"Innocent UNTIL PROVEN Guilty - The Red Pills"

Oh

 Yes, it's just going to be one of those kinds of blogging days. I was ready to step into another eight hours of edits and battles with the newest of books, that was due out tomorrow - on the full moon. Yes, the moon plays a vital role in my newest of fictional writings. So why didn't I just forgo my internet and get right into it?  I have all my ducks in a row and it would be great to get all thirty plus chapters done and back in to my publishers.  That would have totally shocked my agents and then some. Yet again my mind has been kidnapped by the thought bandit and I feel inclined to share a little story with you about accusations and how people can be so quick to have the answers on why they can place blame on others before having all the facts. So let’s begin.

It all started last night, just before bed, about 9:05pm to be exact. Our older son was coming down from his excitement of knowing he will be a driver in this year’s Demolition Derby at the Anne Arundel County Fair Grounds on June 2, 2012. (Ok, couldn't resist a little shout out to the volunteers and their ability to make these events possible). He was packing a small bag to stay with a buddy that is also driving in the derby. There is no doubt that the weekend will prove to be labor intensive to prepare, not one, but two cars, for this upcoming event and the tension to get everything done in a short period of time, continues to build. Now the drama began when our oldest son was on a quest to locate a pair of missing sunglasses and asked our younger son if he could borrow a pair of his. Seems ok, right? WRONG! In the past, our older son had a knack for borrowing people’s things and either one – would never return the borrowed item or two - break the item. Our youngest son has fallen victim to this process for many years and in his mind, enough was enough.

This immediately set the ball rolling in our older sons mind. His thinking these days has become very predictable and as a mother we pick up on these things, and because we were once teenagers too. If I had to quote what his mind was conjuring up I would say it was as follows, "If I can't get little brother to loan me his glasses, then I find a way to get mom and dad to tell him to let me use them instead." Our oldest son would keep appealing the no answer he had received from his brother with repeated visits to our bedroom with various looks that tumbled between confusion and frustration, hoping for either my husband or myself to lay the law down and the sunglasses would be his to use as he wished. Nope, didn’t happen and that made him furious. The front door would shut loudly, the truck doors would slam in some way trying to get our attention, positive or negative. We chose not to react.  Life lessons can be a royal bitch, but we all have to learn them sooner or later, and believe you me, he was not happy in away way. Why? He knew we were not going to give in.

What happened next was nothing that were had ever expected, but I believe we took the right approach to teach a vital lesson in the seriousness of accusations. While our older son did his best to located his missing sunglass, he stumbled on a miniature clear zip-lock plastic baggie containing four red capsule pills. Ok Officer and Detective tough guy – Stand down and let me finished before you come code to my house to make an arrest. Trust me; you’re not going to believe the outcome. Our son, after finding these pills, quickly rushed into our bedroom to alert us that our younger son was doing drugs and that these pills were something that had been talked about in school – which school, because he attends two, I have not a clue.  Now we had attended a Junior Fair board meeting and we had taken a guest with us. Now I had said to my son, “How do you know they belong to your brother?” He quickly snapped back, “My friend would not do drugs! Are you blaming her!?” I was not blaming anyone, I wanted him to understand, that without all the facts, what gave him the right come up with the assumption that his brother was guilty. He didn’t know what these pills were and he didn’t know who they belonged to either.

Now in my mind, for all I knew, he could be lying to me and they were his, but I remained calm and looked at my husband and said, “There is only one way to find out,” and I got up and woke up his brother, who had slept through all the drama of the missing sunglasses and the discovery of the red pills. When our younger son awoke, he was rather baffled by my direct Detective mom level of questioning of the plastic baggie and its contents. His first response was a huge grin followed by laughter.

“What’s so funny!?” I asked in a stern voice.

“Mom, those are blood capsules,” and he laughed again as he tried to hold back a yawn.

“Blood capsules? What do you mean blood capsules?” My bottled blonde was really showing through.

“For Halloween to make it look like if someone hit you in the mouth, you’d bleed. I got them at the Flea Market a couple weeks ago. I was going to play a trick on dad when we were wrestling. That if he bumped my face, I’d make it look like I was bleeding to get him back for the cut finger joke he played on us.”

Yes, I felt stupid, but at the same time I knew I had gotten to the bottom of the drama. I even went one step further to test one in the sink. It’s red gel and it stains. UGH! Needless to say, our youngest son laughed himself to sleep and our oldest took a shower and went to bed without another word. My husband just smiled as I climbed back into bed.

“Well, so much for getting to bed early. Thank god tomorrow is Friday.” I said as he pulled me close beside him. “Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams to you. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

And with that, we were sound to sleep sometime after 11:00pm.

The moral of this story, is never accuse someone of anything without having all the facts. I know myself I have been guilty of this type of behavior. Let’s face it; we all have been at some point in our lives. Nobody’s perfect. My problem was never because I found something, it was always a reaction I had because someone was being spiteful, just because they could be, and I didn’t have all the facts. Even if someone puts something in writing that is hurtful, does that make it true? 98% of the time – No it doesn’t. If I write about murder, does that mean I have committed a crime? No! Just because you have something in front of you, it still doesn’t mean it is so. In this world, I see so many who are so quick to take things at face value when it comes to negative information about another. I often feel that this Ludacris behavior of wanting to hear bad things about others is some deep seeded need to feel validated as a better person. We are all good inside and we know right from wrong. Life is all about choices. But let me ask you, what If you knew that someone is doing something wrong and all the proof is there and they have openly admitted fault, would you try to offer guidance that will place them on a path of support and positive thinking, or would you turn and speak harshly behind their back? Why must we find happiness in others pain? Could you imagine if everyone could learn to worry about the most important person in this entire planet? Do you know who the most important person is? They are closer than you think.

So here is my exercise that I ask of you. Go to the nearest mirror you can find and stand in front of it. I’ll give you a hint - That important person is looking back at you. Again, a song comes to mind. I have the link below. You may not like the man, or his type of music, but I ask you to take the time to listen to the words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUrqFkR7QlI

Thank you so much for joining me today. You’re comments, advice and words of support mean so much to me, so keep them coming. It’s what helps me grow as a writer. I wish you all a Fantastic Friday and make your weekend positively memorable. I know I’m going to.

The Dieters Nightmare

Fun with Food and Fiction

Written by Stacey L. Bolin

Friday, April 30, 2010
Revised, Thursday August 11, 2011

The darkness of the grocery store wrapped around me, my feet, cold, as I walked barefoot across the tiled floor. There was not a soul to be found.  I was all alone. The air felt think and heavy with moisture as I tried to control the fear in my breathing. I kept moving forward, following the unknown sounds. In my mind, I was on the verge of remembering, but the images would not come to me. The sounds - familiar. Snapping, popping, and at times....munching, followed by the distant sound of thunder. I continued to move forward with mixed emotions,

"What was it? Why did this all feel so familiar to me? Why was I scared? What was down there waiting for me?"

As I got closer to the sounds, I began to hear whispers, saying my name over and over. "Stacey, come to us, we're over here. Come to us."

Suddenly a bright light shown over me and I was surrounded, but surrounded by what? When I looked down, I couldn't believe what I was seeing,

"Say it wasn't so" I thought.

I was surrounded by hundreds of fruits and vegetables from isle one, they were trying to keep me from making that last fateful step into isle six - The Snack Zone. The chips and cookies were threatening to spoil any fruit or vegetable that got in their way. It was a fight between good and bad.

Trembling and confused I screamed out, "What do I do?"

I only had to ask this question once, for I knew the answer - "Will power, I was going to be good."

I then leaned down and picked up a red delicious apple, then took a bite to make the fear and the cravings for chewy, sugary, chocolaty, high calorie, bad for me and my backside, snacks, quickly go away. Yes, I had done it. I had made the right decision.

Now I am not sure, but I think I heard the apple scream out..."Save yourselves! Go back to produce!  this gal is HUNGRY!"

When I finally woke up, I was still in my bed with no signs that I had raided the snack cabinet in our kitchen.  Phew! I was safe from that Supermarket horror and intense cravings, but how long will it last? I wonder?

Once you hit send - YOU CAN NEVER TAKE IT BACK!

Yes, it has been a crazy 12 hours, all because of a series of instant messages between two friends. I wish I could honestly say I knew what they were thinking, but don't have an answer for this one. But I will thank them as they are the inspiration for today's post.


How many times have your seen, done, or heard of people while texting or instant messaging, getting caught in a chat of making fun of others. Sure it's all in fun you say, no harm done or intended, guys will be guys and girls will be girls. So, your messages contained remarks, that you, in your heart of hearts believe was all just a joke, but you forgot the ha ha or the JK at the end. But no worries, nobody will see it, well not until you happen to leave your computer screen on and the one that is the blunt of the jokes, just happens to see it. What are the odds right?  It happens more often than you think. So now what you thought was a private message has now been exposed, then what? You may think, if what was written was all just in joking fun, there was no reason the target of the jokes should get mad or be hurt by the one liners, right? Wrong.


I can't tell you how many times friends and family members tell me that what you read on a computer can be very difficult to figure out if the emotion behind the words has not been indicated. Without some type of comment ie: (Smile, Kidding, JK, Ha Ha, LMAO, LOL) well you get the jist.  Not knowing what the other person is feeling, often times it leads to assumptions, which can be dangerous and often times destructive. What is the ole saying never assume as it only makes an ASS out of U and ME. True, but my philo, people sometimes like to make themselves look better to others at someone else's expense, especially in the cyberworld, as they feel they are exempt from the social rule of etiquette. Forgetting the words of our parents, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I see this a lot with some of the teenagers I know. But in the long run, that just shows how immature or even possibly insecure they really are. But what if you see this in adults? Aren't we suppose to be grown-ups and be setting a good example? But I guess this is where we will have a difference of opinion, and that is to be expected. Everyone handles things differently.


So, back to my post. Now that you've scrambled to try to look as if you've done nothing wrong, the comments that you wrote, are now brought forth, as some of the statements had some truth behind them. Yikes, now what do you say. I was kinda joking but then again this is kinda how I feel?  Nope, 8 out of 10 times, the one who got caught takes an all together different approach, which I saw a lot of when I worked as a Victim Services Specialist. The one who is now feeling hurt, is also blamed for overreacting and having in inability to understand the funny behind it. Now you have a subject this is not only hurting from reading the words that were written, now they are dealing with the hurt that comes with feeling they are not respected as a person.


Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes. Let me repeat myself...Nobody wants to be the subject of another persons jokes!
Why do I say this. I've been the subject of many a jokes while in a group of people. I'm sure that most of us have at some point in our lives. For me, when it was verbal and we were in the presence of others, sometimes I would just laugh it off, sometimes I wouldn't. Yet either way I still felt embarrassed, hurt, etc, and yes, I would have my days trying to devise a plan to get even on a later date.  Verbal and your there to speak up, that's one thing, so now when something has been put into print, and without spelling errors I might add, is a whole different ball game.  It takes thought to type, any remark positive or negative. Even though you still think it was all in fun...that folks, in some states could be looked at as intent to do another emotional harm. So the moral of my post today, to my friends, family, and cyber friends across this grand planet - 
  
Never assume that another person won't ever see your words. Be careful and mindful with what you put in print, what you may think is FUNNY, could be very hurtful to the one it is written about, especially if you don't add the Hahaha's or JK's at the end. NEVER put anything into print that you wouldn't say to someone personally. As hard as it may be to believe, your one negative comment could be what breaks a persons spirit forever. Never use the computer as a tool to hurt others, and last but not least to the newbies of all ages in this massive world of computer, cellphone, iphone (I'm sure I missing many more), once you've hit the send in cyberland...you can Never take it back. Wish more people would heed this advise, just maybe, there would not be as much angst in the world against one another.