Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Once you hit send - YOU CAN NEVER TAKE IT BACK!

Yes, it has been a crazy 12 hours, all because of a series of instant messages between two friends. I wish I could honestly say I knew what they were thinking, but don't have an answer for this one. But I will thank them as they are the inspiration for today's post.


How many times have your seen, done, or heard of people while texting or instant messaging, getting caught in a chat of making fun of others. Sure it's all in fun you say, no harm done or intended, guys will be guys and girls will be girls. So, your messages contained remarks, that you, in your heart of hearts believe was all just a joke, but you forgot the ha ha or the JK at the end. But no worries, nobody will see it, well not until you happen to leave your computer screen on and the one that is the blunt of the jokes, just happens to see it. What are the odds right?  It happens more often than you think. So now what you thought was a private message has now been exposed, then what? You may think, if what was written was all just in joking fun, there was no reason the target of the jokes should get mad or be hurt by the one liners, right? Wrong.


I can't tell you how many times friends and family members tell me that what you read on a computer can be very difficult to figure out if the emotion behind the words has not been indicated. Without some type of comment ie: (Smile, Kidding, JK, Ha Ha, LMAO, LOL) well you get the jist.  Not knowing what the other person is feeling, often times it leads to assumptions, which can be dangerous and often times destructive. What is the ole saying never assume as it only makes an ASS out of U and ME. True, but my philo, people sometimes like to make themselves look better to others at someone else's expense, especially in the cyberworld, as they feel they are exempt from the social rule of etiquette. Forgetting the words of our parents, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I see this a lot with some of the teenagers I know. But in the long run, that just shows how immature or even possibly insecure they really are. But what if you see this in adults? Aren't we suppose to be grown-ups and be setting a good example? But I guess this is where we will have a difference of opinion, and that is to be expected. Everyone handles things differently.


So, back to my post. Now that you've scrambled to try to look as if you've done nothing wrong, the comments that you wrote, are now brought forth, as some of the statements had some truth behind them. Yikes, now what do you say. I was kinda joking but then again this is kinda how I feel?  Nope, 8 out of 10 times, the one who got caught takes an all together different approach, which I saw a lot of when I worked as a Victim Services Specialist. The one who is now feeling hurt, is also blamed for overreacting and having in inability to understand the funny behind it. Now you have a subject this is not only hurting from reading the words that were written, now they are dealing with the hurt that comes with feeling they are not respected as a person.


Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes. Let me repeat myself...Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes!
Why do I say this. I've been the subject of many a jokes while in a group of people. I'm sure that most of us have at some point in our lives. For me, when it was verbal and we were in the presence of others, sometimes I would just laugh it off, sometimes I wouldn't. Yet either way I still felt embarrassed, hurt, etc, and yes, I would have my days trying to devise a plan to get even on a later date.  Verbal and your there to speak up, that's one thing, so now when something has been put into print, and without spelling errors I might add, is a whole different ball game.  It takes thought to type, any remark positive or negative. Even though you still think it was all in fun...that folks, in some states could be looked at as intent to do another emotional harm. So the moral of my post today, to my friends, family, and cyber friends across this grand planet - 
  
Never assume that another person won't ever see your words. Be careful and mindful with what you put in print, what you may think is FUNNY, could be very hurtful to the one it is written about, especially if you don't add the Hahaha's or JK's at the end. NEVER put anything into print that you wouldn't say to someone personally. As hard as it may be to believe, your one negative comment could be what breaks a persons spirit forever. Never use the computer as a tool to hurt others, and last but not least to the newbies of all ages in this massive world of computer, cellphone, iphone (I'm sure I missing many more), once you've hit the send in cyberland...you can Never take it back. Wish more people would heed this advise, just maybe, there would not be as much angst in the world against one another.

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