"Visitor In a Dream"

"Visitor in a Dream" - A true story

By Stacey L. Bolin

2/4/2013
Instrumental Musical Piece used to help me find the words to this story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9XeaGxHKgE&list=RDRKaeeU5kqzs

 

She had been experiencing many dreamless nights since her husband's best friend had passed away three months ago. She worried what this meant, because as far back as she could remember, all her life she had been touched by the dreams that she walked though in her sleep - both good ones and bad ones. Often times many of these vivid experiences would leave her with the inability to know the difference between being awake or living in a twilight world of images. On one particular night late in January of 2014, a visitor, in her dreams, and one she had anticipate would come to her over the past few months, finally arrived as she slept while she lay wrapped in the arms of her husband and the softness of their cotton sheets. She slowly walked around in the life inside her dream, listening to the sounds of seagulls above and enjoying the warmth from a sun that gave her the belief that she was in California. Images of people all walking by, all wearing smiles upon their faces gave the impression all was well - she felt safe.  He stood tall and walked up to her with his unique stride, unlike the last time she had seen him lying motionless on his bed in his home, in early July, as the effect of his disease continued to consume him until his dying day. Soon, he stood before her - she knew him and wanted so much to throw her arms around him and welcome him back.

He began to circle around her and moved gracefully - angelic. A voice, his voice, as strong and as clear as life had once given him so many years ago, spoke of a day that was important and where she would find it in a box of photos that had been sheltered from life's light. She knew of the day that he spoke of, but not a word did she speak. Soon a feeling of deep seeded sorrow began to grow inside her, as she knew that when he left, she would never see him again, as it would be the same as all the visitors that have passed on, and chose to come back to see her one last time - they knew she could help them connect with the ones they left behind. She looked upon him, wanting so much to touch him and bring him back to the life and the family that ached for his return. As his image slowly moved away, she found her words and promised him that she would find the picture and would get it to his wife.

Her eyes opened to the darkness of her bedroom - he was gone but the sorrow still lingered. She lay there quietly, not to disturb her husband as he slept peacefully. Tears rolled down her face to pool upon her pillow. The reality of death had been lost within her dream world where all lived on, healthy and free from the pain of disease and illness they had been battling. The alarm clock began to play its morning wake up tune as the coffee pot in the kitchen signaled, with several beeps, that a much needed morning jolt of caffeine was ready and waiting. She lay still in the bed as she watched her husband slowly rise and begin his morning routine. She wanted to tell him about his best friend coming to visit her in her dreams - but again couldn't find a voice without tears to be shed – she’d wait until later in the day.

She chose to set her sorrow aside and got up and helped her family prepare for their day at work and school, while silently reliving the dream. As she saw the last of her family off to begin their day, she stood in the sounds of silence of their home, still coping with the disbelief that their friend was no longer among them. The sorrow began to grow again as she knew that she needed to face her fears and find the moment in time that he spoke of.

Since the passing of their friend in November, she battled one emotion after another. She missed him tremendously as he had occasionally offered her guidance to understand the mind of a front line solider and how to connect with the man in her life and understand the continued battle of war that was still being fought within their minds. His words had been silenced until now and she knew that he would not have asked her to do something, if it wasn't for the best of reasons.

She feared the pictures that she would stumble upon - images of her children as they grew though the years, the smiles of her grandparents that had passed away some years ago, and the youthful look of her and her husband on their wedding day. 

Her hands shook as a deeper reality of her fears came forward forcing her to find an unknown strength to reach for the photo albums and photos boxes that had been tucked away because of her fears that she told nobody about. In a huge clear box that had been put away into the darkness of a closet, was her entire life on Kodak film that marked numerous life moments in a past that she missed and would live over and over again, if given the ability to go back in time.  Her heart cried out as she touched each picture and relieved each memory - she was finally facing her fears of saying goodbye to each day that has passed though the hands of time, the fear of getting older and seeing the difference in her hair color that was now turning gray, the fear of her parents passing away, the fear of never getting to hold her babies like she did when she brought them into the world, the fear of them moving away and not missing her,  the fear of her guilt for not telling a person how much she loved and appreciated them, before they passed away and fearing the death of her relationship knowing that one day, her and the love of her life  would be separated to pass through heaven's gate and the endless wonder if they would ever meet again?

"God please help me,” was all she could say as she continued through the photos one by one. Without warning immediately she found herself back on a warm California day in December of 1992. The picture she had been asked to find was now in her grasp. A moment captured in time and was what the visitor in her dream now looked like once again. She laughed and cried as the memories of that day flooded her mind, heart, and soul. She now understood why it was important for her to get this photo to his wife. She also knew why he asked her to find it. It wasn't just for him and his wife, it was also for her and her husband as well.

 

Knottsberry Farm - California 92

 

 ***

The four of us knew what this day meant, as the military was going to transfer my husband and I to a different duty station and his best friend and his wife would remain in California. We knew that there was a good chance we might never see one another again.  What we took from this day was something nobody could ever take from us both in life and in death - A bond of brothers in arms, friendships that would last forever, and that we had all found our love of a lifetime.

 

Finding this picture, helped me realize that he is watching over his family ,and ours, and that when our time comes - he'll be waiting to greet us at heavens gate, but for now, we must enjoy our time on this massive earth, don't fear the past, don't dwell in the past, learn from it and enjoy what you have done in your life and keep moving forward doing what you do to the best of your ability -  as you only get once chance to make it the best it can be.