Thursday, August 29, 2013

"Your Bladder or Mine"

It was the last day of July and the preparations for a long drive west were underway. The luggage had been packed, the truck had been cleaned from top to bottom - inside and out. The cooler was cooling with goodies that ranged from sweet pickles for the family, to various flavors of our favorite soda. We had taken a trip to Michigan over the 4th of July to visit family for a couple days and we looked at the 12 hour drive to Michigan, from our home, as a process of conditioning for our 27 hour trek to Nebraska that would commence in less than 12 hours.
 
It had been at least five years since our last driven venture to the west to where my husband was born and raised. We had been anticipating the trip for months, yet fears of truck trouble, limited funds, and teen-age boys that suffer from N.G.F.T.W. or otherwise known as (No girlfriends for two weeks) would somehow put a wrinkle in our plans. What am I hearing, your laughing at the girlfriends comment?...Come on now, we all know those youthful days of young love and the paranoia of wondering if your special someone is really missing you or really can survive without you around for a few days. Let me just say, if it weren't for sleeping most of the trip and the electronic flat boxes, they protect more than the family jewels, their I-phones, I think that we would have had to provide them with oxygen treatments and frequent calls to a therapist. Ok, I'm being overly dramatic, but honestly...I'm relatively close in what I am describing.
 
Now with any trip, there is always the argument of who is the better driver - Mom or Dad. I will be the first to say - Ladies this is the only way to get somewhere if your driving with a car load of men. (See the video below)
 
Ladies....am I right?  Big Cheesy Grin on my face and enjoying a big belly laugh as I watch the video - they had no idea. He He.
 
By 6am, on the first of August, we managed to get ourselves up and into our over the road traveling clothes, but have learned over the years that it was better to look somewhat presentable. The most memorable trip on the road was when we had stopped at a truck stop, we were tired, we had severe pillow hair - for those of us not driving - and we looked as if we had gone without a shower or clean clothes for months, that resulted in a stranger handing us a couple bucks and told us to get some food for our kids. OMG - Too funny.
 
 ***
 
All the information for our house guest, who would be staying at our home to babysit our cat, was on the counter in case of any emergencies that may arise. The luggage was loaded with the cooler strategically placed for those - on the road needs - while the truck was in motion. Once the blankets and pillows found themselves at our traditional road trip seat locations, we put ourselves in the truck, shut the doors and let the adventure begin. Two minutes down our street a sleepy voice from the back said - "Are we there yet?" My husband and I just looked at one another, the fun was just beginning.
 
We stopped at our local McDonald's to get a bite to eat, and was officially onward at 6:35am - destination - North Platte, Nebraska. We decided to deviate from our typically driven route of 70 and a few other routes that would eventually bring us to some where near Des Moines, Iowa to then get on I-80 for the rest of our journey. This time we chose to stay on 70 as much as we could and then go from Kansas City, Missouri northward to Nebraska. We made it to Rocky Gap, in Cumberland, Maryland, in record time and took a moment to stop and take in the rising of the morning sun. It was at this stop the "I Gotta' Pee" games began.
 
 
 
"Rocky Gap - Rest Stop - Cumberland, MD." 2013
 
Now my husband and I, have literally traveled from west to east and back again, maybe not all at once, yet either way I'm almost positive that our butts have tolerated some serious auto travels in our days and have been on more seat cushions than toilets. But I'm sure that many of you that had traveled long distance by car with your parents or grandparents, when you were kids, remember those curses that were cast upon us when we would complained about the frequent urinary travel habits of our elders. Come on now, I know you are guilty and remember that impatient feeling, as you rolled your eyes thinking - "Holy crap are we ever going to get there".  Well as much and my husband and I wanted to believe all these years we would never be stricken with or by any of those parental curses, I must be honest when I say, we too are not immune and our eye rolling and bad thoughts, as kids, have come back to haunt us. Along with age, back pain, fatigue, and numerous bodily changes - the biggest change in our abilities for our on the road long distance traveling, and something we learned with quickness - we both suffer from - OBC - Questionable bladder control. All those cokes and water bottles that we had consumed along our driven travels to stay awake like we had done years past, no longer stored anywhere near as long in our bladders as they did five years ago - but neither my husband or myself wanted to be the person that would say, "Next rest stop pull over I gotta pee."

Now with my husband I and our bulging bladders, my kids dealt with the sides effects to Boredom -  Braxton hicks man style - AKA - Hunger pains. Before we could stop to do anything to save the treats -  the boys were in full munchies madness mode and any snack items that were in their reach had no hope for surviving to lunch. (It was a good thing I had more hidden in the back with the luggage). All in all the day was filled with your typical long distance drive summer traffic and unique ways that people kill the time to survive the close quarters confinement for hours on end. Our favorite was when I would see a truck stop that said Pilot, I'd say "Pilot", followed by my younger son replying "Subway", as we notice with every Pilot truck stop, it had a subway. But the biggest and most important requirement with any and every drive we make, having our Dairy Queen radar's on. Yes I will admit it, we are Dairy Queen junkies and if you were to total up the number of stops we made just for Dairy Queen, it would average out that we stopped at every other one, from Ohio to Nebraska and back. Even my husband knows, when he is sound asleep, there is a Dairy Queen near by and will immediately wake up - That my friends is no exaggeration.

***

We saw many sights along our first day of traveling, below are a couple pictures I was able to capture while in route to our destination. We had never seen either of these places before, so it was exciting to see something new. Sorry if they are a bit blurry.

St. Louis Arch

Kansas City Baseball Stadium

One the first day of the drive, my husband and I shared the driving, just about equally. He probably did about two hours more than I had, but we still made great time to get to a more than half way point. At about 8:30 on the first night, my husband had been struggling to stay awake, and was realizing that his pride was trying to win a loosing battle. He had suggested looking for a place to spend the night, but being unfamiliar with the St. Louis area, or any place in Missouri for that matter, I offered my driving services and suggest that he lie down and get some sleep and I would continue on ward, but that idea just wasn't setting well with him and he chose to drive on. By 10:30, he had had enough and pulled over to get a room. Now we all know that you get what you pay for and he spotted a sign that said - "Room's $29.95 a night next four exits."  Something just didn't sit well with me, but I could see he was dreadfully tired and our heated seats were no longer taking care of his back pain, so I didn't add my two cents. The exit off I-70 was somewhat lit up by a TA truck stop location and the hotel that the billboard had indicated four exits back, was tucked back into the darkness on a dead end road about a half mile passed the truck stop.

Immediately I began to have ideas about my upcoming Halloween stories for my blog in October. My radar was screaming and it wasn't because there was a Dairy Queen near by, this was telling me that we were entering an area that had probably been the location of a crime scene many times. He pulled into the parking lot when I noticed a sign that was hand written in marker on a white piece of flat plastic that was bolted to the bottom of the pole of the billboard, that advertised the hotel for people going east bound, that said, no turn-arounds allowed. "Yeah that's because people go in, but they don't come out." I thought to myself. My younger son was the first to speak up and say, "Hey Dad, doesn't Norman Bates live here?" It was obvious that in-spite of my husbands pain and sheer fatigue, he could see that we were not comfortable staying the night in a place where when the lights go out, the green evil eyes of the darkness would appear and our luggage would be whisked away by creatures with a million legs.

It didn't take much convincing to get my husband to get into the back of our Suburban and sleep, and let my boys and I decide to drive through the night or find a place to stop and rest. After my oldest son utilized his phone to find hotels and read any reviews, we made a couple of stops, but again, these hotels gave me that same - Norman Bates kinda feeling - and I continued to drive onward. Eventually we found a comfort Inn hotel just immediately off of exit 125, in a small town called Myersville. The desk clerk was extra helpful and met us with a smile, which is hard to find at 1:30 in the morning. He put us up on the first floor, suite 107, that provided both of my boys their own beds and a king sized bed for my husband and I. He even offered the use of the hot tub all night if my husband needed it to help get his back feeling better. My younger son and I ended up being the ones who took advantage of hot tub, while my husband and oldest son, chose to take advantage of immediate sleep in an - I can spread out horizontal position. After twenty-five minutes of enjoying the soothing feeling on our tired muscles in the hot tub, we decided to follow suit and we too called it a night. With our first day being uneventful, we could have never imagined the growing danger that would find us in North Platte.

To be continued....