"Life Has A Way of Just Happening"

Below is a true story. I was given consent to write about this, but chose to protect the identity of those outside of our family.

Song that inspired the story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSJbYWPEaxw

"Life Has A Way of Just Happening"

In everyone’s life, people, known and unknown, will step in front of you without any warning and alters one’s path in life. Some interactions are merely a nod of one’s head, or a smile accompanied by a greeting of hello, or excuse me, if you happen to be standing in their way as they walk by. Other times it could be simply a look that turns into conversation or an introduction by one person to another. This is how life has a way of changing people and often times how new friends and acquaintances are made.

Over the weekend I was introduced to a very sweet family that had been invited to the Tractor Pulling event, which we attend every year, by my oldest son who was pulling in one of the heats. It was because of our family involvement with the Halloween Happening at the Anne Arundel Country Fair Grounds in October each year, and their love for Halloween; they were introduced to my husband and me to learn more about our yearly ghoulish delight in scaring people. Their daughter was the first of the family to speak with us. She talked about her love for Halloween and where she went to school and various teen things, but you could see the sorrow behind her smile. She spoke of general topics with the exception of one that was due to the result of my asking her if the couple sitting on a bench near the announcer’s box was her Mom and Dad. Her reply was more than I bargained for. With a quick pause, she answered. "Yes it is. Mom and dad were married twenty years, but got divorced. They are trying to work things out." That was a response that I never expected but placed in the back of my mind as her mother walked our way. When I was finally introduced to her mother, I noticed mom wore the same type of smile. Clearly something was wrong and their look was all too familiar.

***

Have you ever seen someone you didn't know yet you feel an unexplained connection? Then suddenly your finding yourself in a conversation that is so deep and so personal you ask yourself, "Do I, or did I know this stranger at some point?" Then you ask yourself this question as you find that the problems they are currently facing relate to something you have already experienced yourself or maybe the situation was different but the hurt of a bad situation harbors the same pain and sorrow within ones heart and soul as you once felt yourself. I honestly think this is a way that our guardian angels shows us that we all heal in our own time from whatever made us feel emotionally conflicted.  That at some point in our lives and when we do overcome our pain, we must pass the life lessons we have learned to others  as merely a tool to guide those facing their own challenges as they climb their own ladder of life.  I knew this meeting was a reason far greater than myself, yet what my family and I have faced over the years would help them in some small way.  

***

I knew that smile as my mother wore the same one when my father became tempted by another, which eventually resulted in their divorce. I kept the conversation on what I knew best - Halloween.  I could see they needed to talk and more importantly they needed someone to not only listen, but in some way, understand without judgment. It wasn’t until later on in the day, they both confided in me what had been troubling them. What I learned was the pains of a daughter struggling with the inability to connect with the most important man in her life, her father, and to find the love and positive attention that she needs to feel from him. I found a father that is trying to find himself and a sense of love since the death of a very close family member several years ago and a wife that had been hurt by this same man who is now her ex-husband because of his choice to be with another during their marriage. With all that they had shared with me, my heart had me thinking that this family wants to be together, but due to the nature of the hurt, their hearts are guarded as they fear the hurt will repeat – and that was a coping mechanism I knew all too well.

I was puzzled as to why, myself being a perfect stranger, would they share such deep emotional feelings with me. Maybe they somehow knew I once wore the same smile as the daughter does. I could relate to her words. I knew this life once, but then I was not mature enough to even begin to comprehend what was truly going on inside the mind, body and soul of a 13 year old. I’m 43 now, and I only learned a year ago what I was going through during my childhood years. That is a long time to push feelings aside because you don’t know how to talk to people about it. I was pleased to know that she had not been like I once was and chose to open up and let the hurt out. As for her mother, I can’t say that I have ever had the love of my life stray. I’ve had other men that I have dated and loved in my life, stray, but I took that as more of a get out jail free card because I only loved them, but was not in love with them (Yes there is a BIG difference) and quickly found my freedom until my true love came along. The one thing I could relate to, the struggles to lose weight and the female emotions that go with it. Her additional hurt came from, her now ex-husband, believing her weight loss was a way to engage in extra marital relations with other men, however these accusations were the result of his way of hiding that in fact, he was going outside of their marriage and into the arms of another.

But in all of the turmoil that they are struggling with, I know they will one day find the strength to overcome the hurt and reconnect, maybe not as man and wife, but as a man, woman and the child that they created together.  I was so happy to see the man of the family was very comfortable talking with my husband and they found there was a common interest between them – They both were die hard country boys and both were stuck in the city with the hopes of one day getting back to a life of peace and quiet. When we all talked together, it was as if we had been old friends catching up on the times and we decided to get together the next day for good food and conversation  as we were forced to say our goodbyes to another weekend. My hubby and I shared a lot about how some of the significant events in our lives had knocked us off our path of positive thinking, but with time, things got better and we realized that the most important things we see in people we know,  in people we meet, and even looking within ourselves, people all desire the peace of mind of knowing they are loved and to be shown love. RESPECT. Everyone needs affection and compassion. We all want to be appreciated and know that people listen when spoken too. If all else, EVERYONE has a story to tell. Take the time to listen people. Who knows you just might discover the beginnings of a new found friendship you never thought you’d find and took a negative part of someones life and make it positive for them again.