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A quote from the back seat:
"This much pain should be illegal - but got to keep smiling"
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Helllloooo everyone in Internet Land. Yes, I will say it has been almost three
weeks since I've enjoyed my morning coffee and let the words form at the tips
of my fingers as my thumbs do their best to keep up with the space bar to keep
my words from being jumbled. Last I wrote, I was in the temporary empty nesters
training, that has now ended on Aug 1st, 2014, and that I am happy to report -
WE PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS. WAA WHOO!!
My youngest son flew out to Nebraska on June 24th, to work with his
grandfather on his wheat farm and on July 19th, my husband and I drove out to
spend two weeks with friends and family and then the three of us were driving
home together on Aug 1st. (So glad everyone in our family now has a
license). Now, the drama of this plan
began on July 15th, when I was scheduled for a Lumbar Puncture A.K.A. a Spinal
Tap. I was told this procedure was routine and that my doctor had done many of
these procedures. Now in this 45 year old brain of mine, I am under this false belief that I'm 25 - O.K. 30 and that I can bounce back from any procedure
in just a matter of a day and a few hours of bed rest. NOT THIS TIME! WHAT THE
HELL WAS I THINKING! - I wasn’t that was the problem.
My husband takes time off on that Tuesday morning so he could
drive me home. I was never told that I had to lie still 6 hours after the
procedure. I was told about the possibility of a Spinal Headache, but having
had migraines for the past 23 years - this would be a piece of cake. I got
through the procedure, the doctor let me get up and leave after 25 minutes of
remaining on the procedure bed. I felt rather well, just pain from the two
places they accessed my spine. Got in the truck, even went out for brunch at a
restaurant. No headache. I had overcome the odds - so I had thought.
By morning of the 16th, life was not as I had envisioned and
the only thing I wanted was to be placed into a coma for six weeks to survive
the extreme pain that I was in. I could not walk, or sit - only lay down. I had
so much to do and had left it until last minute thinking that I would still
have three days after the procedure to get stuff done and be ready for our 27
hour drive to Nebraska. My vision of success turned into a Nightmare that was
so riddled with extreme pain, that I felt paralyzed. By Thursday, my husband
took more time off that morning to rush me to the emergency room in Bethesda,
Maryland to see if I could get a Spinal patch done - nope only pain meds and
sent home. They didn't have much empathy for our concern about our pending
vacation that we had chosen to drive instead of fly.
Now you all know, if I can find a great story to write about,
I'm on it, but having to lay down in the back of my Suburban to get some relief, and my husband
having to do all the driving - I started seeing and doing some strange things -
I blame the pain meds. But in that time, many things had happened to us that I still find funny, so I
condensed it to one liners and I entitle this piece –
"Possible Book Titles Inspired by Pain from a Back Seat" By
Stacey L. Bolin - Enjoy.
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The
Alarm Clock Assault
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Didn’t
leave til 6:30 – Sudden Shits
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We
stopped in Breeze wood, MD, could only eat a hash brown.
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Spinal
Headache on the road – Kill me now!
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Jurassic
Bug Guts Graveyard on the Windshield (See photo below)
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Haunted
by the Cinnabon scent from the vendor while in a Love’s truck stop restroom.
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Sweaty
Skin Stuck to the leather back seat.
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Pain
so bad, afraid to fart
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Saw
a huge cross in Kansas – Am I dead?
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Hubbies
Cell Phone Ringing – Again!
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My
man bitchin’ he’d been Looking for Lodging – No luck for Miles…in St. Louis
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Denny’s
and its dinner in my bra – Just couldn’t hold it down.
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Puke
Explosion in Terre Haute
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The
Nebraska Cup Port-a-pisser on the road – When
you gotta go you gotta go.
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Ron
the Driver – Rated M for Mature: harsh language and hand gestures and toxic
farts
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Broke
Bitch Mountain (Had to be there for that one ;)
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Broke
Dick Mountain (Was my response to the comment above)
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I
made it to the rest room – my shorts didn’t
And the number one title that would
have everyone shocked for weeks – was inspired when my husband said to me as we
finally got to our destination and climbed into bed for the night and I was
still dealing with the pain – “Rub my back Fucka – I drove the whole trip.”
I hope you enjoyed my commentary
about the first day on our trip. Even though I was dealing with some tremendous
pain, after about 8 days, I was back to my old self, movin’ and grovin’. Below
are a few pictures I captured during our travels. Thanks for reading and
looking forward to sharing more stories that I have put together during the
summer and during my empty nester training. Until next time – Blog ya later
Alligators.
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Seeing our oldest son for the first time.
He's now on a new Crew since this picture. |
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| Wild Sunflower in Potter, Nebraska |
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| My husbands Super "Sonic" weiner |
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| Over the Rainbow in Stereo |
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| Our youngest farming in the Panhandle of Nebraska |
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| A Western Sunset in a mirror heading East. |
