - Hooters?" He turned and gave me a sheepish grin as the twinkle quickly returned in his eyes. Our walk immediately felt more like a sprint in my heels. As we moved together, hand in hand, we quickly made our way up the strip to "Hooters" casino and resort, with only one pit stop along the way because I was in dire need of BLISTER first-aid. He sat on a flowerbed wall and I went into one of the gift shops to find Band-Aids. I had assumed he was going to just sit outside and wait, so understand my extreme surprise when I turned around and he was standing face to face with me. He had informed me that once again, someone had come up to him, sat down and began to share their life troubles with him. I think he must have been a confessional priest in another life.

I got my blisters fixed and off we went. It was like being in a Cavalry, a bugle had sounded and then the words – CHARGE!  I can’t believe I am about to say this, but I was so happy when I saw the word “HOOTERS” across the street in front of us. You could see his sheer excitement. Now it is no secret that my husband is a boob man, but seriously this casino was nothing like the commercials or how the movies make it appear. This place felt rather dumpy. The actual “Hooters” restaurant was way too confined and too much lighting.  Oh fella’s I’m hearing you chomping at the bit, you want to know about the boobs and babes in the place.  Hold your horses I’m getting to that. Ladies, your probably wondering why I am so casual in talking about my husband being a boob man. So let me say this for the record. He can look at all the boobs he wants, but the minute another woman makes her boobs available to him for some personal time, I'll have something to say about it. OK, moving on. Where was I, oh, yeah...Let’s just say my “hooters” were bigger than the girls walking around getting drinks for the patrons of their casino. I should have applied – NOT! Ha-ha. My husband just sat at a penny slot machine looking as if he has just lost every bit of money he had. When the women came up to get us drinks…they were flirting with me more than him. What’s up with that? We sat and had a couple drinks as we played about $20.00 in slots – and lost it all. On the flip – it was in this casino that we ate at the Mad Onion. One word to describe it – Delicious! I had the prime rib and it was out of this world. My hubby decided that something from the breakfast menu would be what tickled his fancy.

We were very somber when the Sunday morning sunlight began to filter into our room. This would be the last day to see the things we wanted to see and do the things we wanted to do before returning our car at 4:00 that afternoon.  I had gotten to see an old friend that I knew in my middle school days. It was great to spend time with her and her family. Thirty years and many states had come between us, but the moment I saw her, that gap was instantly gone. We enjoyed a great brunch and believe it or not, we spent another four hours just standing in the parking lot talking about her upcoming wedding and the quirks of men and raising boys into young men. It was great to get caught up and I was sad to say good-bye, but with the help of Facebook we remain connected.

The time had come and we headed off to return our beautiful Mustang on wheels. But you know me, how could I let this moment go without getting some great shots of our final drive.

It was hard to see the mountain to the west and not want to just forget about things and drive to the California coast to watch the sunset.  California was the place where I found my life, or should I say, when it really began.  It was my platform that put me where I am right now.  I was feeling proud that I had followed through with publishing my book and the ultimate reason why I had a story to tell in the first place was doing his best "Tom Cruise - Days of Thunder" impression as we zipped down the highway to the rental car facility. I couldn't help but smile as I pondered that all of these precious memories became a reality because of a dream about my sexy military cowboy man twenty years ago.

So, I hear you all wondering what happened with my book pitch. Well as Mr. Chait, Mr. Kosberg and Mr. Ogorek stressed over and over again, this process takes time and patience. It was about a week ago that I finally received my reviews back. This is what I had been waiting for. I was disappointed as I read each review one by one, saying it was not what they were looking for at this time. I became more and more upset until I came up a review by executive #6. In the comments it read: I want to read this book because it's a great story that is true. It's inspirational and romantic. At the bottom the most important box had been checked: Please have Author Solutions, send a copy of your book for further consideration.  WAAA WHOOO!!! One out of nine, not bad, I'll take that and pray that it will be a working partnership one day soon.

To all of you out there, always know that if you Dream it, Believe in it, you can Achieve it. Have a great weekend and blog you Monday.

Could a Dream Come True - Twice? Part Three

My first realization, that I was really in Las Vegas, was when our plane touched down. The realization as to why I was there set in as I walked through the MGM Grand hallway into the convention center all dressed in my finery with the person who was the whole reason for my story in the first place - my sweetheart, my best friend, my husband, by my side.  The walls were adorned with dozens of large pictures of all the great names that had graced this place. Some of the photographs that I recall were, Sting, Robin Williams, Aerosmith, Jimmy Buffet, Carrie Underwood and so many more. It all felt surreal as a piece of music entered my thoughts of how I was feeling at that very moment. I have put the link to the music below so you can feel what I was feeling.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-DpLqrNUIg&feature=related. The sounds of the people, the lights, the music and the rush of the unknown, danced vivaciously around me – yet I found my focus to remain professional and of all else – Calm.

As my husband and I arrived at the registration location at about 5:10pm. Immediately I was asked to review and sign a contact that gave the agency authorization to utilize any video footage that may be captured during the event, which I did agree too. I was given a name tag and a folder that housed all of my scheduled event details and then, who knows why, maybe to sweeten the deal, there were two boxes of candy, which my husband enjoyed tremendously. Last thing I needed was to suffer a sugar overload as I tried to deal with the rush of adrenaline that pretty much kept its grips on me until the closing of the event. It was like being a kid again, sitting up on Christmas Eve waiting with the wonderment if you would see Santa Claus. Hoping that he was real and if he was real what gift would he leave you.  My concerns, in all of this craziness – Would someone really want to make my story a movie?

As I finished signing in, we were directed to the location of the meet and greet cocktail party. I was calm again, when I turn and my husband stood before me with one of his very special smiles. It was then I knew deep down, even though he doesn’t like to stand out or get dressed up with all kinds of bling, he was happy to be there and was proud that we had come this far as I had seen that smile many times through-out the years when we were faced and overcame many challenges in our lives and our marriage.

I didn’t want to be rude and take pictures,
 so here is a picture of the room the day after.
We used it as a pitch practice room the next day.

As we crested the top of the escalator to the party, you could hear the sounds of low toned conversations and laughter. “Here you go lady” I thought. “You can do this!” As my husband and I walked through the doors, a very elegant setting met our eyes. Candles dressed the long black table clothes that were draped over tall standing tables and tables with chairs. To either side of the room were to bars that were stocked with wine and top shelf liquor. I will say that my mind had gone blank when the bartender asked what we wanted. My husband went with his favorite, Bud Light. For me, I had initially asked for an amaretto sour, but then changed my mind last minute and decided on a screwdriver – delicious! We chose to stand around one of the intimate type bar tables. I was too nervous to sit. I had done my research, and watched the door, as if I was on an undercover mission. When the men of the hour would walk into the room, I’d know exactly who they were – and I did.  In the middle of the room, a large stage and a large oak podium with the MGM Grand Lion insignia crested in gold on the front of it.  For the back drop, it couldn’t have gotten any grander. 

Now try to imagine the above photograph during an evening setting. Soft mood lighting shown down from the ceiling above, candlelit tables and then the floor to ceiling windows with the view of the MGM Grand Resort and its magnificent illumination shining through. Waiters in black uniforms as sophisticated as a tuxedo, carried silver platters of hour dorves while they walked around the room serving people. I was in an aura of amazement. Shortly after 6:00 PM, the men of the hour walked into the room. Actor - Marcus Chait, King of Pitch - Robert Kosberg and VP Marketing Director of Author Solutions - Keith Ogorek, who was the person I worked with on Saturday to enhance my pitch before meeting with the executives. The three of them and the associates that, I assume, helped to put this event together, mingled in a small cliquish circle of importance. They eventually branched out and made their way around the room, and the bar. Smile. Hey, that is the first place I went when I entered the room. Guess a drink in my hand kept my thoughts at bay? Nah. A few minutes before the introductions began my husband’s phone rang. You could see his look of utter shock and a face that said, "Who the Hell is calling me?"Adak, and suddenly to hear a voice that helped me through the worst of times with my command, immediately took my thoughts right back to the island. It was a Supervisor and fellow Seabee from the Adak, Public Works paint shop that I had worked with for about a year. He had heard about my current book-to-screen endeavor and was calling to wish me luck. Again, trying to be polite so that people would stop staring at me, I stayed professional and thanked him for the well wishes, but that it wasn’t a good time to talk and we’d chat again soon. The eyes of the room returned to other subjects when I ended my call and turned the phone off.

My husband could tell that I had been knocked off my foundation for a moment and with a supportive voice told me not to fret and get back in the game. That it wasn’t a mystical sign or some phenomenon of what things good or bad could happen over the weekend.  That people really do care and want to see this be just as successful as we do and that I needed to stop letting the past keep me from moving forward. Yes, there are still days when the battle to marry my husband, even though we were from two different commands on a remote island in the Bering Sea and fighting an illness in the military will haunt me and the more I try to block the bad, I understand that good things and good people were and always will be a part of our lives. Standing there I felt like I was in a glass box screaming and nobody could hear me. I guess that is a possible P.T.S.D. symptom, that doctors casually suggest that maybe I should seek attention for, shining through. I was overwhelmed, scared and filled with an extreme amount of self-doubt. Like clock work, when I started to sense a twinge of fear, I began to play my ever popular game of – What if, in my head. My thoughts “What if I mess up my pitch? What if I forget what to say? What if…and then it happened.  I hear the sweetest voice whisper into my ear, “you’ve seen this in your dreams Stacey, and it’s your time to shine. What are you so afraid of? You can do this. ” My breath was gone, but I could breath. The room was empty, but it was full.  I was alone, but people were around me. “Nana” I mouthed softly as I felt a ghostly hand placed upon my forearm and then it was gone. In that moment, I became grounded and knew why I was there and no matter how long the journey would be before me, I am following a dream to go from three important men in my life, to four - My husband of now 20 years, my two sons and a little golden man named Oscar.  I love you Nana and I miss you so much.

Now what was supposed to be a meet and greet, for 90 minutes, turned into a multi-mass of authors all with the same topic – When would they start getting paid. Even one gentleman was brazen enough to express that he had paid a lot of money to attend this event, how much more would he have to pay before his book started paying him, to which Mr. Orgorek replied “You shouldn’t have to pay anything. If people want you, it shouldn’t cost you anything,” which was a comment that was an immediate red flag in my husband’s mind, but kept his comments to himself for a private discussion between the both of us later. For me, I didn't feel that this was the time and place for anyone to question sales, money, success, stardom or what have you. How shocked we were when what they had planned for this social was clearly going over. How rude. Didn’t people understand that was what the Saturday morning presentation, with Mr. Kosberg, was all about? Now please don’t take offense to what I write, with 100 or so at this particular part of the two day event, it must have been about a dozen or so that kept this train of many questions steaming onward. My husband and I, had gotten all of this information before we had even left for Vegas. I personally knew exactly what the scheduled and times were and where I was to be on what day. I am anal about details and fearing this event may or may not be on the up and up, I grilled the agents at the publishing company for all details including the guest speakers so that I do as much research as I could before we left. Even with knowing the layout of the event, I had planned for the evening to run a little past its time when I purchased dinner and show tickets in the New York, New York, casino weeks in advance. We decided that since we had purchased the dinner and show tickets for later that night, and they were nonrefundable, 7:30, whether things were wrapped up or not, we were out of there. Finally one of the guest speakers remarked that this could all be addressed in the morning and wished everyone a great evening. Mr. Chait and Mr. Kosberg were immediately inundated with a line full of endless questioning. I felt bad for them, even though I am sure they would say – It’s all part of the business.  I decided that I would not cater to this, I walked ahead of people in the lines, I extended my hand to both men individually and took a professional approach by thanking them for taking time out of their busy schedules to help assist with our dreams of our stories becoming more. They smiled, guess it was nice to just have someone generally thankful they were there and be content with that. However, my feeling on inside - I was trilled to know that I was going on a romantic date with my hunky husband to Gallagher’s Steakhouse and then to see the Vegas show Zumanity.

http://www.vegas.com/video/shows/zumanity/full_index.html

On Saturday morning at 8:00 AM the event started with a three hour presentation given by Mr. Kosberg,  then we would go upstairs to pitch our book ideas to either Mr. Chait, Mr. Kosberg or Mr. Ogorek, then we would be let go for an hour lunch.  I was in the group with Mr. Ogorek.  Now I had already gotten my pitch written long before I ever arrived in Las Vegas, and trust me when I say how speechless I was to find that of the fifty people in my group, about a dozen were not fully prepared. But again, that was the reason behind this gathering before meeting with the executive. I found myself going against my original pitch, which I think could have hurt me. What I knew by memorization was now changed in areas that I needed to read from a page when I finally got my chance to Pitch my story.  The Original pitch read as follows and I know this by heart:

Pitch Copy right: Feb 26, 2012. All rights reserved.

Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves 

By: Stacey L. Bolin

A shy naive girl from picturesque New England follow’s a premonition about a mysterious military man in a red van needing her help. She is enthralled into a military life that forces her to face a war like none other. Her war is the choice between fighting the government or her cancer.  Her choice – both! With her new found G.I. Jane Strength, she triumphs over tragedy while unlocking the mystery to her premonition and finds her love of a lifetime.

***

When I sat before Mr. Ogorek in the center of the room, it was a sheer Deja Vu moment all over again. I had seen this, I had sat here, I had seen him before, but only in my dreams. How strange I felt, and yet, I was comforted.  Without hesitation, I began. I spoke not only to him, but to the on lookers in the room as well, making eye contact with anyone willing to hear me. To close my pitch I had added, "The best part of the whole story is that I am now 18 years remission and I still have and still deeply in love with my mystery man and he still has his red van." When I was done, I was at a loss for words. As my husband would say with joy - SHE IS SILENCED! IT'S A MIRACLE! Smile. Mr. Ogorek simply remarked, “No need to worry about being emotional, we've had a lot of that here today. That's what happens when you talking about a true story and you’re the person who went through the hardships in the story. From my professional stand point, there is nothing to change with your pitch. Leave it just the way it is.” He went on to ask about the man in the red van, to which I had remarked, that my mystery man is here with me today, but he’s in a red mustang driving the Las Vegas Blvd. I forgot we opted for the blue Mustang when the agent said the red gets a lot of attention from the Vegas police, especially with a California tag on it.

Mr. Ogorek and the others in the room chuckled. He went on to ask if my husband could come back and join him for lunch as he wanted to hear more about the 1964 Ford Falcon 4 on the tree, red van.  As soon as our group was done, I quickly got on the phone to update my hubby with the great news and the request for his presence at lunch – which was not open to the public or guest of the individuals attending the “Pitch fest” event. For some reason, when I called him, I could not hear him very well, but he could hear me fine. I told him how things went and that he was asked to join us for lunch, but if he couldn’t make it, I would certainly understand and I meant that most sincerely and I was so happy that he was off having fun, not stuck in the hotel watching TV. I could not hear a reply and figured he was out on an exploratory adventure somewhere in Vegas. I was kind of right. He was to off to explore – the "Hooters" Casino across the street and that when I called he was in a blocked signal area just leaving the MGM Grand. He had called me earlier in the day driving the strip and went to Pawn Stars. I just assumed he was still on the road with the bad signal he had. Don’t worry fella’s, both he and I got to go to Hooters Saturday night, but don’t get so excited there is more to this tale later in the story.

I felt my breath steal away when I came down the stairs and there my sexy cowboy man stood. I felt bad that  he chose to give up his plans to go to Hooters, to come and eat a, not so great, lunch. My husband is a steak and potato's man, if you have to look up the name of something before you eat it, most likely, he's NOT going to try it let alone, going to eat it. If he does, he'll pretend to enjoy it all while wondering how much he can hold in his mouth before excusing himself to spit it out in the restroom. For myself, I do pretty good with all kinds of foot presentations, but even this one was a bit to be desired. My only thought, "It came from the MGM Grand Buffet." How relieved he was when I told him, "if you don't like it, please don't eat it. Trust me, I understand". Now because everyone wanted Mr. Ogoreks attention to improve their pitch, the request for a lunch get together never took place, but they met up later in the day when I went in to deliver my pitch. 

Finally the time had come, the most important time of the whole trip - 3:05PM. There I sat with seven other hopefuls waiting for their one big break, before I knew it the door opened and a voice said, "We are ready to see you all now." I took a big breath and said to everyone in the line, "Good Luck Everyone. Here we go."  To be Continued....

Like any writer, we all save the best part for last. I'm sure you didn't expect a part four and were surprised to see the words, To be Continued...Join me tomorrow for the Final Chapter of "Could a Dream Come True - Twice?" and find out for yourselves what happens. Did I get a movie offer? Will it be a Movie of the Week? Did anyone like my pitch? And the question on most men's minds..."What Happened at Hooters?" Thanks for reading and I'll blog you tomorrow. :)