Honesty is the Best Policy

A readers question to me after reading my book.

This was originally posted by Stacey Bolin on Monday, July 25, 2011 at 9:39pm on my Facebook page for:

Through The Barracks Window - A Time Of Waves Author: Stacey L. Bolin
So, one day I was asked by a reader of my book...what made you change? To know me about 6 months ago, I was extremely heavy in weight. I can openly say I was depressed, had been for years. But now I am realizing that I need to thank God for unanswered prayers. I'm now able to see both the good and unfortunately the bad in situations and OK, yes, people too. So, to answer the question what made me change. Here is the biggest reason. My unconditional love for the three most important men in my life.  Ron, My husband of 19 years and my two miracles My oldest son Ryan and my youngest son Reese.
My second reason as I sit here this morning, with many questions on the mind, begins and ends with a question. Have you ever been living your life and one day you suddenly wake up?  I mean, wake up to a completely too new way of thinking, doing, speaking? 15 years ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease while in the military. I overcame it but in my mind, the excessive behavior to learn to cope was endless when the military retired me. People knew me, but they didn't know me.
 I wrote a book that took 22 years clearly illustrating what I had been through and how I had to repeatedly overcome the odds. It was only this April while doing edits and spell checks, I finally faced my denial. Yes I am Stacey Bolin and I had cancer. Wow, it was a lot to finally say those words. Now... I am a survivor.
In all this realization I discovered a strange thing, this book was not only for me. It was also for my military family that have too, been faced with unwanted life altering challenges.  We now live in a world were we have television reality, but there’s a bigger reality that is being overlooked besides our failing economy. So many military members come home; needing complete mental and physical support, but for some reason, when the cameras are no longer around and the story no longer keeps it's ratings in the Neilsen reports, the help they need quickly falls apart.  Many have done what I did when faced with stress, they let their lives get so extreme, you honestly believe you know what is best for yourself.  This way of life can become dangerous and - Deadly.
 I want to make a difference. I decided the book I wrote and as you can see below, has been published. This was the therapy I needed and hopefully will be for them, and for others out there to understand- We all have a power within ourselves to overcome. It may not feel like it at the time, but in a world of positive thinking and the love of family and friends we can prevail.   I want to do my part by giving to the Wounded Warrior Foundation, portions of my sales. I am not asking for fame, fortune or to become a celebrity.  I am asking all of you for your help to aid me in getting the word out, about my story that is true, and has a Soulful Meaning – Helping others.  I want people in our entire world and our military members to understand, EVERYONE has a purpose, EVERYONE has a  meaning, and to my military family - You fought for our freedom and people care. My husband was in Desert Shield and Desert Storm. It has been only since my book has come out, that he is slowing sharing what he went through.  I myself have never served on the front lines; I never stood in front of the enemy that had me locked in his sights, yet if I did all this emotional destruction to myself because of cancer, imagine what they must be going through. This world needs to change. To quote Mr. Michael Jackson "I'm looking at the man in the Mirror - It's time to make that change."  I do appreciate your taking the time to read my words and to listen to why I woke up, but why my heart now aches.  So now I must ask you two questions. What will it take for you to wake up, if you need to?  What will it take to change you, if you need changing? God Bless - BU3 Retired Stacey L. Bolin

Passion and Desire

Ever had a strong passion or a strong desire for something? I mean, you want it so badly it made you do dumb things? Would you do just about anything to obtain and satisfy that want, that need, that - I got to have it in your life, kinda feeling? Yes we have all said these things, and at times, we have all been there one time or another in our lives.  So OK, what if this need was to have money, a career, love, or maybe just the reassurance that you are needed in this big thing called life. For whatever the reason may be, everyone has a desire for something. Some desires are simplistic - "Boy I would love a piece of that chocolate cake, but I am on a diet". Well that may not always be simplistic if your a chocoholic. (Smile) Other desires can be dangerous, "Man I would like to get to know that pretty girl in the room or that great looking guy" and you find out their married. Whoops, stay away from that one.  Then there is the big stuff, Fame and Fortune.  I know, your probably saying, hey Stacey, you forgot to mention this and that.  That is what is unique about all of this. Everyone is an individual and we all have our own thoughts and opinions. These were my thoughts when I ventured into something new and exciting to me.

Today, I met passion and desire mixed with reality, head on. It scared the crap out of me, yet what gave me strength to see it through...my family. I have a deep seeded passion for writing and they are just finding this out. I love to write the true stories, but I will be the first to admit, I'm liking the world of Fiction more and more. Today I went into a studio to discuss plans to begin recording my stories and add musical accompaniment for added effect, my motto, "Dare to be Different". My desire has always been to have my stories become both LMN two hour specials and/or movies for the silver screen.  To become successful in either one of these endeavors, it will take devotion and commitment, and could cause a strain on my family.  I know it will take lots of devotion as I do not think I'll be lucky enough to have someone discover me in a Grocery Store or Gas Station. To look at me, nobody is going to say...hey you look like you have a head full of stories and characters that are dying to get onto paper and out for the world to see and read.  I tell people I am a jack of all trades and a master of none, but have the passion and desire to learn things to the best of my ability so I can say I mastered it.

So where am I going with all talk. I am finally going to say it without fear, I want to produce movies and write screen plays, that is my passion. (Appropriate movies, a love story, a horror story, a mystery, haha... get your heads out of the gutter). My desire to do all of this is not for me, but for - My family, I love them and like any Mom would want, I want to give my family security in a world of uncertainties.  So I found myself at a crossroad, worried, could I balance the passion, desire without hurting my unconditional love for my family.  I sat and pondered this question to myself and I can honestly say, Yes, as long as I have the support of my Three guys, The four of us will prevail and some day, we will be at our own red carpet premier of...(Haha thought I would tell you hua?, Nope can't tell you which book or my dreams won't come true)

When good people do GREAT things.

I'm retired military, wow you say I look to young to be retired military? You are so kind, I'm flattered, I'm, I'm...I'm needing to get back to blogging today's reason that I am sending a shout out to gate guards and to Justin, in the ID office at the United States Naval Academy.  These three guys are the reason for my story that I am about to tell. They did a wonderful thing for me today, and for that gentlemen...I am truly grateful.

As I was starting to say, I am retired military (Seabee...OOO Rah!) and since my tango with Hodgkins disease in 1994, I am required to take 5 prescriptions a day, the newest being Metformin a.k.a. Glucophage. Yes, it is used for diabetic reasons and due to a secondary illness that was discovered in December of 2010.  I have learned over the years, that when a doctor prescribes any medications it is in my best interest to take them, as bad things have happened to me in the past, when I thought I knew best.

So now that I have given this tidbit of information, let set the stage for the events that transpired and how I almost began to panic. It was 6:30 this morning, I had been up for about an hour and got my husband and my son feed and off to work. My plan, hang out on the computer for a bit then get my youngest son up and ready for his summer camp program.  But instead I found myself standing in front of my dresser in my bedroom and was stricken with a rush of fear.  Not because I was trying to avoid my mirror, because there is nothing more horrific that my face looking back at me in the morning. I had realized that I had only one Metformin pill left, but the worst part was that I still had not found my military ID that has been missing since Monday of this week. Without that small piece of blue plastic with my name and rank on it, there is no base access and with base access...there is no prescription refills. Now my husband believes that my being a blonde has a lot to do with my excellent ability to loose things. My response to that - I'm a blonde because a Loreal hair coloring kit says I can be, (Yes, I'm smiling), and I don't loose things...I just miss place them temporarily - OK, most of the time. But when I do loose something, honey it's gone for good.

At this point in my morning, my first thought after my streak of fear...go online and make an appointment, which is what I did, but couldn't get one until August 1, at 13:30 (1:30 pm Civilian time). I got the appointment but then having a blonde moment, don't tell my husband, I realized that this still would not help me in getting my prescription refilled and I could not take my prescription anywhere off the base. On the appointment slip that I printed out, I saw instructions for getting onto the base if someone had lost there ID card.  I would have to obtain a day pass. Everyone out there that has tried to get on a military base and needed to get a day pass, knows what this process is. Lets just say it's mounds of red tape and stress. There are moody customer service representatives and heaven forbid you don't have two forms of proper ID that has your picture on it. Then you need proof of car insurance and registration information, contact phone numbers, next of kin, your under ware size, what foods you like, who's your favorite college football team...OK, OK, maybe not that extreme but you get my point.

I was not looking forward to two hours of this unwanted stress. Suddenly my brain kicked in full gear and a little voice said, "If you smile, they'll let you in", you know like the same voice from the movie Field of Dreams - "If you build it they will come". Hahah, Couldn't resist. So I got my make-up on so that I could be seen in public without fear of being arrest by Police for Horrific exposure. Yes, with out make-up, I can make Medusa look like Ms. Universe.  I found my military service release document, because it had my social security number, my drivers license and truck registration, oh and one more very important item...a copy of my newly published book "Through the Barracks Window: A Time of Waves". It has my picture on the cover, so there is another form of ID. *wink*. Ok, that was not the reason I took a book with me, I'm not that blonde, but I did have motive as to why I did bring one. My plan, if I could get on the base, then I would give the guy that would help me get my new ID, today instead of Monday, a free signed copy.
I also decided not to obtain a day pass and went right to the check-in gate. I had my registration and drivers license so the guards would know that my base stickers, that were current, were mine and this was my truck I was driving. I was thrilled when I gave both guards a smile and they gave me a smile and asked "Is that you?"  I have an advertisement decal on the drivers door of my truck to promote my book. Before I knew it, I was telling them my story and that I am trying to raise money for the "Wounded Warrior Foundation".  I enjoyed telling them it was about my military career, etc. etc, then I explained my dilemma and showed them the empty prescription bottle. To make a long story short, they let me in with the stipulation, I must bring them back a business card. Which I did as soon as I realized I had some in my purse of doom. Ah yes the purse of doom, I'm going to leave that story for another day.

It was nice to walk into the ID office and see that nobody was waiting.  It was as if the office had been opened for just little ole me. I threw the guys behind their desks the best smile I could and then I felt my worry face take over. I explained my situation, but then let them know...I came with a bribe and would use it if I needed to, so I could get my appointment today instead of Monday.
Justin, laughed and said, "we don't need a bribe, my nine o'clock appointment never showed up. You came in at the perfect time, are you a dependant?"
 I was so glad that I wasn't, I am the sponsor which makes the process of obtaining ID cards, lost or expired, easier. He took the information that I brought with me, and in less than seven minutes I had a freshly laminated ID card in my palm of my hand.  I don't think he'll ever know how thankful I was for his kindness and his willingness to process my card rather than have me wait until Monday.  I couldn't help it, my bribe was no longer that, it was now a gift and a thank you of kindness. I signed a book for him that said - "Justin, thank you for keeping me healthy and getting me a new ID card.  Most Sincerely, Stacey L. Bolin 7/27/2011

In our world today, it seems like some people are just to busy to take the time to help others. While others always seem so angry and negative all the time, that everything in the world is bad, that no good can be found. Now being that I nearly died from my illness in 1995, the world to me is where I'd rather be and that I do my best to stay positive, yes I fall off the wagon into negative ville, but I'm quick to jump back on the positive road and keep looking towards the future.  To quote the music group - Timbuk 3, "The futures So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades."  Thanks for reading my blog today and I hope that you keep this in mind. I am asking all of you, take the time, if someone does something nice for you - Pay It Forward, it just might change a life.

Temptation Tuesday

I woke up this Morning full of ideas for my newest book entitled: "Bellows in the Mist".  It's a Murder, Mystery Suspense, and Thriller, which I was inspired to write about when a person I knew got caught in a lover’s triangle. Now whether the triangle was intimate or not, that I'll never know, but just the idea of someone caught up in a situation like this, does wild things for a uniquely different type of mind, like mine, to add a creative twist to their fictional writing. I have quite the imagination and it can run rapid when the writing atmosphere is just right. My husband tells me that I watch too many "LMN" (Lifetime Movie Network) shows. Little does he know that I get my greatest inspiration and ideas when just listening and watching people.  I can't tell you how many conversations I have overhead just being at a restaurant and a couple behind us, is having a small spat and believes that they are the only ones that can hear what they are saying. Sometimes I'd love to turn around and politely say to them, "Excuse me. I just want to say that I can hear what you fighting about and I want to thank you. I just figured out how to write chapter 23 in my book." and then give them a wink.

There has been other times when we have been with friends out dancing and you over hear someone on their cell phone trying to assure the person, on the other end of the phone, that they love them and will be home soon, while at the same time they keep rolling their eyes and telling the lover of the evening to keep quite.  (Come on, I know you have seen this before. You don't have to be dancing or at a bar to witness this...Heck I've see this happen in Grocery Store before.)Hum? Is this being deceptive? Maybe it is, and then again maybe it's not? I don't ever get the facts of what was really going on, for all I know it's all innocent and they were talking to their mother who is in town who wants to spend more time with family. On the other hand, it could be a spouse that is tired of being lied too. Who knows, but what I do know... it does spark the brain to come up with some outrageous, off the wall, I can't believe you would think of that, type of twisted plots that result in one heart shocking outcome. My inspiration to add places and descriptions that are the surroundings of my characters, come from many things throughout my life, both past and present. Then having the right music playing as I sit before my computer, brings the words from my soul to my fingers to then type it into my windows program, and before I know it the words are alive in front me. So as you have probably already realized, the Chapter I am in the process of editing right now, is about a woman scorned and her plans for revenge.

This makes the title of today’s blog, “Temptation Tuesday” an excellent choice of words. But don't be fooled folks, I heard you, "Wow, did she just tell us what the book is about and who did it?"  No, I didn't do any such thing. I promise you....You'll never in a million years believe who did it. To me, there is nothing better than giving the reader a great read with the shock of shockers in the end.

It's true Mom wants to be a writer.

So here I sit, and for the life of me I'm trying to figure out, what most of the teenage and young adult population has mastered. Blogging, texting, web pages, URL’s, http's and all that wonderful stuff. I never believed that I of all people would really need this type of technology...how very wrong I am. Here recently I just published my first book. I guess it could be looked at as the, who, what, when, where, and why, I got to this day. 

I'm told it is classified as a memoir, however I took a non-traditional approach in telling my tragically humorous tale so that others could experience emotions that come hand in hand with my words. What's great is my book can be labeled non-fating, as I didn't add any preservatives or fillers. It’s all natural. :)  Yes, along with writing I find that I enjoy being the comedic type. So how does a mom of three boys if you include my husband, yes I have to say, my husband is the biggest boy of the family.  Yikes...ok, let me slow down just a bit, we are all just getting to know each other, and I almost got sidetracked there, as I'd love to dog on my honey, but for now, I'll refrain from my extra witty wifely way, as you and I are just getting acquainted, but as we go on our blogging adventure, we'll be getting back to the honey doggin' soon enough. (I'm smiling) 

So where do we start, how about I share with you as to why being a mom in a house full of men is challenging and to find time to write new books, kids’ books and now blogs (Did I spell that right?) is even more challenging. Where should I start...how about with the dirty underwear laying in a pile of laundry...I think if it could talk it would say to me right now.

"Uh, hey peeest, hey you, yeah you on the computer...down here silly in the laundry pile, how about getting off that computer and taking me down to get cleaned up with the other undies. It's real easy, see you put a bunch of us and some other things like towels in the machine, close the door, add the soap, bleach and fabric softener, and then lets us swish around for about an hour. Then you could write and be doing laundry at the same time."

But right now I look at it and think... The weather was 99 degrees and a 105 index and that underwear was worn by a young man who sweats A LOT...I think I'm going to need to get some hazmat gear on to pick up and complete this laundry detail. And so now feeling guilty that the laundry needs to get done, I'll leave you to this, I'm ready to be a blogging mama and I'm hoping you’re ready for some fun and good times.  Enjoy my book and I'm proud to say, there are more to come.