Musical inspiration for this story:
The Diagnosis - Is it Breast Cancer?
By Stacey L. Bolin
She arrived at the Walter Reed National Medical Center in
Bethesda, Maryland, with ample time to spare to get her insurance error -
possibly - corrected so that she would be able to keep her nine o'clock
appointment with her internal medicine clinic. She rolled up to the gate guard
and provided him with her military identification card without any conversation
as he quickly tried to analyzed if her entrance onto the facility would be one
as friend or foe. He waved her on to proceed while offering a simple smile of
his eyes through his serious duties - if only the answers to her medical
situation could be reviled in such a moment that was a just a wave of the hand
and keen instincts.
Her fears intensified as she parked her truck and made her
way into the medical center in route to the Tri-care office. It was always
moments like these, the medical unknown, the her prayers to God to offer
guidance would be all that consumed her waking thoughts and this day wasn't any
different. "Please God, please let someone understand what is happening
here," were the only words that she muttered as she walked the long
corridors to the main lobby where the Tri-Care office was located.
She was met by a very personable representative that was
quick to shadow any face of sorrow that had been worn on any person that walked
into her office. When she realized the error that had transpired at the Naval
Academy Tri-care office, she was completely appalled that people from the same
company that she represented, would lack such compassion and would not take
responsibility for the breakdown in communication. The
representative handed her a clip board to fill out her military information,
and said, "Don't worry dear, this is an easy fix and I do apologize for
the lack of compassion our sister office offered you. These last two days must
have been so stressful for you, but if it makes you feel any better, I believe
you are going to be just fine - keep the faith." Suddenly she found a glimpse
of inner peace upon hearing such a positive statement, and as she continued
struggling to fight her fears filled with insurmountable emotion - her eyes
began to well up as she broke into much needed soulful cry. "Sweetie,
Relax, your paperwork is fine and your insurance is fully active. Don't stress
over the unknown as it will only bring you down."
Her fears had somewhat dwindled, because of the
representatives sincere words of encouragement, as she walked a bit taller on
her way to the internal medicine clinic. The halls on the way there still felt
long, dark, and distorted; while at the same time the smell of baking bread from
the "Subway" in the building found a way to focus her thoughts on
something that meant more to her than life itself - her family. Images of
precious moments she had experience in her life danced within her mind - her
wedding day, her babies being born, the moment when she first saw her love of a
life time - if only she could turn back the hands of time and relive all the moments
that were near and dear to her heart, once again. She knew that it was time to
find her inner strength and determination she possessed, which was more like a
second personality – a.k.a. her body guard - that would kick in when her first
personality felt hurt, scared, threatened, and broken by life.
She arrived at the internal medicine clinic, checked in and
let the waiting commence. Now the one thing about her, was that her love for
research was never put aside for any reason or situation, but she also knew it
was never a good thing to rely on the internet for medical advice, however in
this situation, it was the only thing that gave her the hope that if it wasn’t
breast cancer, than maybe it could be a cyst or a gland infection due the quickness
of symptoms, the size of mass, and the pain that accompanied it. In a few short
moments, time would tell the tale.
Her name was soon called by the vitals nurse and she made her
way into the clinic. Her blood pressure
was 141/90, and her pulse was rapid – which had the nurse on instant alert. The
nurse immediately took her to a basic examination room, and instructed her to
disrobe from the waist up, put a gown on with the opening in the front, and to
take a sit on the exam table as the nurse conducted a quick EKG test to rule out a heart problem. Then nurse closed the curtain and left the room
to get the doctor. The room was bright and the smells were the same as any exam
room, yet the urgency of the nurse to get her into a room, triggered a memory
from more than nineteen years ago, when she was being examined for a lump in
her collar bone, while eight months pregnant with her first son, that was
revealed by numerous tests that she had Hodgkin’s Disease. Her breathing became
rapid as the memories of her past let the fears of the current unknown take hold of
her once again.
A knock on the door followed by a good morning, was the
announcement in her thoughts that the moment was finally upon her. What was lurking
just underneath her skin was about to be known. The doctor introduced himself,
as this was not her normal assigned primary care physician, and asked some
general health questions before his physical examination. She explained in great detail when she first
noticed the mass and the symptoms that soon followed upon her discovery. She
admitted that she had also researched online the symptoms and that even thought
it could be a malignant mass, it could also be a glad infection.
Now usually doctors never want to be told, what the diagnosis
is, especially from a patient with no medical education what-so-ever, but this
doctor was different. He was pleased to know that she had taken the time to
learn more about her symptoms and that she also chose to see a medical
professional and not just try to diagnosis and treat the symptoms with over the
counter medicals and warm compresses. In his professional opinion he agreed
with the idea that it felt like an infection, but with her long medical history
and having a prior cancer and radiation and chemo therapies, he didn’t feel comfortable
making any the decision to treat. He ask her to get dressed as he left the room
to make a few phone calls and within minutes she was escorted upstairs to the
breast care clinic for testing.
It was at this moment she began to fear the worst, even with
the knowledge that the doctor she had just seen felt it was a possible infection;
there was still a realm of uncertainty that loomed over her. She waited
anxiously for her name to be called, as she tried to focus on the pages of a
people magazine that had been left on a chair beside her.
The door to numerous testing centers opened and her name was
called. She stood up and began walking with the male nurse that called her
name, but she couldn’t feel her feet upon the floor, sounds went silent, and
people around her became blurred that gave the appearance that she was walking
in a tunnel that wrapped the most glorious feeling of warmth all around her. It
was the same feeling she had experienced when a package had mysteriously arrived
in her mailbox one February afternoon back in the late 1990’s, that had no
return address or postage, yet the contents within provided all the information
of a promise she had made to husband back in February of 1992, and was the reason her and her husband had
taken their relationship from friends to soul mates.
With her being taken up to the breast clinic without a
scheduled appointment, meant a wait longer than normal was to be expected. She
took a deep breath and laid herself down on the exam table as the nurse stepped
out to let the doctor know she had arrived.
When the doctor arrived, she was once again asked to disrobe from the
waist up and the doctor immediately proceeded with a physical examination.
“Well Petty Officer, I have good news…I believe what you have
here is a condition called Mondor’s Disease, but just to be on the safe side, I
am going to have you go over to the breast care ultrasound clinic to rule out
anything else.” The stresses and fears that once restrained her, lifted instantaneously
as she followed the doctor to the ultrasound clinic. When they arrived, the doctor
turned and shook her hand and said, “I know it is not breast cancer, however
Mondor’s disease is very rare and should be watched closely, however I am confident that it will get better, but
it will take some time. You should return in two weeks or sooner if the pain
and swelling gets worse.”
“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.” She said with
a smile of relief.
“You are welcome.” Replied the doctor and then she went on
her way.
The Ultra sound indicated that there was significant swelling
in the breast cord and that with Motrin and warm compresses, the pain and
swelling would reduce over a two to three week period. It was a relief to hear
such words as she left the building and made her way home. Her fears had retreated
into the back room of her thoughts to plan for their next attempt to consumer
her. For now, she smiled and relished in the thought that she was givin another chance to live, love, and be happy to make many new memories with her boys, and her love of a life time - her husband.
God was with me once again.
To learn more about the mysterious envelope that arrived in our mailbox in the book:
"Through the Barracks Window" available on Amazon.com
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