"Is It Breast Cancer" - Part Three

It was brought to my attention that I must condense some of my stories into other formats so that I can continue to write without causing significant delays in the uploading process. So what should have been the rest of the story, is now part three of four parts. I do apologize, if your coffee and muffins are cold, as I had promised you this story on Tuesday. What's the old saying - Better late than never?

 

 

"Is It Breast Cancer - Part Three"

When all else fails, I close my eyes and I can see the place
where all my dreams came true and that the ocean
is symbolic of the moment I found you, that sees me through
another day - Stacey Bolin

 

Following another night of worry and wonder, she managed to collect her fears and get herself up and ready to go with the light of dawn that began kissing the darkness away. Of all days to be filled with such fear, why did it have to be on Valentine’s Day?  Over the years she had grown to view this day of red hearts and people confessing their profound love to one another, as just another day her mind, but did however, enjoyed watching the happiness that it brought to others and in many ways; she harbored a small amount of envy. But today, she didn't have time to think about the Valentine dramas of the past - all she wanted to do was think about getting the flowers delivered to everyone, while feeling proud that she was the first person to see the happiness and joy of the recipients when they opened their door and was greeted with such a special gift by the loved one that had thought of them that day.

 She had gotten all of her early morning deliveries out, picked up her oldest son from school to help her, since he had gotten out early due to mid-terms, and was able to get back to the shop to reload for her second and final round of the day.  She had updated the florist that she would be taking a moment, around eleven, to stop at the Naval Academy to update some insurance documents and then continue to resume with the remaining deliveries. She was relieved when they gave her a smile of approval and sent her on her way. She took that as a sign that all was going to be fine, but the little voice inside her head suddenly put the negative bug in her ear, that all may not go as planned. Whether the customer service representative knew her, or not - would she really remember that November morning?

 She was on schedule and made her way to the other side of town to get her medical dilemma corrected.  Her son chose to wait in her truck to listen to his music, when she turned to him and said, with a strange chuckle to her voice, "This may not go well...if you hear police sirens, don't worry, they just coming to escort me out of the building." Certainly this was not a comment that any rational person would say, especially in the presence of their child of any age, but at the moment, she wasn't feeling anything but the urge to run, as far and as fast as she could.

 The customer service representative greeted her with a big and extra friendly hello and was eager to help just as she had always done before, yet immediately her disposition, went from friendly to guarded as the details of the insurance fiasco unfolded. Clearing she was not wanting to be told that she had not done her job, but in the same breath, remarked about everything that was said and done on the November morning - every detail, and the conversation pertaining to an upcoming wedding she was working on – she had recalled every detail with the exception of the form that had been filled out to schedule auto payments. She had denied ever doing such a document and that she has never taken a blank check to set this process up. This was her reason why she honestly believed she did not file any such document and continued to repeat over and over, in a voice like a child that had gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar, "I don't take voided checks to file ACH payments."

 A cold silence filled the room when she stopped speaking to fully understand what the representative had been saying to her. What she thought was a person that she could trust, was now anything but, as in her mind she now viewed that this person had committed the ultimate betrayal - lying. Without a hint of anger in her voice, she stood up and simply said, “I can’t promise that this won’t go unaddressed.” And with that turned and walked out of the door, determined never to utilize this locations Tri-care assistance again. The only solutions she had left was to hope and pray that the Tri-care office in the Walter Reed National Medical Center, where her doctor appointment was tentatively scheduled for and in less than 24 hours, could correct this problem in time.

 Her son met her with a smile, when she got back to her truck. He was glad to know that she had found a way to keep her fear in check, as he was use to her over reactive ways that always led to unwanted stress and drama. Her personality mimicked a weather forecast - the calm before the storm - as they continued with their remaining deliveries before they could call it a day.

 

***

She stood in the driveway that cool, dusky early Friday morning, teetering on a fine line between, going over the edge, and snapped. Fearing the worst and hoping for the best, she asked her husband - "What do I do?" He looked at her with his best face to keep her spirits positive, but his eyes revealed a soul that was remembering her battle with lymphoma that she had faced in 1994. He was scared what the tests would reveal and all he wanted was to jump in his truck, go to work, hope that all of this was nothing more than a muscle injury and that tomorrow - life would go back to normal. Breast cancer were the two words that had the ability to shake this man to tears as his birth mother had succumbed to this dreadful disease before he had ever had the opportunity to meet the woman who had given him life.

 As he got into his truck, she kissed him, a little longer than normal, allowing herself to feel the softness of his lips. She stood in the driveway, a little longer than normal, as she watch him heading off to work. She closed her eyes and took in the smell of the morning air, a little longer than normal, enjoying a moment of quiet before the city would awake. She was doing everything and anything to capture the moments before the unknown would soon be revealed.

That morning drive was filled with anger, sorry, pain, frustration, as she spoke out loud to herself. Could it be that the guidance of a stronger power had been with her on that morning drive? Clearly she should have never had been behind the wheel that day. To this very day, it was a drive she couldn’t remember, but to her amazement would never forget the excessively busy roads of rush hour traffic on the beltway that had magically forged a clear pathway that offered no delays to her destination.

To be Continued.... 

 

How do you think the story ends?  Would love to hear from you and how you may be feeling about this story. Can you connect in some way? Do you have a friend or family member who has experienced the same medical fear? How did they cope? What was the outcome? We all have a story to tell, and I don't want it to be just my stories. I love getting your replies and it helps to inspire me with my journey to be a writer, even if I only succeed in the blogger world. I do hope that you have a great day and I hope to have the ending uploaded today. That is my goal, however, looking back on my entire blog, I didn't realize I had written so many stories, maybe I should make my blog into a book? (smile).  Until next time - Blog ya later.

 

Is It Breast Cancer "Part Two"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Pze_mdbOK8

 

After speaking with the internal medicine nurse, it took her a few moments to realize that it would be another two days before she would know what lay ahead of her - maybe.  A new matter had been brought to her attention to add to her already distressed mind - she would need to correct an insurance problem.  This would be the deciding factor as to whether or not she would be able to go back to the clinic, that had been following her since 2008 and knew everything medically about her, or would she have to find a new health care provider.

She did her best to contact the insurance company, on her cell phone, as she worked through that Wednesday morning helping a local company deliver flowers for pre-Valentine’s Day, but found the ability to multi-task, while on the road, proved dangerous when she was lost in a community and nearly ran into the back of a parked car. As much as she just wanted to drive to the nearest emergency room for an answer, she had found the ability to convince herself that it was easier to stay calm and refrained from any spontaneous decisions until she got home that afternoon to rectify the insurance dilemma.

Immediately after her last delivery was made, she went straight home to contact Tri-care. From 2:30pm to 5:05pm it was a constant repeating of the problem as she was transferred from agent to agent, within the insurance company, all asking the same question, “Can I help you?” and all revealing the same answer, “Your online payments had not been set up correctly causing your coverage to lapse,” and there was nothing they could do to fix it. She found herself feeling a mounting sense of desperation as she spoke with a representative that refused to let her speak with a supervisor. Her words become uncontrolled as they left her mouth. She made it very clear that if her condition was indeed breast cancer and she couldn’t be treated by her doctor - because of a paperwork glitch - she was going to have someone’s ass for it and that she was not making anything threats - it was a promise. It didn’t matter how much strength she could try to muster up, her ability to remain composed was lost when she stood up and slammed the phone down on the table. She had been gripped with tremendous trepidation

“WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?” She screamed at the top of her lungs into the silence of the room as she abruptly sat back down. Her boys had been home that day and knew that she was very upset by the events that were unfolding. They never asked if she was ok as they knew she would regain her composure, if they left her alone - she would find a way to make things right. She got herself back together before making one last phone call that would be to a Tri-care supervisor who had the ability to make modifications to a policy depending on the type of situation.

Recalling the date and place when she had sat in an office of a Tri-care representative at the Naval Academy on the morning of Nov 2, 2012, she went on to explain that on that day she had sign the waiver to keep her primary care manager, in spite of the insurance company wanting her to have a shorter commute. During that meeting, she had also been talked into setting up auto payments to take the burden off her shoulders when it came to remembering payment dates and amounts, while being asked as she filled out the required paper work, about the best music for a bride to come down the aisle on her wedding day.   

As she continued to speak with a Tri-care supervisor on the phone, she was finally given a solution. That if the person she had filed the paper work with would provide either a copy of the payment request form or a notice of missing document letter, they would reinstated her to full coverage status. A sense of hope came over her briefly taking the anxiety of the unknown medical situation out of her conscious mind - temporarily.

With her financial situation already grim, recovering from this type of error would be a costly blow - the price would be a one year suspension and reduction of coverage. Meaning full payment out of pocket costs to another provider, because she was no longer in Prime status and had been reduced to basic coverage. She knew it was her fault for assuming that someone had done their job correctly and not following up to confirm her assumption.

She knew the representative in the office, that she went to in November, very well and knew that there was only one way to get to the bottom of the problem - go back to Naval Academy to get an answer, but that would have to wait until her lunch break the next day, as she still had to finish her second day of flower deliveries.  

Her night consisted of constant jumbling of thoughts that ranged from rage to fear and everything in-between.  The clock on her nightstand ticked away, one minute at a time, making the unknown feel like a nightmare and the bad guy was lurking to strike when she least expected it. The only solution was that she knew the representative at the Navy Academy would remember her and all would be resolved – If only it was that simple.

 

To be continued….

"Is It Breast Cancer?" Part One

 

She stood in the driveway that cool, dusky early Friday morning, teetering on a fine line between, going over the edge, and snapped. Fearing the worst and hoping for the best, she asked her husband - "What do I do?" He looked at her with his best face to keep her spirits positive, but his eyes revealed a soul that was remembering her battle with lymphoma that she had faced in 1994 - and survived. He was scared what the tests would reveal and all he wanted was to jump in his truck, go to work, hope that all of this was nothing more than a muscle injury and that tomorrow - life would go back to normal. Breast cancer were the two words that had the ability to shake this man to tears as his birth mother had succumbed to this dreadful disease before he had ever had the opportunity to meet the woman who had given him life.

As he got into his truck, she kissed him, a little longer than normal, allowing herself to feel the softness of his lips. She stood in the driveway, a little longer than normal, as she watch him heading off to work. She closed her eyes and took in the smell of the morning air, a little longer than normal, enjoying a moment of quiet before the city would awake. She was doing everything and anything to capture the moments before the unknown would be revealed.

***

Two days earlier she began experiencing significant pain in her left breast and after doing a self-examination, while standing in the shower, she never expected to find the large rock like mass beneath the skin. "How is this possible? I felt fine yesterday?" She said softly through her tears. Images of her family and special moments presented themselves in her memories as her slideshow of life and how blessed she has been. "Please God; please don't take me from my family. I can't leave them, not now...not ever." The sounds of the hot water beating off her skin, masked the sounds of her deepening sorrow. She felt completely broken. There were no doctors she could call until the next day, which meant she was going to have to do her best to remain calm and try to get through the evening hours until the arrival of a new day.

That night, as she lay on the bed trembling, her husband lay down beside her and held her tightly in his arms. With the exception of the exchange of the words - I love you - which they have said to each other every night before falling asleep - no other words were spoken. She did her best to contain her tears, trying to be strong for him, but the growing lump in her throat made hiding her fears extremely difficult. As she lay there watching him fall asleep, eventually her fears turned to exhaustion, and she found the ability to close her eyes, letting the warmth of his skin next to hers, help her relax and fall asleep as well.

The next morning began like any day before her discovery. Breakfasts were made, lunch money handed out, and everyone was on their way to school and work, leaving her home alone to watch the hands on the clock over the mantel, as they slowly reached nine o'clock. She called her doctor’s office to inform them of her discovery and what should she do, only to be told they would have to call her back. She had always had the ability to stay strong for those hurting around her, but when left alone, this body of strength was weak as a broken soul could be.

With her head in her hands, she sat at her dining room table in the warmth of the golden rays of the sun that shown brightly through the picture window and the cordless phone placed within her reach. Ten minutes after her call, the phone rang – it was one of the nurses from the internal medicine clinic. There was a growing urgency and concern in her voice as she explained the situation and what needed to be done before she could come into the clinic on Friday. Panic raced rapidly through her mind, body and soul while the nurse went into detail as she did her best to calmly explain the situation at hand - that was beginning to feel like a total nightmare.  

 

To be continued…