To write this story, I was inspired by the following music. If played, I hope that you will feel what I am feeling and how much this story means to me.
The Cake I made my honey this year. "The Devils Black Forest Cake" |
Now it is no secret that for many souls in the world, the thought of their birthday is worrisome. Why? I don't why, but I can speak for one person...myself. For me, more than twenty years ago, my birthdays were something that I looked forward to, but then when the day came and ended it was like a significant loss. To me it was a loss of another year gone by. It was another year closer to old age and it was another year closer to my day of passing on. I was always sad when my birthday would fade into an evening sky to give birth to another day. Every birthday before my cancer, I would cry myself to sleep. I should have been grateful all those years and for my gift of life. It wasn't until I was diagnoses with stage 2A Hodgkin’s disease in May of 1992, that my perspective on my birthdays had changed. No more crying for the loss of another year. It was a time to celebrate another year that I had gotten to live in this mixed up wild and crazy adventure called life. I chose to embrace the gifts that I've been given and to love with every ounce of my heart and my soul.
For my husband, a dark time had fallen upon him when he began struggling within when it came time for his 40th birthday to come calling. For many this is a time in life that becomes a struggle that we all will probably face or maybe have already faced. The worst that many friends have told me, they feared the dreaded label of being called – Over the hill. That those words "Over the Hill" have this impact on the way one see that their life span is half over, well unless you live past 80 years of age. You start to wonder if the choices you have made in your life were the right ones. Some even face their own mental "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda," thoughts.
On my husbands 40th birthday, I wanted to do what I could to help him get past the thoughts that were wearing him down about growing old. It was on that day that I knew he needed to experience his past and what better way, then bringing an old military friend back into his life. Someone who had the connection to a time in his life when my guy was without responsibilities or worries. A time when a single man could experience life and the joys within it and know he is only responsible for himself and the choices he makes. I believe in the saying, you have to love yourself before you can love anything else. People at one point or another will have their moment when they question who they are, what they are doing, and where they are in their life. I had planned a huge surprise party with over 50 of his closest friends and family members. my husband was unaware of what was being planned. I decided that the biggest surprise, his long lost friend from 18 years ago would be a fantastic way to start the weekend off and so they arrived on the Friday to attend Saturday nights party. But the arrival of his long lost friend would be an early surprise and he arrived that Friday night.
I wish you could have all seen the look on his face when he opened the door and their stood his friend Fred. I was so happy that they arrived a day early, driving all the way from Michigan in the worst snow storm that fell upon the east coast in 2010. It was great that he and his family could spend more time with his long lost friend. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room from any of us on that cold and snowy Friday evening. It was as if life had come full circle. I was lost in the moment. There I stood, watching two men reconnect as if it had only been a day since they last had seen each other. To see my husband so filled with joy and happiness humbled me in so many ways. To see his smiles, that had been trapped away and would only come to the surface now and again, were free. I wanted to bottle this moment so that every year we could open it up and feel this love and joy all over again and again. Since that birthday a few years ago, we have created a new tradition. It is called birthday hell week.
What it entails, is during the week of our birthdays, we surprise the birthday boy or girl, man or woman in our home by implementing but not limiting ourselves to various secret activites such as, playing jokes, decorate rooms, giving special gifts, cards, and streamer cars/trucks over the course of one week. On the actual birthday, we have a dinner that is chose by the birthday person. It could be dinner out or a nice dinner home, followed by homemade birthday cake, ice cream and being surrounded by friends and family. Sometimes the gatherings are big, and sometimes small. Either way, it is a celebration to share with the birthday person, and a special way to show them how much we appreciate them and how much we love them in our lives.
I wish you could have all seen the look on his face when he opened the door and their stood his friend Fred. I was so happy that they arrived a day early, driving all the way from Michigan in the worst snow storm that fell upon the east coast in 2010. It was great that he and his family could spend more time with his long lost friend. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room from any of us on that cold and snowy Friday evening. It was as if life had come full circle. I was lost in the moment. There I stood, watching two men reconnect as if it had only been a day since they last had seen each other. To see my husband so filled with joy and happiness humbled me in so many ways. To see his smiles, that had been trapped away and would only come to the surface now and again, were free. I wanted to bottle this moment so that every year we could open it up and feel this love and joy all over again and again. Since that birthday a few years ago, we have created a new tradition. It is called birthday hell week.
What it entails, is during the week of our birthdays, we surprise the birthday boy or girl, man or woman in our home by implementing but not limiting ourselves to various secret activites such as, playing jokes, decorate rooms, giving special gifts, cards, and streamer cars/trucks over the course of one week. On the actual birthday, we have a dinner that is chose by the birthday person. It could be dinner out or a nice dinner home, followed by homemade birthday cake, ice cream and being surrounded by friends and family. Sometimes the gatherings are big, and sometimes small. Either way, it is a celebration to share with the birthday person, and a special way to show them how much we appreciate them and how much we love them in our lives.
Since that 40th birthday, my boys and I have continued with our tradition and new way to celebrate our joy and happiness that my husband was brought into this world. He is a kind soul, with a very large and giving heart. Often times he has even sacrificed his own happiness to please others. He is a father that I could only wish that I had in my life. He is gentle and kind and honestly cares about others - as long as you do him no harm. He is our angel on earth and I can only pray as his wife that I am blessed with celebrating many birthdays with him. Below is a video of the final surprise that we gave him for this year’s birthday hell week. (His friends had not shown up yet, he was just getting home from work) The reason we did this for him is because he had mentioned that he didn't recall ever having a birthday that was a themed party when he was a child. He remembers having friends over and staying overnight, but never the extreme of matching decorations and even a pinata. So we decided to give him a "Hot Wheels" party. We even had party favors. Everyone got their own wet and wear "Hot Wheels" tattoos. This was his response when he came home on his birthday and the room was decorated. It was great to see that smile. We love you Dad. Happy Birthday sweetie and many many more. All my love to you - Stacey