I WANT TO KNOW WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I WANT TO KNOW WHY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE!!!!!

“Stacey, only people who are mad write in bold letting that is capitalized.”  Well, guess what....I am not only mad...I am pissed!  I want an answer and not the basic answers of "That's life, things happen, God has a plan, and all that happy jazz."  Today that is not good enough for me! When I went through cancer treatments 18 years ago, I feel that I had an advantage I knew what my cure was. But what if your doctor told you there is no cure.  My philo on that one....BULL!! My illness, I was told that there was nothing more they could do. Well guess what - here I am 18 years later. There is a power in us all. Don't get me wrong, conventional medicine also helped out, but for me, there was something special inside me almost like a peaceful guidance to keep my emotional adrenalin at bay. I incorporated a positive power of thinking and there were so many prayers out there from friends and family.  Now I am sure you asking, "Where are you going with all of this ranting and anger?"

Two nights ago my husband and I learned that a very dear family member is facing, what soon could be, the fight of his life. We were in total disbelief. "HOW COULD IT BE!? AND WHY HIM!?" He was told that he has Lou Gehrig’s disease and/or is symptomatic that follows the guidelines of this terrible illness.  As soon as the shock wore off, I went into fight mode. I don't know why, but something in me says there is a window of opportunity that will lead to his recovery, but what - that I don't know yet and the storm of crazy dreams has once again begun. As much as I got upset with the weird dreams and strong intuitional feelings all of my life, it’s been rather quiet in my mind for the last year, however since this bit of information had been brought to my attention well let’s just say, I'm glad they are back. I know I'm supposed to help and have the ability to help, but I don't have all the answers yet and those of you who know me, when I want an honest answer and know there is one, but is not offered to me....I get very very temperamental. Yeah, temperamental - that's a good word for it. Mild in description, but good, as crazed woman on a mission would freak some people out. (Smile).

My heart tells me he will recover, but when I see him I’ll know more and that more, I hope, will be the peace of knowing he’ll be the one that finds a cure. He is a Seabee and Seabee’s FIGHT! We also stand by each other and have a “Can Do” spirit. He was in Desert Shield and Desert Storm, if he can battle that – HE CAN BATTLE ANYTHING! I am asking for your prayers that he too will be blessed with a miracle. I have also asked my guardian angel “Rose” to give him the same strength she gave me and that he WILL see his daughter graduate and get married! “A guardian angel Stacey, get real. There is no such thing.”  Oh my, do you really believe that? Well I am a LIVING proof that sometimes you have to be able to BELIEVE in a power that you can’t see. It worked for me and a friend of ours out west who was diagnosed with breast cancer. 18 years later, and she also relapsed half way through this time frame….SHE IS STILL HERE TOO!!!!

So here we go again. Last time I questioned the possibilities of a higher power, something happened and I had the shock of my life. Here is the sign I got and I will never question the big guy again.

One night I woke, and felt as thought someone was watching me. I got up, and tried to walk through the flickering light of a television station that had gone off the air. Our bathroom is on an angle from our room. I decided to leave the door open as everyone was asleep. I frozen when I looked into my room and saw him. Do you see him in these photographs? Tell me what do you see? I took one photo with the lights on to proved this photo is not doctored in anyway. It is only a quilt on my bed. See photos below.

With the bedroom light on.

when the light was off, the area at the end of my bed seemed to have a light glow to it.
DO YOU SEE HIM????

When the snow of the tv station was light, this is what I captured.
 I took a lot of pictures as the image stayed there as long as I sat there.

“God, it’s me again. You’ve proven to me that there is hope and miracles do happen in this world. Show me that it is still there. Please bless our friend and his family during this time of illness and bestow upon them all of your strength, power, and guidance to see them through. Let them know that they are loved by many that they are important to those around them and they will prevail!”