GUESS WHAT???? TIME TO GET YOUR SCARE ON!

Hello, hello, hello. How are all of you this first day of Fall?  I have had one heck of a busy summer, but so thrilled to be back on line, and doing what I love to do best - write and created my large array of handcrafted unique gifts. But the biggest thrill of them all is that in just a few more days it will be time for my blogs - 2014 Thrill Fest - ghost stories - old and new. Legends - Fact or Fiction and new caving ideas for your Halloween pumpkins of all shapes.

As you can see this is when I let myself step back from an every day wife and mother, and transform in "Katarina" Yes, this is a costume that I designed last year after writing a story called - "Hex of the Voodoo Witch - The Grey Hair Curse" - is the first story in my newly released book titled: "Twisted - Creepy Tales From A Mother's Mind" now available on Amazon.com.

But enough about me - I am calling on as many people who would like to share their stories of what scares them. (I will not put your names in the stories that I create).  Think about it... is it a dark rain on a moonless cold blustery fall night? Could it be the sounds of foot steps after everyone is tucked in bed for the night?  I'd like you to tell me, what gives you the creeps, scares you, or sends a chill up your spine when that Halloween season comes round?

 

I am so excited to get things going for what I'd like to call my blog for the Month of October - "Thrill Fest 2014" - LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED. All you have to do is tell me what scares you - If you dare - and let my imagination and love for Halloween develop fictional story that will have you hiding under the covers till dawns early light. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

 

Send your spooky stories,things that have happened to you, or someone you know to, - ukanducrafts@yahoo.com subject line: Katarina's Thrill Fest Blog 2014.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T!

 

A quote from the back seat:

"This much pain should be illegal - but got to keep smiling" 

 

Helllloooo everyone in Internet Land.  Yes, I will say it has been almost three weeks since I've enjoyed my morning coffee and let the words form at the tips of my fingers as my thumbs do their best to keep up with the space bar to keep my words from being jumbled. Last I wrote, I was in the temporary empty nesters training, that has now ended on Aug 1st, 2014, and that I am happy to report - WE PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS. WAA WHOO!!

My youngest son flew out to Nebraska on June 24th, to work with his grandfather on his wheat farm and on July 19th, my husband and I drove out to spend two weeks with friends and family and then the three of us were driving home together on Aug 1st. (So glad everyone in our family now has a license).  Now, the drama of this plan began on July 15th, when I was scheduled for a Lumbar Puncture A.K.A. a Spinal Tap. I was told this procedure was routine and that my doctor had done many of these procedures. Now in this 45 year old brain of mine, I am under this false belief that I'm 25 - O.K. 30 and that I can bounce back from any procedure in just a matter of a day and a few hours of bed rest. NOT THIS TIME! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING! - I wasn’t that was the problem.

My husband takes time off on that Tuesday morning so he could drive me home. I was never told that I had to lie still 6 hours after the procedure. I was told about the possibility of a Spinal Headache, but having had migraines for the past 23 years - this would be a piece of cake. I got through the procedure, the doctor let me get up and leave after 25 minutes of remaining on the procedure bed. I felt rather well, just pain from the two places they accessed my spine. Got in the truck, even went out for brunch at a restaurant. No headache. I had overcome the odds - so I had thought.

By morning of the 16th, life was not as I had envisioned and the only thing I wanted was to be placed into a coma for six weeks to survive the extreme pain that I was in. I could not walk, or sit - only lay down. I had so much to do and had left it until last minute thinking that I would still have three days after the procedure to get stuff done and be ready for our 27 hour drive to Nebraska. My vision of success turned into a Nightmare that was so riddled with extreme pain, that I felt paralyzed. By Thursday, my husband took more time off that morning to rush me to the emergency room in Bethesda, Maryland to see if I could get a Spinal patch done - nope only pain meds and sent home. They didn't have much empathy for our concern about our pending vacation that we had chosen to drive instead of fly.

Now you all know, if I can find a great story to write about, I'm on it, but having to lay down in the back of my Suburban to get some relief, and my husband having to do all the driving - I started seeing and doing some strange things - I blame the pain meds. But in that time, many things had happened to us that I still find funny, so I condensed it to one liners and I entitle this piece –

 

"Possible Book Titles Inspired by Pain from a Back Seat" By Stacey L. Bolin - Enjoy.

·        The Alarm Clock Assault

·        Didn’t leave til 6:30 – Sudden Shits

·        We stopped in Breeze wood, MD, could only eat a hash brown.

·        Spinal Headache on the road – Kill me now!

·        Jurassic Bug Guts Graveyard on the Windshield (See photo below)

 

·        Haunted by the Cinnabon scent from the vendor while in a Love’s truck stop restroom.

·        Sweaty Skin Stuck to the leather back seat.

·        Pain so bad, afraid to fart

·        Saw a huge cross in Kansas – Am I dead?

·        Hubbies Cell Phone Ringing – Again!

·        My man bitchin’ he’d been Looking for Lodging – No luck for Miles…in St. Louis

·        Denny’s and its dinner in my bra – Just couldn’t hold it down.

·        Puke Explosion in Terre Haute

·        The Nebraska Cup Port-a-pisser on the road – When you gotta go you gotta go.

·        Ron the Driver – Rated M for Mature: harsh language and hand gestures and toxic farts

·        Broke Bitch Mountain (Had to be there for that one ;)

·        Broke Dick Mountain (Was my response to the comment above)

·        I made it to the rest room – my shorts didn’t

And the number one title that would have everyone shocked for weeks – was inspired when my husband said to me as we finally got to our destination and climbed into bed for the night and I was still dealing with the pain – “Rub my back Fucka – I drove the whole trip.”

 

I hope you enjoyed my commentary about the first day on our trip. Even though I was dealing with some tremendous pain, after about 8 days, I was back to my old self, movin’ and grovin’. Below are a few pictures I captured during our travels. Thanks for reading and looking forward to sharing more stories that I have put together during the summer and during my empty nester training. Until next time – Blog ya later Alligators.

 

Seeing our oldest son for the first time.
He's now on a new Crew since this picture.

 

Wild Sunflower in Potter, Nebraska

 

My husbands Super "Sonic" weiner

 

Over the Rainbow in Stereo

 

Our youngest farming in the Panhandle of Nebraska

 

A Western Sunset in a mirror heading East.

 

"Right Before My Eyes"

 

Well hello to everyone in internet land. It's been a crazy few days, but for the most part, we have gotten through with only a few bumps in the road. I was notified of a medical situation that will require testing next Tuesday - yes I rather fear the testing process. For this situation, I think its best I do what the doctors advise, but laughed hysterically when they continue to say to me in a straight face - remain stress free. I hear the belly starting to roll again just thinking about it.  "Remain Stress Free", is what I'm thinking to myself as I optimistically listen to the doctors words. My husband and I just joined the Temporary Empty Nester's Training last week, the USA soccer team lost, my kids are west without my husband and I, my husband hates the humid temperatures right now as it triggers war memories, I have a friend who has been battling an infection that placed her into the hospital since early this week and I have to have a lumbar puncture to test the pressure in my brain - so stay stress free - Riigggghhhhhttttt. Wow, that was kind of nice to vent, I feel some weight off my mind already. *Wink*

Ok, so I poke fun at the doctor’s advice, but realistically, I am heeding what he said until I get my tests completed. While keep my life at the most lowest key – and still get out of bed – I have found ways to be productive and, ha ha ha, stress free. I've managed to discover that where my computers screen sits, is actually on a desk - yes the creative eclectic clutter is gone. Say that one three times fast.  It's a nice desk, a dark wood top done in a nice white wash on the sides and doors, oh oh but wait, it gets even better. The bigger discovery - as I clean my office out - I have a book shelf to match. (smile). Ok, I'm being a bit dramatic, but I'm a writer - what's your superpower? LOL.

Now dramatic, you'll love this little story I am about to tell you. It's rather embarrassing, but I'm sure I am not the only person in the world that was faced with a dilemma and the answer was staring them in the face the whole time. Ok, let me tell you the situation.

As I lay in bed early Tuesday morning I got a call from a friend that had asked me to help her put in her air conditioning unit in her windows, as she had been under the weather for some time and was feeling overall weakness.  Confidently I reply "Yes, I can come over and do that, I've put those things in so many times I can do it with my eyes closed." Open mouth insert foot.

When I arrived at her home, I went upstairs and began to attempt to put the unit into the window - something was missing and the unit alerted me that if I didn't do something different it was going to fall to its death on the sidewalk below. "Oh, it needs to have the bar screwed onto the top - One bar, no screws to secure it - YIKES!" I thought to myself trying to give it my MacGyver ingenuity.

I tried to take screws from one item to compensate for the ones that were missing - epic fail. I was baffled in my mind as I tried to wear the look of knowledge. My friend then suggested that maybe it was time to get a new one for the downstairs, "K-Mart has a great sale," I blurted out, while also thinking, "I can get some screws to put this one in and it will stay in place the right way."

Not knowing if I would make it back before they had to go to an appointment, I got a key to her home, then I headed out to the store to make my purchases as my friend and a family member made their way to the hospital. I found the deal of a lifetime and now my friend is the owner of a brand new window shaker, a.k.a. an air conditioner – no more Maryland sweltering heat and humidity.

 

 

Immediately a melody comes into mind when I think back on the next part of my story. So if you'd like the full effect - click onto the link below to add some comedic relief as you read. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg

 

The unit was boxed tightly with three very strong plastic straps. Not having a utility knife or scissors, I used a small hand held hack saw and cut through the ridged plastic. I then proceeded to lift the box bending at the knees and applying all my strength when suddenly, just the top and sides abruptly came off causing me to jolt back and fall onto the floor. “Thank goodness nobody saw this,” I thought to myself.

I got up, dusted off my pride, and proceeded to prepare the window to install the Cooling Box. (Deal with me as I attempt to be creative and try to come up with as many alternate words to describe a window air conditioner. Smile.) I unlocked the window and tried to pull the window open – no movement. I stood puzzled and intently looked the locking mechanism over. I discovered there were other areas that locked on either side of the window, so I made sure they were opened and then again proceeded to pull up on the window to open it – still nothing. Now the main window lock has only two positions – open and closed, but you’ll never guess what I did – turned it back to the lock position thinking it was a trick lock and tried to open the window again – NOTHING! Grrrrr! “What the hell is the mystery of this flipping window” I cursed out loud to myself. Again, I went back to the lock and switched it back to open. I think the person walking by the window found great humor to see me sweating and cursing when once again I pulled up on the window and – STILL NOTHING! The bitch wasn’t budging. I paced back and forth scratching the top of my head with one hand and the other position tightly on a hip.

I began to talk to the window asking it to be nice for me and just open so that I could get this Electric Chilling Cube in place. What do you think happened? Do you think the window finally opened?  Guess again – a two foot piece of bamboo fell on my head that had been cut and placed as another security device to keep the windows locked. “What the…?” I said looking it over wondering where it came from. Instantly Sir Isaac Newton’s: The Universal Law of Gravitation - hit me. I proceeded to open the window one last time – IT OPENED! I was so happy, I got everything screwed and snapped together and got it placed just right, closed the window down on it to keep the cold wind machine in place. I was so proud of myself – when it happened. As I picked up the cord to plug it into the socket light dawned in the dark space of my brain - UUUGGGHHHH!!!!! I had put it in the wrong window! But I had an ace in the hole - I removed the bamboo, unlocked the locks and in less that Ten minutes I found myself sitting on a chair, running my fingers through my sweat drenched hair, as the Window Wind Vortex box blew ice cold air in my face. A true Benny Hill moment - I'm so relieved to know that it's not on camera, though it would have been a funny Youtube moment.

I hope you like my comic relief this morning. Just a little something to lighten your possible stressors of the day and to let you know, we all have those kinds of moments where the answers to our problems are sometimes staring us in the face, but with so much going through our minds, we forget to see the bigger picture.  Thanks for reading and have a safe, happy and healthy Independence Day tomorrow. Blog ya later.