She's a Beotch and her name is: HURRICANE IRENE!

Greetings Readers,
Well we made the choice to weather the storm and decided to stay in our little home in Maryland. We are about 2 hours west of Ocean City. Right now we have wind gusts that are reasonable if compared to my time when I was station on the small and windy island of Adak, Alaska.  The eye of the storm is just about making land fall in North Carolina, so we have not even begun to fell the effects of an angry woman call Hurricane Irene.  We have taken all the necessary precautions, batteries, toilet paper, can goods, propane for the gas grill and so on and so fourth.  We know that in a matter of hours, ourselves and millions of other people up and down the east coast will be without power.  It is usually when the lights go out, my family and I realized just how much we take electricity for granted.


This reminds me of a conversation that my husband and I have every time we anticipate loosing our power. I have asked him, if we could have lived in a different time and place, when and where would it be?  His answer, out on the prairie during the days of the ole' West. Your car was a horse, not a lot of people, no traffic, fresh air, crops and livestock you managed yourself to take care of your family. (He smiles ear to ear as he tells of this image of a simple life he has created.)  Now me, I always ask him, if you lived back then, you'd be plowing your fields with two four legged friends named Clive and Curtis.  By living in the now, you can have 255 horses doing the job for you and they go by one name - Case International.  I'm always trying to find a way to make my sweetheart show me his addicting smile.


My husband is a very strong man, and even if he is worried, nervous or scared about something, he is one smooth operator...no pun intended, you see he is the most skilled equipment operator I have ever seen. He is the only one I know that can make operating an excavator look like a smooth ballet move. Such grace and consistency. I tell him this all the time, but he won't give himself the credit that is do.


So OK, where am I going with all of this.  In about three hours or so, we are about to feel the full effects of Hurricane Irene. A family member called and asked if I had seen the current weather reports, all I can say if these new reports are accurate (it's heading straight for our location), it could spell big trouble for us and one heck of an assault on our homeowners insurance. You see, behind us on our neighbors property are several very old and very oversized oak trees that are in dire need of being taken down.  With all the rain we have had this year and now the additional rain and high winds, we fear that the only thing coming down in relation to these trees are my kitchen and/or dining room of our house. I know my husband is concerned, as so am I, but for our kids, we have our game faces on and have them safely in the basement with our generator in the garage and provisions downstairs ready to go at a moments notice for what ever the situation may be. Yikes, speaking of conditions, I do believe that our hours of power are about to be few and far between, days between.

Irene has given us her cue that she is gaining grown with a few warning flickers of the electricity, usually after three we are in the dark. I've enjoyed writing to you all and I will finish this when we are back on line, until then stay safe and stay dry. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y&ob=av3e

This video was done at 5:21pm EST.

The storm is still about 3.5 hours from our location.

Got a lot of rain and wind gusts,

 but I think I can safely say, we haven't seen anything yet.

In the yard beside my husbands truck, our new
neighbors just lost a tree.

A dragon Fly is frozen in time
on my window by Hurrican Irene, 2011
pictures and video above by: Stacey L. Bolin

This is a picture of the parking lot in

Ocean City on Aug 27, 2011.

This is the effect of Hurrican Irene on it's way.

This was the same place where Reese, Nikki and I were

about two weeks ago when we went there for the day. 

Photographer: Unknown found this on the internet.

"Bellows in the Mist" Sneak peak - Due out 2012

Play music link below for full effect. ENJOY!
Please note that the title: Bellows in the Mist" has had a title change to "Deemed Crazy" due out 2012.
"Bellows in the Mist" By Stacey L. Bolin
 Copyright August 2011 All rights reserved

                                              PROLOGUE

“What is wrong with me” she thought. With each cautious step she took around the room, she kept hearing his voice in her mind.  She knew what he told her and she heard him loud and clear – She was never to go there alone, it wasn’t safe.  Her breathing became labored as she tried to anticipate what was lurking within the mist that was slowly entombing the cabin.  Something or someone was out there walking around, and her instinct was screaming for her to get out of there - fast!  Suddenly there was a loud crack, like the sound of a limb breaking from the old oak tree near the front porch that sent a cold, bitter chill of uneasiness through her body. Fear had certainly gotten its grips on her and it had no intentions of letting her go. 

“How can a person with such a passion for horror movies and haunted houses, be such a scaredy-cat?” She muttered to herself.  “Hiding in this place won’t be easy with such an extremely open concept, and hiding in one of the three bedrooms, I’ll be found for sure.” The sound of her breathing, and the endless tick, tick, tick, of the clock was all that filled the air.  Feeling crazed and wanting to protect herself, she grabbed a fire poker from the utensil display on the hearth. Whatever and whoever it was, was going to get a big surprise.

“Maybe it was Jon, maybe he had followed her up here, or someone told him she was going to Bellow Falls.” She wanted so much to think it was Jon and this would be the one and only time she’d be looking forward to an argument.  Heavy footsteps slowly made their way to the front door. She stood there, paralyzed with the horror of what was on the other side of the door. The knob was tried, but she had been smart enough to lock it.

“They can’t get in without a key.” She thought with a small sense of relief, until she heard the sound of metal rattling in the key hole and then a click - the door was unlocked. “Please go away, please, God, make them go away.” She whispered and whimpered.

She’d seen horror movies when zombies and murderers had been bludgeoned to death by a fire poker, so why can’t she do the same, especially if her life was in danger. “I’ve got to hide.”

Trying to make her body smaller and undetectable as possible, she crouched into a fetal position on her legs as close to the floor as she could, but stayed in the dark shadow down by the edge of the couch, while constantly keeping a firm grip on her make shift weapon. The door slowly opened letting the rays of pale light from the full moon filter in through the mist silhouetting the image that stood in the doorway.

“Hello? Is anyone in here?  I saw a light on earlier.  You can’t fool me anymore. Hello?”

She knew the voice, but still feared revealing herself. “I am such an idiot.” She thought. “I’m told never to come up here alone, that it wasn’t safe, but what do I do? I do it anyways, and now I’m hiding, in total fear, in a place that doesn’t belong to me.  What the blazes was I thinking?”

“Look I know someone is in here, I suggest you show yourself!  RIGHT NOW!  I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it!”

Against her better judgment, but knowing she was going to be found sooner or later, she pulled herself up and stood near the couch.

“So, it is you.” The tone of voice was filled with sheer disgust and agitation. Do you know how much trouble you have caused!  What kind of person does this to people! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”

Sweat began to bead across her forehead as she watched the moonlight dance across the polished barrel of the gun. Something told her, that her wrought iron poker was the wrong choice of protection.

“I should have done this a long time ago! I must have been out of my mind to think you’d just fade away on your own. But no you kept on, phone calls, letters, and text messages! The lies…all the LIES! You didn’t know when to quit! Hurting everyone! Including ME!”  The voice had changed it was different, almost sinister and she knew that she needed to do something, anything or someone was going to get hurt.

“Why are you treating me this way?” She screamed as her heart began to pound deep and hard inside her chest as she watched the barrel of the gun begin to rise up towards her. “We both wanted this!” “It was not just me! Please NO! PLEASE!  I PROMISE! I’LL GO AWAY…PLEASE!”

***

The lake was still as the moon cast its reflection upon the partially misty covered water. The forest would have seemed frozen in time if not for the occasional sounds of an owl that would fill the late night air. All was peaceful and serene as it has always been in Bellow Falls. Suddenly the sound of a single gunshot filled the air and echoed repeatedly across the water towards the water fall. Birds screeched as they flew briskly out of their nests, while the sounds of unknown animals running frantically through the forest indicated they were trying to flee the unknown danger.  The forest was crazy for a few short moments, then just as quickly as it had become chaotic; things once again, became tranquil.

           

Photo by: Allison "Nikki" Greever  Pasadena, Maryland
This photo and the music below was my inspiration.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfj3EG1qZRU&feature=related

Earthquake Felt in Annapolis Maryland

Wow, I have lived in California and felt their earthquakes. I lived in Adak, Alaska, and really felt their earthquakes. But have to say for a 5.9 with the epicenter in VA, wow what a punch. I was walking in a Five Below store in Annapolis, Maryland with my oldest son and his girlfriend Sarah Temple. I felt a movement under my feet that was strange at first, then was all to familar when we were suddenly hit with the jolt. My son, never experiencing this before, questioned to his girlfriend "Why is someone moving the wall?" I stood in the middle of the store, then my instinct kicked in, probably due to my prior address, "Get into a door jam, don't run outside." I thought as my heart was pounding in my chest. 
in about 15 seconds it was over. That was the longest 15 minutes I have faced in a long time. It is very humbling to know that even when you think you
have control, this makes you realize how much you really don't and how small one really is in this massive thing called a universe. 

I am happy to report my husband and boys are fine. I hope this blog finds all of you and your families fine too. Below are some news reports to mark this event and then local information from our home town too.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44245009/ns/us_news-life/t/congress-pentagon-other-dc-areas-evacuate-after-quake/?GT1=43001

http://www.annapolis.gov/Residents/News/11-08-23/Earthquake_Shakes_Annapolis.aspx

"Window Prints" How two children survived years of childhood abuse.

Based on a True Story - The events below actually happened. Names and locations have been changed to protect the innocent. This is a segment from book one of a two part series. The second in the series - "In Her Words: The Sorrow Behind Grandma's Smile".  These books are about Domestic Violence and Childhood Domestic Violence in the 1970's and 80's. When people feared talking about it.




"Window Prints" by Stacey L. Bolin


His little hands pressed against the frosted window while he cried out for his mother as the tail lights of her car faded off in the distance.  "Mom! no go! mom! no go!"
It was certain, if the beast heard him, it would certainly come and find them. Emily did all she could to help calm Miles. She had to do something.  If she had known that her mother would be going out for a bit that evening, she would have tried to distract Miles with a game or play trucks with him, anything to keep the beast from coming after them.  Suddenly, the sounds of heavy foot steps filled the air, they were getting closer, the beast was moving at a high rate of speed.


"Miles, please, mommy will be right back. We have to be quiet. Shhhh Please stop crying...Please" Emily said in a frantic whisper. Miles was to upset to listen. He wanted his mother.
Just then, a cold and frightening feeling came over them. There it stood in the doorway, covered in hair with eyes so dark and cold. It hated noise, especially kids crying. For some reason it made it very angry and would cause it to come after them. Miles started screaming for his mother even louder. Emily just sat frozen with fear, there was no way to get out of the room, they were trapped. The beast was tall and quick. In two steps the beast had Miles in his grips, snarling at him, growling at him. It wanted immediate quiet.  Miles was only four years old, and Emily was seven. There was no way they could fight the beast off. It was much to strong for them. Suddenly it took Miles into the living room. She could hear it growing more and more agitate, some how it needed to bring quiet to its space. Emily found the strength to walk to the door.


"Miles, Miles, please be ok" she thought to herself.  Immense tears began to fall from her eyes while fear paralyzed her as she watched in terror what the beast was doing. Miles screamed over and over for his mother. The beast couldn't stand it any more, then suddenly the phone rang, the beast stopped and then with all its strength, it hurled Miles across the living room causing him to land on his head in the crevasse of the couch cushions and then fall to the floor. Miles just lay there, with no noise, nothing, the room was silent. As the beast left the room, Emily moved her self to her brothers side. She feared he was dead. What would she tell mom, would mom believe her that Daddy killed Miles.


It was a relief when she heard Miles begin to softly weep. She got him his blanket and tried to sing him a song, but all she knew was the melody of the fisher price clock she'd listen to at Grandma's house. The song was soothing to her for some reason, although now after years of finally learning there were words to it, it makes her sad to hear it for numerous reasons, as it is a reminder of peaceful times when Emily would go to her Grandmothers house to temporarily get away from the fear of being at home with her Father.


tohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3tlIMJ9bK0&feature=related

Mom wants to be a writer: "Making Summer Memories in a Bad Economy"

Mom wants to be a writer: "Making Summer Memories in a Bad Economy"

"Making Summer Memories in a Bad Economy"

Have you ever had a summer that had a schedule that was so jammed packed that by the end of it, you have to look back on the calender to try to remember what you did? That you were so exhausted, that you needed a vacation to recoup from your vacation? That if you weren't constantly on the go...something was tragically wrong?

We used to be that family, long summers spent in Maine, camping trips in Pennsylvania, day trips to the Blue Ridge mountains, and all kinds of amusement parks, movies, lunch outings, and so on and so on. We truly ingulfed ourselves with all the sensations of instant gratification and the need to be constantly entertained by others. Money just flew out of our pockets. It was grand and glorious, so we thought, until I was laid off from my job in June of 2010.

In the summer of 2010, a summer I'll never forget and will always remember it fully. We were hit with a financial storm that rendered us literally trapped in our home. No money for gas, we could barely pay the bills, let alone put food on the table, yet somehow we managed, how - I don't have a clue. I did odd jobs, and made crafts to sell at local events. My husband worked his butt off with no time off.  No matter what we did, it was never enough, we had hit rock bottom in our budget. It got to a point when we would have to fill travel jugs with diseal fuel to put in our oil tank so we could have hot water. That even though the kids were growing out of their shoes, they would still try to wear them. That breakfast wasn't a smorgasbord of that special sugary cereals in the panty.

Yes, I know your flippin' out, "cereal" you say?  "You were worried about not having sugary cereal?"  To a parent that is not a need, but to kids, it's this kind of simple change that sparks their thinking that something is wrong. For my kids the cereals caught their attention briefly, it was when we had to put an end to cell phones and electronic devices - This was when their reality of our situation woke them up. 

Losing a second income to us was devistating. Yet we learned something that summer to help us transition into a new way of summer fun for 2011.  It's not about big trips and going here and going there. It's not about filling up that suit case full of tourist trap items that seem a necessity at the time, but then fall victim to the growing years of travel clutter you finally realize you never needed. 

We found out, what was important was family and good health.  That first summer that I was out of work, I felt depressed that I couldn't give my kids the constant busy schedule of always going off and doing something. I know, Dumb hua?  I felt that the only way they would have fun is to go everywhere and anywhere.  I was so wrong. Did you know that kids really enjoy watching Shark Week on the Learning channel, especially if you make a big bowl of popcorn and some red Kool-aid to make it fun. That they really do love dad's old train set, that had sat in the garage for the last 15 years, and still have an imagination to bring that train and it's buildings new life?  That if you let them use your craft paint, they will create something if you give them time?  And the biggest of all, planning one or two small trips means more to them, than having a calendar with every day filled to the brim. 

A lot has changed for our family since last year. Financially the road is still unpaved. My husband is still working and I now have been able to claim some of the unemployment benefits that is offered to those of us, endlessly trying to seek work. We can now pay our bills and not wonder where the money is coming from, but clearly the days of spending friviously is no longer a part of our lifestyle. 

This summer we were able to go to Michigan to see some very dear friends over the 4th of July and then in August, we took a day trip to Ocean City.  We were very careful with our funds and didn't fall victim to aquiring souviners to mark our trips and it's memories. We used our cameras and took pictures to capture the fun that we all had.  We found that just being able to spend time with friends and family were more important than any huge oversized rollercoaster or water park. That simple gave us so much more...the ability to bond as a family once again. That those two trips that we took meant so much to us, and the best part...we can remember everything we did.

So next time when your putting together your crazy schedule of family togetherness, whether you are financially stable or doing your best to balance your budgets, remember that sometimes just being together in the same room watching a movie has more of lasting impact, than constantly filling the car or packing the suitcases. There is nothing more important in life than simply being with the ones we love.

Reese  Ryan  Ron (My husband) and Myself
Michigan 2011

Reese and I, in Ocean City
August 2011

The music behind the story "Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves"

Today I am in the mood for music and videos, So I have gotten myself organized and put together the songs that helped me write my book "Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves", Course this doesn't even touch the level of music that makes up me and inspires me to write. For some of the music it was the words, for other's, it was the melody and they just happen to had been popular during the time frame that I was writing about. This is not all of it. I'll post the rest soon, keep checking back, until then I hope you enjoy your books and a little music to go with it. :)

Top Gun - Movie Anthem - Chapter 1/2/3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iv6foKX5BQY

Enya - Watermark - Chapter 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiFTXckh0zU

Paula Abdul - Rush, Rush, - Chapter 6
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNPb931HqeM

Enya - On your Shore - Chapter 7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n08JRxVLKLE&feature=related

Amy Grant - Baby, Baby - Chapter 8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMXuuYnoRdI&ob=av2e

Chris Isaak - Wicked Game - Chapter 8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAOxCqSxRD0

Amy Grant - Everywhere I go - Chapter 8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mSmjoND6CY

Queensryche -  Silent Lucidity - Chapter 8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC444i8tcyc

Nanci Griffith - Late Night Grande Hotel - Chapter 11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvNgXryq6rM&playnext=1&list=PL8FA348A53046F26D

James Taylor - Copperline - Chapter 11/12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzCy8yqisQI

Siouxsie & the Banshees - Kiss the for me Chapter 11/12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I3S8lPM6qM&feature=related

1990 #1 Songs - Chapters 12/13/14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gpWUuEN09g&feature=related

1991 #1 Songs - Chapters 12/13/14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1MxqnUFRXU&feature=related

1992 #1 Hits - Chapters 12/13/14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRcimo3BEhA

Travis Tritt - Anymore - Chapter 13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXr8gxSjmq8

Dobie Gray - Loving Arms - Chapter 13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqKxMtO6xFw

Firehouse - Love of a Lifetime - Chapter 13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xL2jXh2fj78

Kathy Mattea - Asking Us to Dance - Chapter 13/14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJH6Voz4IQQ&ob=av2e

Voice of the Beehive - Monsters and Angels - Chapters 13/14
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m3C1K5b5VI&playnext=1&list=PLE75FFFA056BB3673

Kath Bush - Running up that Hill - Chapter 15
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp43OdtAAkM

Dolly Parton - Light of a Clear Blue Morning - Chapter 16
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9h-_6h-g5s0&feature=related

Annie Lennox - Why - Chapter 17
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG7I4oniOyA

Pete Townshend - A Friend is a Friend - Chapter 19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpiYXRt5MyM

Neil Diamond & Barbara Streisand - You Don't Bring me Flowers - Chapter 19
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M

Peter Gabriel - Book of Love - Chapter 30/31
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nZGv8VTBVE

Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwoʻole - Somewhere over the Rainbow - Chapters
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1bFr2SWP1I&feature=relmfu

Sting - Fields of Gold - Chapter 23
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_ACXuhQiS4

Kate Bush - This Woman's Work - Chapter 23/24/26/30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj10EzNKA2M

Britney Spears - Everytime - Chapter 26
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-UJQGwzyxo

Dolly Parton - She's an Eagle when she Flies - Chapter 27/36 & Epilogue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPmvyMIfZm8&feature=related

The Golden Snowflake - A True Story

To know me, is to know, when I get down in the dumps, it's the feeling of Christmas and its musical splendor that brings life to my soul. These past few days I have been doing something I despise the most - Cleaning my basement of clutter that has been jockied from the family room to the garage and back again over the course of 17 years. Ouch, yes, that is a long time. So my younger son, realizing what it is that can bring his mother back from the depths of bitchiness, he found "The Christmas Story" (Yes the one with the Red Rider BB Gun), he put in on the big screen TV and before I knew it I was attacking the mounds of boxes and bagged clutter once and for all. (Pictures to be posted later).  So being in that pre and way to early to think of Christmas mode, I thought of this story and wanted to share it with you. I do hope you enjoy it. So let me be the first to say...(with a big smile) Merry Christmas. 

*******

"The Golden Snowflake"

Written by Stacey L. Bolin

December 2008

As I spent my holidays running to and from and here to there, I always had one thing on my mind...finding friends and family the perfect Christmas gift. Yet, the mission of this quest, deemed harder than one would think. As I shopped and searched I had found gifts for friends and loved ones and felt at ease that my shopping was done - well almost. I had two special people remaining. Christmas had come and gone and I felt bad that it had taken me so long to find a gift, but it didn’t matter Christmas or not, I still pondered what could I give that would be special and be like me, uniquely different, (smile).

Well, I began to think back on all the special places that this special couple had shown me through pictures, conversation and even places that they had told us about, and my family went to see such as: Gettysburg, the Apply Festival in Pennsylvania and the Candle Light service at their church. But, there was one place that had been suggested, The Homestead Gardens and its lights and train display, they insisted that it was a must see, but failing to make the time in my schedule, I didn’t get there during the holiday season. I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. One Wednesday night after Christmas my family and I took the kids to the skate zone in Odenton, Maryland and then to the Pizza Hut in Bowie.

For whatever the reason, we didn’t come home on our normal route, this time we took route 214 instead of route 50 east. As we drove the dark and windy road and enjoyed the Christmas lights displayed in the yards of unknown families, our eyes were graced with the utmost beauty that I believe we were all anxiously looking for. The Homestead Gardens was decorated in this magical display of Christmas lights in a multitude of color. We had to stop to see this glorious holiday splendor in person. When I walked through the doors, I felt like a kid again, yet much to my hearts desire, I was striken with deep disappointment when I saw that the shelves were only filled with remnants of what was once a gorgeous display of ornaments and holiday decorations.

Although myself, and yes, my family was very disappointed with this used to be Christmas utopia’s baron shelves, I remember thinking to myself that “we just had to find the train display”. We all ran around the building as if we were looking for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow or better yet, a crazy game of hide-and-go seek with no place to hide.  Then suddenly...there it was, miniature towns of yesteryear accented with my most favorite item that all Christmas holidays should have, even if only once, PILES OF HAVE TO HAVE SNOW. My heart smiled as I could hear my friends saying “Stacey, you have to see the train display at the Homestead, it’s just beautiful.” As I took in the beauty of the display, there lying on the snow, were five intricate designs of what looked like golden sparkled caramelized snowflakes.

I knew it then I had found the perfect gift for two special people. A gift that symbolized my love for Christmas, snow, snowflakes and that the special gift that they had given to me and my family - The gift of and unconditional friendship. Because of their many travel adventures and sharing those trips with us through pictures and conversations, my family and I have also gotten to experience some of the beauty of the world outside of our town and I can only hope we will see many more places in person. When I gave them their gift, I shared this story of where I found my special gift and hoped they would accept my gift and always remember each time our snowflakes find their way to our trees, we can rejoice in knowing God had brought us together and the bond of friendship will last forever.

The Dieters Nightmare

Fun with Food and Fiction

Written by Stacey L. Bolin

Friday, April 30, 2010
Revised, Thursday August 11, 2011

The darkness of the grocery store wrapped around me, my feet, cold, as I walked barefoot across the tiled floor. There was not a soul to be found.  I was all alone. The air felt think and heavy with moisture as I tried to control the fear in my breathing. I kept moving forward, following the unknown sounds. In my mind, I was on the verge of remembering, but the images would not come to me. The sounds - familiar. Snapping, popping, and at times....munching, followed by the distant sound of thunder. I continued to move forward with mixed emotions,

"What was it? Why did this all feel so familiar to me? Why was I scared? What was down there waiting for me?"

As I got closer to the sounds, I began to hear whispers, saying my name over and over. "Stacey, come to us, we're over here. Come to us."

Suddenly a bright light shown over me and I was surrounded, but surrounded by what? When I looked down, I couldn't believe what I was seeing,

"Say it wasn't so" I thought.

I was surrounded by hundreds of fruits and vegetables from isle one, they were trying to keep me from making that last fateful step into isle six - The Snack Zone. The chips and cookies were threatening to spoil any fruit or vegetable that got in their way. It was a fight between good and bad.

Trembling and confused I screamed out, "What do I do?"

I only had to ask this question once, for I knew the answer - "Will power, I was going to be good."

I then leaned down and picked up a red delicious apple, then took a bite to make the fear and the cravings for chewy, sugary, chocolaty, high calorie, bad for me and my backside, snacks, quickly go away. Yes, I had done it. I had made the right decision.

Now I am not sure, but I think I heard the apple scream out..."Save yourselves! Go back to produce!  this gal is HUNGRY!"

When I finally woke up, I was still in my bed with no signs that I had raided the snack cabinet in our kitchen.  Phew! I was safe from that Supermarket horror and intense cravings, but how long will it last? I wonder?

Once you hit send - YOU CAN NEVER TAKE IT BACK!

Yes, it has been a crazy 12 hours, all because of a series of instant messages between two friends. I wish I could honestly say I knew what they were thinking, but don't have an answer for this one. But I will thank them as they are the inspiration for today's post.


How many times have your seen, done, or heard of people while texting or instant messaging, getting caught in a chat of making fun of others. Sure it's all in fun you say, no harm done or intended, guys will be guys and girls will be girls. So, your messages contained remarks, that you, in your heart of hearts believe was all just a joke, but you forgot the ha ha or the JK at the end. But no worries, nobody will see it, well not until you happen to leave your computer screen on and the one that is the blunt of the jokes, just happens to see it. What are the odds right?  It happens more often than you think. So now what you thought was a private message has now been exposed, then what? You may think, if what was written was all just in joking fun, there was no reason the target of the jokes should get mad or be hurt by the one liners, right? Wrong.


I can't tell you how many times friends and family members tell me that what you read on a computer can be very difficult to figure out if the emotion behind the words has not been indicated. Without some type of comment ie: (Smile, Kidding, JK, Ha Ha, LMAO, LOL) well you get the jist.  Not knowing what the other person is feeling, often times it leads to assumptions, which can be dangerous and often times destructive. What is the ole saying never assume as it only makes an ASS out of U and ME. True, but my philo, people sometimes like to make themselves look better to others at someone else's expense, especially in the cyberworld, as they feel they are exempt from the social rule of etiquette. Forgetting the words of our parents, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I see this a lot with some of the teenagers I know. But in the long run, that just shows how immature or even possibly insecure they really are. But what if you see this in adults? Aren't we suppose to be grown-ups and be setting a good example? But I guess this is where we will have a difference of opinion, and that is to be expected. Everyone handles things differently.


So, back to my post. Now that you've scrambled to try to look as if you've done nothing wrong, the comments that you wrote, are now brought forth, as some of the statements had some truth behind them. Yikes, now what do you say. I was kinda joking but then again this is kinda how I feel?  Nope, 8 out of 10 times, the one who got caught takes an all together different approach, which I saw a lot of when I worked as a Victim Services Specialist. The one who is now feeling hurt, is also blamed for overreacting and having in inability to understand the funny behind it. Now you have a subject this is not only hurting from reading the words that were written, now they are dealing with the hurt that comes with feeling they are not respected as a person.


Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes. Let me repeat myself...Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes!
Why do I say this. I've been the subject of many a jokes while in a group of people. I'm sure that most of us have at some point in our lives. For me, when it was verbal and we were in the presence of others, sometimes I would just laugh it off, sometimes I wouldn't. Yet either way I still felt embarrassed, hurt, etc, and yes, I would have my days trying to devise a plan to get even on a later date.  Verbal and your there to speak up, that's one thing, so now when something has been put into print, and without spelling errors I might add, is a whole different ball game.  It takes thought to type, any remark positive or negative. Even though you still think it was all in fun...that folks, in some states could be looked at as intent to do another emotional harm. So the moral of my post today, to my friends, family, and cyber friends across this grand planet - 
  
Never assume that another person won't ever see your words. Be careful and mindful with what you put in print, what you may think is FUNNY, could be very hurtful to the one it is written about, especially if you don't add the Hahaha's or JK's at the end. NEVER put anything into print that you wouldn't say to someone personally. As hard as it may be to believe, your one negative comment could be what breaks a persons spirit forever. Never use the computer as a tool to hurt others, and last but not least to the newbies of all ages in this massive world of computer, cellphone, iphone (I'm sure I missing many more), once you've hit the send in cyberland...you can Never take it back. Wish more people would heed this advise, just maybe, there would not be as much angst in the world against one another.

As Promised - The First Exclusive Interview for my book.

"Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves" book interview with Rhonda Wardlaw. Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/user/CityofAnnapolis

Adak, Alaska - Forever in my Dreams.

Well I guess today is going to be a day of reminiscing. I have often wondered, if my husband, now of 19 years, and I had not gotten married when we met on Adak, what would have happened to us. Last night I think I was shown an answer. As many of you who know me or have read my book, I have times where I will fall into a twilight sleep and experience very vivid dreams on a multitude of topics.  I'd like to think that last nights dream episode just might hold some of the answers to a long time of "What Ifs."

In my dream, I am on Adak Island in Alaska, and I am still in the military, but in my dream my honey and me are unable to marry.  But I had made him a promise to find his birth family. (Which that part is true, I did make this promise and kept it.)  In my dream I also keep this promise and that is what keeps our connection together. We talk on the phone constantly and I end up going to California to see him and we realize there, that we want to be together and go home to where he lives and get married. Could this have worked that way?  It sounds much more complicated, and I have to say, OK, thanks for the dream - dream fairy, but I like how our love really came together. I wouldn't have asked for it any other way. It was meant to be. Whether people approved or not.

I dream about Adak a lot. I can see the people, I can hear the sound of the wind, I can feel the excitement of dancing with Ron when our love was still not expressed to one another, and we so wanted to share how we felt. There is just something about that little island that I feel I must go back, but everyone says, "Oh Stacey, you can't go back as it would never be the same."  Yes, OK, the island is no longer run by the Military, but that is not what draws me back.  The island just has this power over many of us that where there. I'm sure I could get a few people to share their stories about the island on this post. I guess all I can say...It's magic, and I found my love of a lifetime there. I got pregnant with my first son there, when I was told by Doctor's that I couldn't have kids. Humm? one word...Magic. (smile) So why are we supposed to go back? I don't know, but what I do know, is that I feel like the Jack character on the televison show "Lost". Maybe the men and women of the Seabee's have the answer to giving this island new life.  In the meantime below is a link that shows the life and times of our little island and all its beauty and sense of family.  Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0ixwoYZjMM&feature=share
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhF2wbiXDO8&feature=related

My First Exclusive Book Interview

I woke up like it was any other Tuesday morning, but today was going to be different. It was now my turn to step in front of the camera and let my light shine.  I was not new to the Annapolis Television studio, and myself and the host of the show - Rhonda Wardlaw, well let's just say we get along great. She was the one that helped me get my first break into reporting on air.  When I worked for our location police department, I enjoyed going on television as the city's temporary Public Information Officer, but it didn't stop there. I was asked to promote various programs we had to offer, in my Community Service Unit that I worked in, such as Neighborhood Watch, Watch Your Car, Victim Services, and the biggest one, National Night Out, which included the program I created: The McGruff and Me art Contest. Check out my link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jiSAjunDNk


Yep, that was me, about a year ago. Hair a bit shorter now, and I am 108lbs thinner. *Big Smile*  The art work that is displayed behind me as I spoke, is what my oldest son created, when he was in 5th grade. He is now in High School. So as you see, I should be no stranger to sitting in front of the camera and doing what I do best...talk. As my husband says I need a shirt that says "I'm talking and I can't shut up."  Don't tell him, but yes, sometimes he can be right. Shhhhh that is our secret. If he new I said he was right, I'll never hear the end of it. 


I arrived at the studio on time, and was dressed to impress, but suddenly I felt the tickle of butterflies in my stomach, go to a crazy mob of Halloween bats. 
"What is my problem" I kept thinking to myself trying to make it look as if all was cool and calm with me.  Inside, the word faint kept coming to mind. Then I realized what the problem was, It was not just me going solo in front of the camera to read a teleprompter, this time I was being interviewed, something I feared the most and would never do as a Public Information Officer.  I would leave that job up to the real Officers to do.


They got the set put together, and then I was asked to come sit in a chair.
I began to feel a sense of Panic rush threw me as my mind became consumed with more irratic thoughts. 
"No table to hide my waist line, no table to hide the tapping of my foot, no table to place my hands...my hands, what will I do with my hands?"
I was so worried about my hands, but really, I knew I was just plain nervous. The camera man got my microphone attached to my dress and began to do sound checks.  I kept reminding myself to breath, in 1,2,3, out, 1,2,3...So far so good and then...Rhonda come over and got herself ready to being. It was time, no looking back.


She was flawless, as always...myself, I am sure I looked a mess. The hardest part was when my lips started to stick to my teeth, as the fear of this interview was hiking my body temperature up and up and up. Then suddenly...I felt a case of the giggles wanting to overcome me. 
"Not now, please not now" I kept thinking as I was trying to answer the questions. It felt so much better when she would laugh. I took that time as an opportunity to let my giggle bug out, without looking like a total nerd.


She made the interview so relaxing, that by the end of it all, I was actually telling viewers to report suspicious activity in their area, just like I had done all those years when I was organizing Neighborhood Watch programs for communities all over our city. I guess I can say, deep down I'll always be that make you smile comedian that I also dream of being. Now all that is left, is the review. I guess I'll know how I did in a few days. But with Rhonda Wardlaw putting this together...I know it will be fantastic. But my next biggest worry, lets just hope the camera guy made me look thin and beautiful. I need all the help I can get. *Smile*  Until next time, be safe and if you see anything in your community that looks suspicious, call your local police department and report it, not only could you be saving a life...you just might be saving your own.