Meatless Chicken MOM!? WHAT THE BLAZES!?

My boys and their first day back to school.
2012

 

It was a great day, and I was in the mood to do some serious cooking. The weather outside was hinting that cooler temperatures were on the horizon that would one day lead to my favorite season - autumn. I had done some grocery shopping and had decided that a roasted chicken with baked potatoes, peas, homemade rolls and a chocolate banana cream pie for dessert would be the perfect first day of school dinner.

My very own Chocolate Banana Pie.
Vanilla Pudding with Cut up bananas as the bottom layer
in a graham cracker crust.
then sprinkly crushed up vanilla wafers
then add the chocolate pudding layer.
Serve with a big scoop of cool whip.
Delicious!

Now normally when roasting a chicken, one would put it in a shallow pan, season it with your favorite taste bud teasing pleasures. Heck, some people may go as far as tenting it with tin foil to help keep the meat tender and juicy while only letting small amounts of that delicious sent, that floats through the air, escape and has your family constantly asking - "Mom...when's dinner, the smell is making me super hungry".

Yes, I'll be honest, I am one of those tenter people, but on this day I got a little daring and decided to use my chicken roaster stand on our grill. I've used it before and the outcome was delicious, so why not use it again and make baked potatoes on the grill as well.  I had timed it just right that by the time my husband got home from work, you could smell the delicious aroma throughout the community - Just want I wanted. What’s better than the smell of a great comfort food aroma dancing along a cool late afternoon breeze? Knowing it's coming from your house and it's your dinner. Yeah baby!



I got this a Bass Pro Shop - LOVE IT!
You literally cook the chicken or turkey standing up.

It comes apart so that you can filled the center with
beer, chicken broth, and/or water and spices, and then you rub the
chicken with spices too and cover it with a tent of tin foil
and put it on the grill. The head comes throught the vents and
acts like a roaster/steamer.

 

As I prepared the serving plates and side dishes, I took the chicken off its cooking stand and placed it onto a platter. It was a beautiful golden color and the scent of the spices was wonderful, however the chicken looked very strange to me. Kind of like a chicken on big time steroids. Its shape was very strange.

"That's odd?" I thought for only a moment, and then went on with getting the food to the table. My oldest son, who lately has been on a see food diet, meaning everything he sees he eats, took it upon himself to carve the bird. There was nothing holding this guy back, he'd been smelling this cook all afternoon and he was done waiting.

As I finally sat down with my family to delve into our dinner, I was once again drawn into the shape of our roaster chicken. "There is something wrong with the chicken. Don't you think so or is it just me?" I said to my husband and boys "It looks weird."

My husband then took a longer look as well. "Hua? Yeah, it does, like it's been working out at the gym or something. An Arnold Schwarzenegger look." He remarked with a chuckle followed with a puzzled expression. As my son tried to carve the meat off the bone, he was met with a growing frustration that he was not getting the food on his plate fast enough.

 "What's wrong?" I asked, worried that my special dinner was overcooked.

"Ah dry!, It won't carve!" He replied in a sarcastic and agitated tone voice.

"No way it's dry, I saw the juices bubbling under the skin on the grill."  I thought, hoping that he was wrong.

 "Let me try," boasted my husband thinking that it took a big man to crave a bird. "What the &^^*&^#%!!!!"

"What's wrong?" I questioned, worried that now my husband was just as frustrated as my son, I must have really turned our supper into a Griswold Christmas dinner moment.

"Stace, there isn't any meat on this chicken! look it's all bone when I cut into it." He was very serious - this bird was meatless!

 I got up from my chair and walked over to the other side of the table where both my husband and older son were working feverishly as if they were trying to revive an inner tube that had gone flat, just before it was time to tie it to a speed boat and zoom across the water for an afternoon of water adventures.

"Let me try." Just as the words left my mouth a pivotal moment passed over me and I caught the look on my younger sons face. I could see in his eyes a sense of worry that he would not get his favorite chicken and gravy dinner, because mom had dried the bird to the bone. "Let's check to see if there is meat underneath, and with that, I flipped it over. (I think a heaven of angels burst into song and no joke the song I added came to mind - Enjoy)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

Light had dawned at the Bolin table that night.  Clearly it had been a long day as not one person noticed or even realized what was wrong until after flipping the chicken over. A True OMG I AM SUCH A DUMBASS MOMENT! I had place it on the platter breast side down, but because I had cooked the chicken standing up on the grill, it made the legs fall backwards giving the appearance that the bottom of the chicken was the breast side. To Funny - Not one of us noticed that the chicken was upside down. Even after cutting it, they believed it was dry; again not even realizing it was upside down. We all looked at each other dumbfounded and then burst into a fit of laughter that lasted all through dinner.

So the moral of this funny tale, be sure your breasts are always in the upright position. Have a great day and enjoy the weekend! Until next time - Blog ya later.