Cluttered Mind = Cluttered Life?

We'll happy Thursday everyone. I have not forgotten you and I have received your topic requests with many asking for my advice on how to cope with negative emotions caused by trauma (I'm not certified to give advice, and won't. I will only share my personal experiences in that field as we all are different and handle things differently). The other, biggy blog request (Wow, say that three times fast) - to set a new quest of being debt free by 2014. Yikes!  You saw how bad I did with organizing my house, but I am really starting to understand the words of my therapist when he says, that a cluttered mind is a cluttered life. That statement rings oh so true in my case. The emotions of a past negative event has caused me to store so much crap in my thoughts that there are days when it all wants to come out, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Where is Clint Eastwood when you need him to do the dirty work and clean everything up? *Wink* But what is the scariest part of my thoughts, could there really be a happier me wanting to show its true colors? God I  hope so, but I know I have to take this quest, one minute at a time. The good thing is that I feel that it's there, but I'm so afraid of being hurt again by stigmas, and stereotypes, that had been placed on me in years past - I tend to be very guarded. I can't help but wonder - was my personality so bad, that is was better to overlook it and bad mouth me to others instead of saying - "Stacey I think you need some help?" I'm sure some will say hell yeah! I know, sometimes we ask someone what is wrong, and you find you have lost 6 hours of your life that you can't get back, other times, the 6 hours is not enough to just listen without judgment and hear the one important statement that surfaces in the jumbled mass of verbiage to alert another to why a person is dealing with such emotional stress. For me, when I tried to speak, I was labeled a drama queen and/or crazy bitch. So sad that people found it easier to label the unknown and turn away from me. Could it be that labeling a person freed their guilt of walking away? As I stand back and watch the world around me, I realize that I am nobody special in this category; people do this to others all the time, especially on social media - that's even worse.   I saw the quote above, on Facebook this morning and it speaks in volumes. It is only now that I am learning that with each word that I hear, I have to decide what importance it has in my life, is it positive, constructive, loving, helpful or negative and hurtful. That is a difficult task for a person that never really listened to anything but the negative. By learning the tool of effective listening, it is shedding some light on what I want for the future for myself and family.

So yesterday, I decided that it was time to remove this debt shroud that has been covering my family finances for years. I went through my paperwork detail for detail, telling myself that I can't change what happened in the past, I can't get all the late charges and fees reversed, but I know how to avoid ever being plagued by them again. My goal is to have all of our debt paid in full, with the exception of our Mortgage, and one truck payment, one year from now. It can be done if I am doing the math right, but means that it will require strict financial discipline - and my continued weekly visits to my therapist. So my readers that sent the requests to report once a week on my progress with surviving in a bad economy and becoming debt free - You got it, but realize that I may not be able to keep up with my desire to be a daily blogger until I learn this routine in  my day called - going to work. On that note, I'm going to start my day and tackle the motherly duties I have on my list today, so be kind to one another and know that the sun can come up tomorrow if you just find it in yourself to believe. And on days you just can't find that strength to believe and all else appears to be failing, do what I do and put a song on that reaches deep into your happy place and play it as loud as your speakers and your neighbors will allow.  Below is the link to my happy song for the week - who knows, try it on for size...maybe it's your too.

Be sure to visit again, as my next topic is entitled "Is it Breast Cancer?" A true story.  Until next time - Blog ya later alligators.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFLZ-MzIhM  - The Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog.